This cannot be happening
by Jojo6
Summary: AU story. Some swearing. Shippy. Complete.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 is an original MGM, Greenburg/Anderson, Gekko, Top Secret, Kawoosh! production.  
Any material relating to Stargate SG-1 is for entertainment only, and is in no way meant as an infringement on copyrights. In other words, I own nadda. 

Spoilers: There are spoilers all over the damn place. Except S6. I'm pretending in this one that season six doesn't exist. And if the timelines are a little iffy, just ignore it. 

**Chapter One** (Point of View) 

**'' Unauthorised offworld activation!''**

Sam looked up from her microscope in surprise, glanced at Daniel who was lounging against her bench, coffee mug between his hands, mouth open as the klaxons interrupted his next word. '' Who's off-world?'' 

'' Um, I'm really not the person to ask... wait, SG-16 are, aren't they?'' He checked his watch. '' And they should be returning nearly on time, if that is them.'' 

She tapped her fingers against the bench. '' Guess we could wander on down anyway....'' 

**'' SG-1 to control! SG-1 to control!''**

'' Guess we ought to,'' Daniel said, smirking slightly and pushing off the bench. 

They hurried to the elevators, wondering what the Stargate had in store for them. SG-1 was supposed to be on downtime this week - the Colonel had actually left for his cabin the day before, and Teal'c had gone to visit his family, while the two scientists had remained behind to catch up on some pending projects. The Colonel had muttered something that sounded rather like 'damn crazy scientists' to Sam's acute hearing, but she'd refused to rise to the bait. Just what was she supposed to do at home anyway? 

General Hammond was standing at the enforced glass, looking down into the gate room. He was frowning. 

'' General?'' Daniel asked, coming to stand next to the man and following his eyeline. He stiffened. '' Oh!'' 

'' What?'' Sam looked down into the gate room and unconsciously mirrored Daniel's reaction: '' Oh!'' 

Standing at the top of the ramp, arms wrapped around the shoulders of a child with the armed defence team aiming at her, was Samantha Carter. 

_Here we go again...._

Daniel crossed his arms. '' Okay, long hair. I'm thinking she's not in the Air Force.'' 

Sam resisted the urge to thump her friend. '' General?'' she queried, really not sure what to do. '' I thought the mirror had been destroyed.'' 

'' It has.'' He moved off, trusting Daniel and Sam to follow him as they hurried down the stairs. 

The SFs were all still in place when they entered the gate room. '' Stand down!'' General Hammond marched right up to the foot of the ramp. '' Identify yourself.'' 

The woman - Sam was having difficulty figuring out what to call her - stared with wide eyes at the General. Her eyes flicked to Sam, to Daniel, and then back to General Hammond. '' Major Samantha Carter, Sir. And you're General Hammond. Dr Daniel Jackson.'' There was a slight, almost triumphant smile. '' And Major Samantha Carter.'' 

The child, a boy, made a small sound, his eyes fixed on Sam. '' Are they gonna shoot us?'' he whispered, hands going up to clutch at the ones crossed over his chest. 

'' Shush.'' The woman - oh, for God's sake - the _other_ Samantha Carter, rubbed his chest with her hands absently. '' Ah, General, sir, could you possibly ask the SFs to stand down? They are a little unnerving.'' 

For the first time, Sam's eyes drifted from the face of her duplicate, and the face of the child, to really look at her. The longer hair, as Daniel had pointed out so swiftly, was there but it was blonder, streakier, the kind of colour Sam's went when she took a long holiday somewhere sunny (not that that had happened recently). The other Sam had hers in a long ponytail and it was probably the length Sam's had been when she was a teenager. Her skin was slightly darker, more tanned. But those differences weren't surprising - clearly this woman had been somewhere hot recently. It was her clothes that were the real surprise. 

They were alien clothes. A strange blue-grey tunic thing, glinting like metal in the lights of the gate room. A studded belt pulled the tunic in at the waist and the hem, which came to about mid-thigh was studded with similar turquoise-like stones. Under the tunic, she was wearing a pair of trousers in the same colour, and black, slightly pointy boots. Nothing in Sam's closet, suffice to say, looked anything like what this woman was wearing. The overall effect was nice, Sam supposed, but she'd never wear it out in public. Not that Sam really went out into public all that much anymore. 

'' Is that a weapon, Major Carter?'' 

The woman touched the object that was strapped to her waist, her face flickering imperceptibly. '' Of course, sir.'' 

Sam's fingers itched to get her hands on it, see what it did, take it apart and put it back together again. That wasn't unusual. When she was forced to take medical leave, Sam tended to take apart her kitchen appliances. Thank God the Colonel didn't know about that; it would lead to no end of embarrassment. 

'' Then I'd appreciate it if you put it on the ramp and kicked it towards us.'' 

The woman smiled. '' Yes, of course sir.'' She unclipped the weapon, dropped it casually onto the ramp and toed it away with her boot. '' I have no other weapons, General. Nor does my son.'' 

'' _Your son_?'' Sam exclaimed. She immediately regretted it, and cast the General an apologetic look for her behaviour. But inside her mind was racing. How could she have a son? And with whom? Sam was no judge of children's ages, but basing the boy's height on that of her nephew's, she imagined he was about five or six. Brown hair, straight and smooth like her nephew's, she couldn't really see his eye colour from where she was standing but his face had the youthful innocence that she associated with young children. 

'' You don't have... Oh, good. That'll make entrophic cascade failure something he'll miss out on.'' The woman looked about the room curiously, wide blue eyes taking in everything (Sam wondered if that startled rabbit expression was something she did as well). '' I must say. It looks like the gate room I left behind. But it clearly isn't. I mean, I realised something was wrong when we stepped out of that cave and saw the planet was now deserted of all life....'' 

General Hammond seemed to come to a decision. '' Ah, perhaps this would be better conducted in the briefing room. Major, if you and your son would step this way.'' Hammond stepped back, and gestured to the doors. He raised his eyebrows at the two SFs nearest him and they nodded slightly, understanding that they would be escorting the other Major Carter and her son to the briefing room. 

'' How did they get here?'' Daniel demanded in a low voice. '' Without the mirror?'' 

'' I guess we'll just have to ask her.'' 

Sam and Daniel followed General Hammond, both of their curiosities piqued. Sam, personally, couldn't believe she was faced with yet another version of herself to compare herself to. It was bad enough the last time, with Dr Carter being married to her CO.... 

The duplicate Major Carter took Sam's seat automatically, pulling the child onto her lap sideways. The boy rested his head on his mother's shoulder and closed his eyes. 

Sam sat opposite her, with Daniel next to her right. The SFs stood to attention inside the doorway, guns at the ready. 

'' Tell us exactly what happened, Major Carter,'' Hammond asked patiently. 

'' Well, my son and I were exploring the caves of Vema Desola.'' 

Beside her, Daniel scrawled down the name quickly, with a question mark beside it. It was not a name he recognised. 

'' They were nothing new - the usual cave paintings displaying the history of the area, how the humans had been brought there through the Stargate, the Goa'uld and so on. As I said, nothing new. The caves themselves were pretty much off limits, except to certain, shall we say, high ranking archaeologists on the High Council.'' 

'' Then how did you get in?'' Daniel interrupted. 

Major Carter cast a casual glance at him. '' By wheedling, Dr Jackson. Besides, the High Councillor himself is a friend.... and Matthew is a particular favourite of his.'' She shrugged. '' I thought they were nothing special but Matthew enjoyed himself - he loves tramping through caves.'' She smiled slightly, and glanced down at the boy napping on her. '' But something happened, I can only imagine one of us touched something we shouldn't have, because when we left the caves, it appeared that the city had disappeared. Completely. There was nothing but forest between us and the Stargate.'' 

'' An alternate reality _cave_?'' Hammond looked at his Major Carter for confirmation. 

'' Anything's possible when it comes to the Ancients, sir,'' Sam said, her brow furrowed. Something wasn't right here - what on earth was she, the other she, doing 'tramping' around in caves with her son? She wouldn't have thought children would be allowed off world, even to relatively safe planets. And Matthew - hmm, she liked that name - seemed far too young in the first place. She, personally, would never consider taking a child of hers through the Stargate, not forgetting the fact that a boy that age couldn't possibly have the security clearance. Children didn't know how to keep such big secrets. What if he said something at school, for goodness sake? 

'' Exactly. So I did the only thing I could think of - I dialled home.'' 

'' Ah, yes, Major. How exactly did you get SG-1s code?'' 

Sam caught up quickly. '' Considering the differences in your... reality, it's seems that you having the current SG-1 code is highly unlikely.'' 

'' But apparently possible. I guess I'm just really, really lucky,'' the woman said, shaking her head with apparent relief. 

Again, that just didn't sit right with Sam. Had she emerged from the cave and logically come to the conclusion that she was in a different reality, Sam wouldn't have risked the life of her child and herself by dialling home, knowing the possibility that they could be splatted, so to speak, on the Stargate iris. 

And, looking at the General and Daniel, they were thinking exactly the same thing. 

'' Look, General, Major, Doctor,'' the other Major Carter continued slightly irritably, putting a hand to her temple, '' you have to understand. No matter how calm I may appear now, I was actually panicking. The first thing I thought of when I reached the Stargate was to get home. It was, in fact, all I could think of. Thinking about it now.... how close we could have been...'' The woman's hand began to shake and she put it down, wrapping it around her child. She lowered her head and kissed the top of his head. 

Okay. Maybe Sam could understand that. Maybe. After all - the thought of being stranded in a reality that wasn't hers was definitely not something that could be passed over. And she'd heard stories from women in the SGC that maternal instincts were not to be underestimated - which she supposed she had a little experience of, with Cassy. 

Daniel smiled sympathetically at the other Major Carter. '' I can understand that. Let's just be thankfully the codes were compatible, shall we?'' 

'' Yes. Quite. We have had some experience with entrophic cascade failure, Major..s. How long before we can expect Major Carter to experience the symptoms?'' 

'' Approximately forty-eight hours, sir.'' 

'' In that case, we'll get a team together and head back to the planet you've just come from.'' 

'' And therein lies the problem,'' Major Carter murmured, lifting her mouth from her son's head, her eyes weary. 

'' What?'' 

'' I don't know the symbols for Vema Desola.'' 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 

Colonel O'Neill looked amused. Serious, but amused. He walked along the corridor by Sam's side, smiling slightly. '' Daniel said you've lost out on the hair again, Major.'' 

Sam narrowed her eyes at him. '' If we don't find this planet, Colonel, she will die.'' 

He cleared his throat and they paused at the locker room. He was still in his civvies, as Sam had met him under orders of General Hammond to bring him up to speed. '' How's it going?'' 

Sam pushed open the door with her back and politely went to sit on the bench with her back to her CO. When they were all together in the locker room, eyes could wander. When it was just the two of them, professionalism was everything. '' Well, she has the code for the planet she gated from initially as a guest of the Principal, whatever that means - she seems to know a lot of government officials on these planets - but it's not a planet we've ever been too. As she was told this planet - Vema Desola - was a neighbouring one to the planet she was initially on - this P3X 224....'' 

He knew where she was going. '' We're looking at all the neighbouring planets.'' 

'' Yeah, of which there are about twenty.'' 

'' Are we dialling them up one by one?'' 

''And sending the UAV through.'' 

'' How many have we done?'' 

'' Two.'' 

As usual, he came straight to the crux of the matter. '' It's taking too long.'' 

'' Worse still, it's entirely likely that we'll come across at least fifteen highly coniferous planets just like Vema Desola.'' 

'' Which means we'll have to send a scout team through to confirm. Which will only take longer.'' 

'' Yeah,'' she sighed miserably. '' Decent?'' 

'' As I'll ever be.'' 

She turned around, strangely relieved to see her CO in his uniform. There was something about him when he was in jeans and a jumper, that leather jacket.... It unnerved her, that was what it was. 'Caring' about each other more than they were supposed to was easier to deal with when it was masked with uniforms and regulations and 'yes sir's and titles. Sometimes she was afraid she lingered on base purely because when she changed into her civvies she suddenly felt... naked. Vulnerable. Like if he approached her off base things would all fall apart. 

Which was, of course, completely ridiculous. There was nothing between them anymore. And if there was, it was damn well going to stay beneath the surface. 

'' What's the kid like?'' 

Sam smiled slightly, somehow not surprised. '' Sleepy. He's napping under the careful guidance of Janet in the infirmary. The other... me seemed to be comfortable leaving him with her. Something about Janet delivering him.'' 

The Colonel's eyebrows shot up. '' A proper SGC baby. Who's the father?'' 

Sam shrugged. '' No idea. No wedding ring. No name change.'' 

''Five or six years old. Guess I'm out of the running.'' He made a face and turned to leave the room swiftly. Sam was extremely glad, because she'd been slightly shocked when he'd so effortlessly brought up exactly what had been worrying her, and she just knew it showed on her face. She flushed and followed him, her head lowered, wishing her damn hair was longer. 

Major Carter was in the control room, at the computer, watching the current UAV footage and shaking her head. She seemed to be aware of their approach, and she turned around, looking at Sam and Colonel O'Neill. Sam couldn't help studying her mirror's face, looking for signs of recognition as she looked the Colonel. When nothing happened, Sam felt her shoulders slump. Their realities had to be totally different. Six years before, Sam had been working full time on the Stargate project. No time for boyfriends or fiancés. The odd date, nothing concrete. Perhaps that was it. A fling? A one night stand? Could Matthew have been an accident? 

Really, she oughtn't to be considering this. It was none of her business. 

'' I was thinking. To stave off the entrophic cascade failure,'' Daniel announced, making everyone jump as he walked towards the group by the computers, '' perhaps we could send Major Carter, or Sam, I suppose, to a planet really, really far away. Didn't you say distance would affect this.... thing?'' 

'' We need all the time we can get,'' Major Carter said, looking up at Sam. '' But... I would quite like to stay with my son.'' 

'' Of course,'' General Hammond said hurriedly. He glanced towards Sam. '' Major...? What's your take on this?'' 

Sam resisted the urge to let her mouth drop open. Oh God, this feeling was rather similar to rejection. Which was just stupid. '' Ah, well, I suppose that would work. I mean, it would work. Theoretically.'' 

'' I mean no disrespect when I say this but I can do anything you can. And we can check in with you... obviously it would be useful to have your input if... _when_ we find Vema Desola. It's just that.... this is taking such a long time.'' 

Sam had that sinking feeling. She was definitely being sent away. She sighed. '' We'll have to find a planet far away, friendly....'' 

Major Carter jumped up eagerly and ran to the star chart. After flicking her eyes over it, she selected a planet, as yet unlabelled. '' This one. We've visited this one. P4X 874. It's a tropical planet. No naquadah. No indigenous population. Long sandy beaches.'' 

'' In your reality,'' Sam pointed out impatiently. '' Wouldn't it be easier to find one we've already visited here?'' 

'' How much extra time are we talking about?'' the Colonel asked. 

'' It's impossible to predict that without any actual previous experience....'' 

'' A few hours, maybe as much as a day,'' Major Carter interrupted at once. '' So, we could send a UAV through. The MALP. We wouldn't be sending you without backup, would we?'' 

'' Sam?'' Daniel asked, unfailingly concerned. '' How do you feel about this?'' 

She felt pretty pissed off, actually. This woman was usurping her for all intensive purposes. But she wasn't going to say that. It wasn't _professional_ and God knew how she strove to be professional these days. '' If it'll help, of course I'll go.'' 

The Colonel looked from one major to the other, then his CO. '' General?'' 

'' Dial up P4X 874,'' the General decided. 

'' Tropical weather, hey, Carter? Maybe you'll come back with a tan.'' 

Sam rolled her eyes, thankful the Colonel couldn't see her face. She glared at the back of her mirror's head, knowing only too well she was being irrational. This woman was a mother - if she died in this reality, Matthew would be stranded here with no way to get back home. Maybe there was a husband in the other reality. A boyfriend. Whatever. It was imperative she help in whatever way she could. 

'' We'll be sending SG-2 with you, Major.'' 

Oh goodie. Feretti and his jokes. '' Yes, sir.'' 

**'' SG-2 to the briefing room! SG-2 to the briefing room!''**


	2. Chapter Two

AN - I don't actually know if SG-2 is lead by Feretti. In fact, I think it was probably Kowalski's team. Never mind.... 

**Chapter Two** (There But for the Grace of God) 

Sam dropped down on the beach and sighed. Her pack came off behind her and she leaned back, pulling her hat over her eyes, the sun heating up her body rapidly. Maybe the Colonel was right. A nice tan would definitely improve her mood. 

Dammit, Sam, stop it. 

What was going on with her? 

SG-2 were pretty pleased, anyway. They were spread out along the beach, taking advantage of the holiday atmosphere. The UAV had shown that the medium-sized island the Stargate was situated on was unpopulated, just like Major Carter had said, and while there was a sort of rocky set of hills and caves towards one end of the island which could house unpleasant surprises, it was at the far south-east of the island, the opposite end to the Stargate. And the axis of the planet was such that there would be more hours of sun anyway so it wasn't as if they'd have to spend the night here. 

Sam pulled off her shirt, bundled it up and tucked it under her head. It was going to be a long day. 

Lunch was the usual delight. The boys of SG-2 tried to entertain Sam in the only way SG-2 could - with poor, politically incorrect jokes. She decided, by the end of the meal, that it was quite sweet really. And it would have been really funny had she been not entirely sober. 

'' Any ideas on who the dad is?'' 

She rolled her eyes. '' No, Feretti.'' 

'' Ah, come on. Who were you dating six years ago?'' 

'' No one,'' she muttered, looking into her cup of water. 

'' No one at all?'' 

'' I was working on the Stargate project. I didn't have time.'' 

He nudged her with his elbow. '' Thanks, by the way.'' 

'' Huh?'' 

'' For the Stargate project.'' 

She frowned. '' It was Daniel who figured out..'' 

'' You did the impossible - figured out a dialling procedure.'' 

Which was so full of holes he'd probably pass out if she explained them all too him. '' Well, I'm not sure...'' 

'' You don't take compliments well, do you?'' 

She smiled. '' No,'' she admitted, and decided it would be best to change the conversation. '' I hope they find the planet soon. I don't want to be here through the night, even though the MALP showed no signs of life.'' 

'' Would it make you feel better if we investigated those caves?'' 

'' It would give us something to do.'' 

So that was how they ended up at the other end of the island, scrambling up rocky inclines. Feretti had left behind two men by the Stargate, in case they were contacted, leaving Sam, Feretti and Captain Fellows to occupy their time with some investigation. 

The larger, lower caves were fairly shallow and completely empty. No markings on the walls, no signs of life, human or otherwise. It was nice and cool inside the caves and they took a break in one, sipping from their water bottles and looking out at the view. 

'' It's actually a pretty nice spot.'' 

'' Retirement village?'' 

Sam smiled. It was a running joke in the SGC - how the SG teams with clearance could retire off-world to an appropriately beautiful, untouched world. It didn't appeal to Sam particularly, but she knew the Colonel would probably like something like that. Just think of Edora. 

Or not. 

He hadn't even asked her to go fishing this time. 

God, where had that come from? 

She slid the cap back on her bottle. '' I'll check out the next cave.'' 

'' Okay.'' 

She climbed up directly outside the cave, using her hands to tug her up, pushing against shrubs and then edging along a fairly narrow stone pathway. The drop down wasn't steep - she would survive a fall - but she wasn't keen on making a fool of herself in front of SG-2. After all, she was the famous Major Carter of SG-1. She had a certain reputation to maintain. It was Daniel who broke ankles, arms, fingers, and toes in embarrassing fashions. She got concussions or alien entities. Yeah, that was her speciality. Alien entities and tragic alien loves. 

Wiping her hands on her shorts, she reached the lip of the next cave and had to bend down slightly. This one was deeper, she could see almost immediately just by the fact that it was far darker. The mouth of the cave sloped down into that darkness. 

She got out her radio. '' Feretti?'' 

'' Major?'' 

'' I'm at the mouth of the cave directly above you. It's deeper than the others. I'm gonna check it out.'' 

'' Okay, Major. Keep radio contact.'' 

'' Sure.'' 

She kept her head lowered and her flashlight in her hand, sweeping the area in front of her, looking for anything - the reflection of a nocturnal animal's eyes, metal, anything that was out of place in these seemingly natural environment. 

The incline grew steeper quite quickly and she found she was having to steady herself against the wall, turning slightly sideways to take the descent better. It was going to be a heavy climb back up. She wondered, as her eyes swept the dark stone, what they were doing back at the SGC. Wondered if the other Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill were getting on. If Matthew had woken up. What colour his eyes were, what he was like, what he was good at. 

Imagine, her with a son. She must have been twenty-five or six when he'd been born, which seemed a tad young to her. She'd put off marriage and children for her career, and she didn't regret that. She still had time, after all. And, frankly, bringing a child into a world which could be overcome with parasites at any given moment wasn't quite the best situation she had in mind. When the war was over - in that dim, distant future - maybe she could... 

She stopped suddenly and looked down. Was it just her, or was the incline rather... step like in appearance? 

She flicked her flashlight up and down rapidly. Sure enough, the ground appeared to be arranged in slabs not unlike a staircase. 

Time to call in Feretti, she decided. This could constitute as evidence of alien activity. She pulled out her radio. '' Feretti.'' She paused, listening to static. Then she tried again, aiming the flashlight back up where she had descended, still looking at the stone steps. '' SG-2? Major Feretti, Captain Fellows?'' 

Probably the depth and the thickness of rock was blocking out the radio signal. She sighed; she would have to go back. 

Something cold and familiar pressed itself to the nape of her neck. Bizarrely, for an instant, Sam thought of Jonas Hanson - why, she had no idea. 

'' Don't move.'' 

English. American, to be precise. Who the hell was down here with her? '' I won't.'' 

'' Where is he?'' 

He? He who? She wanted to turn around, but the gun in the back of her neck stayed where it was. '' Who?'' 

'' Don't pull that shit with me, Samantha. Where is he?'' 

Samantha? Now why did she... '' How do you know my name?'' 

'' Shit.'' She heard the click of a radio. '' I've got her.'' 

'' Sir, we'll have to get back to the SGF. We're already...'' 

'' I know that, Captain,'' the man hissed into his radio. Sam felt goosebumps rise on her skin. She knew that voice, she knew that voice.... _Samantha_. Only one person said her name that way. 

She was grabbed roughly by the backpack and her flashlight went crashing down onto the ground, dying out. He didn't care, didn't seem to need it, instead pulling her down, ignoring the way she was tripping all over the place. He didn't say anything. '' Um, sir?'' she tried, tentatively. 

'' Sir?'' His voice was mocking. 

'' Colonel O'Neill.'' 

'' Shut the hell up.'' 

She had that sinking feeling again. She was sure it was him. Absolutely positive. She knew him as intimately as a person could without being a lover - she knew his shape, his smell, his voice probably better than she knew her own. But she also knew he would never talk to her like that. And the SGF? That could only be the Stargate Facility. 

'' You're from an alternate reality.'' 

Suddenly, things were slip sliding into place and the resentment Sam had felt earlier gleefully made sense. 

The light came so suddenly Sam cried out, closing her eyes while trying to open them and see what was going on. 

'' Get her out of here.'' She was let go, pushed, in fact, and she stumbled into another person. 

Her hand was lifted up, moved. '' Look, Colonel, I'm not who you think I am. Ah!'' The shock was a surprise, but by then the light had dimmed and she was beginning to see again. Blinking furiously, wiping away at tears that had run down her cheeks, she looked around her. She could recognise those walls anywhere. The colour. The lighting. Those faces. 

'' Okay, before you say anything,'' she began quickly, holding up her hands, '' I'm really not the person you think I am. I mean, I am, but I'm not.'' Where was all her so-called intelligence when she needed it? '' The woman you're looking for isn't me. She's back at the SGC, searching for some planet.... some planet that clearly doesn't exist. I mean she must have...'' But why? _Why_, for God's sake? 

'' General, I suggest we put her in the brig.'' 

Sam looked over her shoulder and nearly gasped. What the hell was going on here? Since when did.... of course. It wasn't him. Christ, this was confusing. '' Colonel O'Neill, I'm not who you think I am,'' she said again, pleadingly. 

'' General? She's done this before.'' 

'' I have? I mean, she has?'' What was going on here? 

'' Major, you know the drill,'' General Hammond sighed. 

Two SFs approached Sam. Her backpack was released, her hands were cuffed behind her. Whatever protests she uttered were met with blank looks from all those around her. The looks Colonel O'Neill was giving her sent chills down her spine like no Goa'uld had ever managed. Did he hate this Sam Carter? Was that possible? 

For the umpteenth time in her career at the SGC, Sam Carter was escorted to the brig, where she was locked up and left alone to stew. 

Dropping down onto the bunk, she consigned Major Carter to hell. And hoped someone would figure out what was going on. Feretti better raise hell when he got back to the SGC and reported her missing. 

Feretti... SG2.... '' Wait! Hey, come back! Come on, I can prove who I am! Go back to that planet where you found me! Hello!'' she shouted. '' SG2 is there. Major Feretti, Captain Fellows, Lieutenant Hathin and Captain Berks are there. They'll tell you what happened. Come on! Please. Someone?'' 

She looked up towards the camera appealingly. '' Give me a chance to prove who I am. Don't I deserve that?'' 

The camera didn't respond. Not that she'd expected it too. 

She rested her head against the bars, a headache beginning to thump in her temples. '' I could do with some aspirin, guys.'' 

No one came. 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 

Since her watch, along with her GDO, belt, shoelaces and cap had been removed upon her incarceration, Sam had to use her internal clock to tell the time by. In the end, when someone finally came, she decided it had been about three hours. Three hours of sitting there and wondering what the hell her other self had got her into. 

Someone came. Someone, in the form of the furious, dangerously on edge, Colonel O'Neill. 

Nervously, she sat up as he approached the bars. A set of SFs stood inside the door, guns at the ready, though what they thought she could do with loose shoes and trousers she didn't know. Level three advanced combat was nothing against three fully grown men, even though she'd damn well put up a good fight if she thought it would get her somewhere. 

No, in this case, talking seemed the best option. Daniel would be so proud. 

He rested his hands on the bars and looked at her. The muscle in his jaw ticked, ticked, ticked as he calmed himself down enough to talk. She didn't think she'd ever seen him this angry before. There were vague memories, perhaps, of that time when the computer entity had lived through her, but those images were dim and tinged with the horror of that situation. She didn't particularly like to dwell on that time. 

He had killed her then, of course. And, this time, he looked like he could kill her now. Reach inside and snap her neck. What had she done to him? 

The hairs rose up on the back of her neck, goosebumps broke out all over her skin. It was a similar feeling to the one she felt when faced with a Goa'uld. She never expected to feel it in front of her CO. 

'' Look,'' she said, '' I'm not the Samantha Carter from this reality. I'm from the reality we just left. Your Samantha Carter is back in the SGC.'' 

'' Really?'' 

He didn't sound like he believed her at all. 

'' Yes. Really. She came through her gate at about 0900 hours this morning with her son, Matthew. She claimed to have been in some caves, investigating...'' 

Colonel O'Neill laughed harshly, then stopped suddenly. '' Do you really think you can use the same spiel? That we'll fall for it again? Not this time. You're not leaving this place until you tell me where my son is.'' 

'' Holy Hannah!'' She shot upright. '' He's _your_ son?'' 

The hands clenched the bars, white knuckled. 

'' But.. I didn't know you six years ago. How old is Matthew exactly? He's six or thereabouts right? I didn't know you then. I met you just over five years ago on the second mission to Abydos. I mean, six years ago you were still married to Sara, weren't you?'' She was babbling. She was babbling in front of a man she didn't know. '' I mean, my Colonel O'Neill was... I suppose it's entirely possible we met earlier. If Apophis came through earlier or maybe I had gone on the first mission....'' 

'' Stop it.'' 

The words were uttered so coldly that Sam couldn't help but cease her panic babble. 

'' Stop it. Stop it now.'' 

She swallowed. '' What happened?'' 

'' You took him. You know that.'' 

Kidnapped him? Why would she take her own son through the Stargate? Why would she arrange this elaborate plot? '' How long ago?'' 

'' Two years.'' 

Sam's eyes fluttered closed. Oh God. '' Why? Why did she take him away?'' 

'' Because she didn't... because you didn't want me to have him.'' 

This was like drawing blood from a stone. '' Why?'' 

'' Only you can tell me that.'' 

Sam couldn't conceive any reason for her alternate self to take the Colonel's son away from him. Particularly after what had happened with his first son, Charlie. She knew only too well that children were his soft spot. You only had to see how he acted around Cassy, around her friends, the General's granddaughters, and how they responded to him to know that he was instinctively paternal. Taking his son away from him - for _two years_ - was verging on torture. How could she have done that to him? 

But then things might be different here. Her feelings for him might be different. They did say the line between love and hate was a thin one and yet... yet she still couldn't imagine hating him. Hating him enough to take his son away. Why? Why would she have done it? There had to be more to this than he was telling her. 

She looked at his hands, white knuckles pressing against skin. A wedding ring glinted on his left hand. '' Are you married? To her?'' 

He just stared at her, dark eyes filled with fury and pain - a mixture that made a lump stick in her throat. She hated to see him so upset, hated the feelings of guilt that were unconsciously rising up in her. It wasn't her fault and yet somehow it was. 

'' Sir, look, there must be physical, medical, differences between the two of us that can prove who I am. I've been a host to the Tokra, I broke my arm when I was eight, I have various scars.... I've never had a child, Colonel. I don't know if she had a natural birth or a caesarian but these things leave behind marks. If you could get Dr Fraiser to examine me. Or maybe you don't have a Dr Fraiser.'' She stopped talking, having run out of things to say. He hadn't taken his eyes off her, it was like he was trying to see into her mind. It was disturbing. '' In my reality, Colonel O'Neill is my CO. We don't.... have a relationship like you and the other Major Carter. It would be against regulations. Not that we want... well, I suppose....'' She laughed shakily, her feelings bordering on hysterical, and ran her hands through her hair. '' I mean, this is just stupid. This is the third alternate reality where we are... were... At least both of us are alive in this one, which is a change. I was beginning to think...'' 

The door opened and Daniel walked in, looking first to Colonel O'Neill, then to Sam. 

She took a step towards the bars, looking at Daniel pleadingly. '' Daniel? Are you... I'm trying to prove that I'm not who you think I am.'' 

Daniel gave her a very cold look, then turned in concern to his friend. '' Jack, maybe you could step outside for a moment?'' 

The Colonel released his grip on the bars, stepped back, but still kept his eyes on her. '' Watch her, Daniel. Don't trust a thing that comes out of her mouth.'' 

'' Oh God, Colonel......'' But he left the room swiftly. She rubbed her hands over her face, feeling miserable for him. '' Daniel, I'm really, really not who you all think I am.'' 

He approached the bars, his face still neutral. '' You have to understand - and I'm not saying you're not her at this point - that eight months ago we caught a Major Carter, brought her back and released her because her arguments were so convincing. It later turned out that we had been wrong.'' 

Ah.... shit. '' Right. Okay. But on that planet, my backup team is still there. SG-2? Major Feretti, Captain Fellows, Captain Berks and Lieutenant Hathin. Four very good men. If you haven't found them, they'll have gone back through the Stargate to Earth and will be raising hell. Someone will figure out it was a set-up, that she sent me here so you'd pick me up....'' 

Daniel's expression was still cooler than she was used to, but at least he looked interested. '' What did she look like?'' 

'' Long blonde hair, longer than mine. Fairer than mine. She was tanned, too. Dressed funny. Matthew... Daniel, are they married?'' 

'' Yes.'' 

For some reason that made her feel better. '' And how old is he, Daniel? Colonel O'Neill and I only met five years ago.'' 

'' He's five.'' 

Sam's eyebrows rose. '' So they met before we did?'' 

'' They met shortly after the first mission to Abydos.'' 

'' And they let us work in the SGC together?'' 

'' SGF,'' he corrected, watching her carefully. '' You're CO of SG-2, he's CO of SG-1, though we do a lot of combined missions.'' 

Just imagining a situation where she would not be bound by regulations was enough to boggle Sam's mind. How had this particular fork happened? '' Daniel, what happened here? Why has she run off with Matthew?'' 

'' No one knows. Just that, just over two years ago during the graveyard shift, Major Samantha Carter smuggled her son into the facility. She zatted the three men in the control room, ran a dialling program of her own design that activated the Stargate and allowed her and her son to go through but promptly wiped the memory of the computer as soon as the wormhole shut down.'' Daniel winced, reached up and pulled his glasses off before pressing his fingers to his eyes. '' Jesus, Sam, you nearly killed him.'' 

'' I didn't do anything. I would _never_ do that to him. Not... not unless I had a very, very good reason.'' 

Daniel laughed shakily. '' What reason would that be then?'' 

'' I don't know. Look, are you going to go back to that planet? Through the mirror? You can gate to Earth, catch her there. I mean, General Hammond won't let her out of the mountain....'' 

'' That's going to be a problem.'' 

'' What? Why?'' 

'' For the past year, General Hammond has gone against direct orders in letting Jack continue searching for his wife and son. This morning, he was found out. Some idiot blabbed. He's being forced into retirement. Effective immediately. We're getting a new general in and I very much doubt there'll be any more missions through the mirror.'' 

Panic had Sam running to the bars. '' No! Daniel, I can't be left here. This isn't my reality. Daniel, we've got to get back through the mirror!'' 

He was shaking his head. '' Believe me, if we could we would. Everyone's jobs are on the line here, Sam. The whole of the SGF was in on it. Hammond's retirement is saving them all from serious repercussions - God knows what they're going to do with Jack. We can't risk it Sam.''' 

'' Daniel, I don't think you understand...'' 

'' I've been there too, Sam! I know exactly how you're feeling, probably better than anyone else. Jesus, Sam, I'm really sorry but there's just no way. The mirror is already on its way to Area 51 to be destroyed.'' 

'' Daniel. God, Daniel, I can't.... I can't be here. I'm not her...'' she gasped desperately, clinging to the bars. A future was spreading out in front of her, bleak and horrifying. 

'' But that's the thing, Sam. You are her. You are exactly like her. I don't know what we're going to do. Janet's going to give you a physical to confirm who you are. The SFs are going to escort you to the infirmary. I suggest you don't... try anything.'' He sighed and turned away, knocked on the glass of the door, leaving Sam to her thoughts. 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 

The briefing was uncomfortable. No, not uncomfortable. Incredibly painful. It was held in the General's office as he packed, with Janet, Daniel, Colonel O'Neill and Sam all standing in a semicircle around the desk. Sam almost wished for a chair so she could sit down; she was feeling incredibly weary. This was all too much, too great, to take in at once. 

'' This Major Carter has the protein marker left from Jolinar, the naquadah in her blood, but it appears that Jolinar entered her through the mouth, not the back of the neck as Jolinar was forced to in this reality. There are other minor differences - Major Carter's left arm has not been broken in the last three years, nor does she have the scar from the Ninian spear that penetrated her left thigh.'' Dr Fraiser looked down at her clipboard, then back at her commander. '' Sir, she really isn't our Major Carter.'' 

Sam felt a brief flash of triumph, quickly dashed when she realised it simply wasn't important anymore. 

'' So my wife and son are on another Earth somewhere.'' 

General Hammond closed his eyes briefly. '' Son, I can't tell you how sorry I am.'' 

'' General, you did the best you could, and it was far more than we should have asked of you in the first place,'' Daniel murmured, glancing at Colonel O'Neill briefly to judge his reaction. But the Colonel's face was carefully shuttered. 

The General didn't seem to know what to say - for once lost for words. He turned to Sam. '' Major, I'm truly sorry for what happened to you. You seemed to have been placed in an impossible situation, and I can't help but feel guilty.'' 

'' It's not your fault, sir,'' Sam managed. She sucked in a breath, hoping it would quake the nerves in her stomach. '' Does anyone else know that I was brought through the mirror?'' 

'' The whole of the SGF, I imagine. Rumour does get around quickly. But as far as everyone else outside is aware, you are the other Major Carter.'' 

'' Oh, great. That'll make for a smooth adjustment.'' Finally, Sam gave in - she went to sit on one of the chairs that had been pushed against a wall. She lowered her face to her cupped hands and wished she could cry. '' What am I supposed to do?'' 

'' The situation will be explained. I shall make an announcement before I officially leave. Then... it's really up to General Thomas.'' 

'' Thomas?'' Sam couldn't but help pick up the name. As a General's daughter herself, as an air force brat in general, she tended to know a few more of the top brass than your average soldier. '' I've heard of him. I think my father.... oh, God, my _father_.'' Mark. Her niece and nephew. Oh God. Cassie. Janet. Daniel. Teal'c. _Jack_. '' How can this have happened to me?'' she whispered, pressing her hands against her face as her grief punched her in the gut. '' No. No.'' She shook her head and stood up. '' No. I will not let this happen to me. I will not be stuck here. There has to be another way.'' 

'' Major Carter, there is no longer anything I can do. That anyone can do. I'm sorry.'' 

The finality of that last 'sorry' had tears filling Sam's eyes. Swiftly, she turned and looked at the bare walls, sucking her cheeks in and biting down hard. Carters didn't cry. Carters certainly didn't cry in front of their superior officers. 

'' Sir, perhaps it would be best if Major Carter came home with me,'' Janet said softly. 

'' Certainly. I think it would do everyone good to get out of the base for the rest of the day. General Thomas will be arriving tomorrow. Dismissed. Colonel, if I could have a word?'' 

Sam felt a warm hand on her back and she let Janet lead her unnecessarily out of the office and down the hallway. 

'' I can't imagine how this is for you, Sam, but things will start to look up soon, I'm sure. Your father is still here, in a way. Your brother and his children. I know Cassie will be pleased to see you. She's mercifully been kept out of all of this....'' 

'' But they're not mine, are they?'' 

Janet inclined her head. '' And you're not ours. Which, at the moment, is a good thing, believe me.'' 

'' That's not very comforting, Janet.'' 

Dr Fraiser sighed and coaxed Sam into the elevator. '' No. I don't suppose it is.'' 


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three** (Chain Reaction) 

'' For the time being,'' General Thomas repeated, his eyebrows raised. 

Sam stared at him. She was remembering what her father had said about General Thomas. He was an ass. And that was the polite version. 

'' Sir, with respect, in my reality....'' 

He didn't even have the decency to look up at her when he responded: '' Major, I don't care if you and Colonel O'Neill were step brother and sister in your reality. You are in this reality now and in the interest of security you will have to take Colonel O'Neill's wife's place. That means moving back into their marital home. You can start divorce proceedings at once, if that is your wish. Dismissed.'' 

Sam snapped her mouth shut and she quickly saluted - remembering with clarity the informal relationship she'd had with General Hammond that meant she didn't have to follow exact procedure - and left the room, just refraining from slamming the door. 

She marched back to her lab where she did slam the door behind her. Then she dropped down onto her stool and buried her face in her hands. She was too angry to cry. 

A tentative knock came ten minutes later. It could only be one person. '' Come in, Daniel.'' 

'' How did you know it was me?'' 

She managed to smile, pulled her hands away from her face. '' For me?'' she asked, nodding to the coffee in his hand. 

'' Of course.'' He leaned against the bench, cradling the mug between his hands. It was achingly familiar to the position her had been in when talking to her, only moments before the klaxons had rang and _that _woman had stepped into her reality. '' What did the General have to say?'' 

'' You know how the Colonel was in a really filthy mood this morning?'' He'd told her to fuck off. He'd never sworn at her before. 

'' More so than usual? Then, yes.'' 

'' I imagine the General,'' she said the word venomously, '' had just informed him that I'm expected to move back into their house. For the sake of security.'' 

Daniel closed his eyes and scrunched up his face. '' Oh, God, poor Jack. And you, of course.'' 

She rolled her eyes. With Daniel, in this reality, Jack always came first. '' Yes. Poor us. I hope he... they... we have a spare bedroom.'' 

'' Two.'' 

'' Really? Oh God, Daniel, it's going to be so awkward. I thought I just could live on the base...'' 

''... forever? And never see the daylight?'' 

She decided to ignore him. '' No. Until I could, I don't know, rent some place else.'' 

'' With what? You have a joint bank account with Jack. You have a house together. Cars together. Retirement plans together.'' He didn't, thankfully, add that they also had a child together. 

'' Way to be comforting, Daniel.'' She sipped her coffee thoughtfully. So she was moving in with a man who couldn't speak to her without seeing his betraying wife, the kidnapper of his son. It would make for really interesting living. '' Will you help me? Move in, I mean.'' 

He seemed to think this was funny. '' What? Help you move all the stuff you've accumulated over the last five days?'' 

She glared at him. She didn't particularly want to tell him that she liked having him in between her and Colonel O'Neill. She could take care of herself. Just not when it came to the Colonel. Even back in her own reality, Daniel had always been there to suffuse the tension. To sleep between them at night, snoring softly in his sleeping bag, unaware that sometimes the two people on either side of him were lying awake. 

'' Of course I will. I could stay the night, too.'' 

'' Don't you have to ask the Colonel first?'' 

'' He already asked me.'' Daniel smirked. '' Ordered me, actually. I don't think he wants to be left alone with you either.'' 

'' Oh that just... great.'' She looked down at her - as in, the other her - plans for a mobile dialling device, something she had been working on herself in her spare time, what little there was of it. '' General Thomas said.... he said we could file for divorce.'' 

Daniel frowned. '' It's an option, though it's not like you're actually married.'' 

'' Exactly. I'm not his wife. How can we file for divorce?'' 

He shrugged slightly. '' Sam, I don't know. It's something you and he are going to have talk about.'' 

Sam sighed. There was nothing worse than trying to talk to the Colonel when he didn't want to. Avoidance was something he knew a great deal about. '' SG-1 have got a mission scheduled, haven't they?'' 

'' Yup. First proper one in months. The MALP recordings were fascinating - the remains of what looks like Classical Greek architecture, including some wonderfully preserved statuary that could possibly prove a little theory of mine.'' 

Despite herself, she couldn't help but be carried away by his enthusiasm. '' What's that then?'' 

He looked a little sheepish. '' That some of the oldest Greek sculptors were aliens.'' 

Sam tipped back her head and laughed properly for the first time in nearly a week. 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 

Sam picked the spare room that was furthest away from the Colonel. It was childish, she knew, but she couldn't bare the thought of knowing their room was next door to hers. Besides, the room she had picked had a nicer view. It was decorated prettily, all in shades of cream and white with a quilt she recognised as her grandmother's on the bed. The furniture was antique and she thought she recognised the dresser from the Colonel's bedroom (which she had been in, perhaps, twice in her life). 

She was almost insatiably curious to know what their bedroom looked like. Hers and the Colonels. Where the other she and the other Colonel O'Neill had made love, possibly conceived their child.... Holy Hannah. She and Colonel O'Neill had a child together. 

Only when she was very, very drunk did she consider having a child, children, with Colonel O'Neill. When she was very, very drunk, regulations became rather less important, Goa'uld invasion seemed significantly more unlikely, and her only really pressing concern was easing over five years of sexual tension. It wasn't unusual for women to go for a long time without sex, but, seriously, she was reaching born-again virgin status here. And losing it to Colonel O'Neill (who, bizarrely, always remained Colonel O'Neill in her drunken thoughts) was far more appealing. Then they'd usually get engaged, married, start a family, while still working together on SG-1 and saving the planet every other week. 

Naturally, she had to drink some serious alcohol to reach that stage and for the past year she had been noticeably teetotal. It had been safer that way. Her drunken thoughts always tended to spur on heated dreams for months afterwards, which left her feeling embarrassed and faintly dirty when she was faced with him at work. 

Right now, he was in the kitchen downstairs, talking to Daniel with the radio on in the background. Some classical station. They had left her alone to unpack her meagre belongings and she was in no hurry to join them. Instead, she thought she'd potter around the top of the house as quietly as possible, checking out the rooms (not theirs, though), of which there seemed to be a lot of. She knew the Colonel was surprisingly good with money, and she supposed with a joint income they could manage to afford such a large house, but, really, four bedrooms and two offices upstairs? Not to mention the two en-suite bathrooms and the larger, family bathroom. 

She opened the door at the end of the hallway and saw that rough wooden steps led further up. She checked behind her once, just in case the Colonel came upstairs and thought she was prying (which, technically, she was), and then softly walked up the steps. 

Unsurprisingly, it led to the unused, by potentially usable, loft - a large expanse of dusty wooden floorboards and wooden raftings. She found herself smiling slightly when she saw the balcony. Of course - where else was the Colonel going to put his telescope? 

She wandered over, bare feet no doubt picking up the dust that layered the floor, and slid open the doors, stepping out and leaning against the railings. It was a beautiful house with beautiful homily rooms. She could so easily imagine a family living there - which, she supposed, was part of the problem. 

It wasn't fair on her heart to put her in this type of situation. _Nobody_ should be put in this situation, forced to watch the destruction another person had wrought on what should have been a perfect life. 

There were pictures all over the house of Matthew and his father. There were none of her, and she knew enough of the Colonel to know that he would have hidden those away, if he hadn't destroyed them already. At least now she'd found out - Matthew had brown eyes. Just like his father. And from what Daniel had told her, Matthew's resemblance to his dead older brother was striking. Yes, Charlie had died in this reality too. Shot himself with his father's gun. Sent his father into a decline that he'd only begun to emerge out of when he'd met the then Captain Samantha Carter. And just when his life was looking up, a new wife, a son, a career with prospects and honour, it was all taken away from him. Again. 

The view no longer filled Sam with admiration. She stepped back from the railings and went back downstairs. 

The evening progressed. The Colonel drank steadily, the bottle of Jack Daniel's growing lighter until it was nearly empty. He could certainly take his alcohol, Sam thought, as she watched him clear up the plates from the meal with Daniel helping. If she hadn't seen him drink his way down the bottle, she would never have guessed. 

She took herself off to bed at ten, thanking the Colonel formally for dinner and giving Daniel a quick hug. He held her close for a second extra, only to whisper in her ear, '' Lock your door.'' 

Colour suffused her entire body and she scurried off. She did as Daniel had suggested, wondering at what Daniel had been afraid of exactly as she flung her clothes off and pulled on her jammies. 

Nothing happened that night. The door handle didn't wiggle, no one paused outside her door. She heard Daniel call 'night, Sam' through the door at some late hour but the Colonel didn't say or do a thing. 

She decided she was clearly disturbed if she found that fact disappointing. 

In the morning, there was mail for her. Mrs. O'Neill. She was thankful that neither the Colonel or Daniel had woken as early as she had because they would have seen the goofy smile that spread over her face. 

'' Dammit, Carter, get a grip,'' she told herself firmly. 

She put the mail on the breakfast bar, deciding against opening it for the moment. She piled the Colonel's mail separately and hoped he would suggest she open her own. Then she looked through the cupboards. She really wasn't much of a cook, mainly because she'd never really tried, never really had to. She ate on base when she could, got takeaway the few nights she was at home. She'd learnt her lesson not to keep much food in the house since fairly early on at the SGC, when they'd been delayed off-world and she'd returned to find there were things breeding in her cupboards. 

Children's cereal seemed to be the only option that she could manage without having to actually cook anything and she pulled out the Froot Loops, remembering all the times he had eaten them at the table with her and Daniel. 

A noise behind her had her spinning around in horror, only to find the Colonel was standing there, also in his nightwear. They looked at one and another in embarrassment. Sam had thought, it being only half past five and all (she had gone to bed very early), that no one would be up and it would be okay to wander around in her jammies for breakfast. 

Stupidly, she offered him the cereal. '' Froot Loops?'' 

He nodded, eyeing her with deep seated suspicion. '' I'll get the bowls and spoons,'' he said eventually. 

She supposed that meant she'd have to get the milk. Easy enough, she decided, her eyes latching on the refrigerator. She took the milk out, smiling slightly at the nearly empty shelves, and took it back to the breakfast bar where he had set out her bowl and spoon. They sat opposite each other, feet carefully tucked in under their stools so as to avoid any bodily contact with each other. 

They ate in silence, neither looking at each other. The clock on the wall was the loudest thing in the kitchen, ticking away steadily. 

Surprisingly, it was the Colonel who broke that silence. '' Sam has a pair of jammies like that.'' 

She looked down. They were just blue and white checked flannel, an exact copy of a pair she had at home. Janet had bought them for her on their necessity shopping trip. '' I suppose we have the same taste.'' 

He nodded slowly, considering her collar. '' Did she look well?'' 

Did that mean he was still concerned about her? '' Um... yes. She was tanned. Looked like she'd been somewhere hot.'' 

'' She'd been planet hopping for most of the two years she'd been away.'' 

'' How do you know?'' 

'' Because we were always one or two planets behind her. Matt... did Matt look okay?'' 

She nodded quickly, knowing this would be most important to him. '' Yeah. He looked like he was taking Stargate travel with ease.'' 

That made him smile a little, at least, even if it was tinged with bitterness. '' I suppose it's only fitting that our son would be the first Tauri child to go through the gate.'' 

_Our son. _

Sam got this funny feeling low in her stomach and unconsciously a hand went to hover over it. She cleared her throat. '' How did you meet?'' 

He stirred the pieces left in his bowl absently. '' Some function a mate of mine conned me into going. She was wearing a very small red dress.'' He smiled retrospectively. '' Knocked me sideways. I never saw it coming. I was in love with her by the end of the evening.'' 

Sam swallowed hard. She'd never heard her Colonel talk anything like this. And, consequently, she didn't know what to say. 

'' Jacob's coming.'' 

She shook her head at the change of conversation. '' Sorry?'' 

'' Your father. I just got a call on my mobile. He's been out of touch for the past six months and he's coming to see you.'' 

'' Oh.'' 

Shortly after that, he put his bowl and spoon in the dishwasher and left her without saying a word. 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 

Some things you never grew out of. Needing parental comfort was one of them, even if, technically, the parent wasn't yours. 

Jacob Carter drew out of their embrace and smiled at her fondly. '' You look terrible.'' 

'' Thanks, Dad.'' She decided it wouldn't be best to tease him about his Tokra clothing. Him not really being her father and all. 

He smiled slightly and put his arm about her shoulder. '' Let's go to the commissary. We need to talk. General,'' he said frostily, nodding towards General Thomas. 

'' General,'' Thomas replied, equally frostily. That coldness was transferred to Sam, his disapproval radiating from his person. General Thomas had made clear, upon Jacob's arrival, that personal visits were to be restricted. The unspoken reasoning behind this was that it was a waste of money. 

If she ever got home, Sam was going to grab hold of General Hammond and kiss him. 

Not if, when, Sam told herself as she walked out of the gate room and towards the elevator. 

'' Just how difficult has he made things for you?'' Jacob asked softly as Sam led them to a relatively secluded table in the middle of the commissary, bypassing the drinks due to the need to talk. 

She said the first thing that popped into her head. '' He's made me move in with Colonel O'Neill.'' 

Jacob winced. '' Ah.'' 

'' Security reasons. Suggested I could start divorce proceedings for a marriage I never committed myself too.'' 

'' Oh, Sam...'' 

'' I suppose Colonel O'Neill's taking it remarkably well. Considering. Sometimes he even speaks to me civilly.'' She looked down at the table, refused to see the pity in her father's eyes. _Her_ father's eyes. 

'' He believes Sam took Matt away from him out of spite.'' 

For the first time, Sam heard a hint of doubt in someone's voice. She looked up sharply. '' Spite? Why? Were they having... problems?'' 

'' Not as far as I was aware. I thought they had a rock solid marriage.'' Jacob was still talking softly, his eyes moving from her face and around the room, as if watching out for eavesdroppers. '' Sam, I know you're not her, but can you think of any reason, any reason at all why she would take off like that?'' 

'' Offhand, no. I'm not her. I've not experienced all the things she has. The only thing I can come up with was if....'' She trailed off uncomfortably. 

'' Sam?'' 

'' Was if Matthew was under threat. Here. On Earth. There is no other reason I can see behind her risking taking him planet hopping.'' 

Jacob Carter smiled, showing his teeth and the corners of his eyes crinkling. '' You know, that's the conclusion I came too.'' He patted her hand. '' Carter's don't run away. They don't quit.'' 

How many times had she heard that before? When she'd been thrown by that horse at age six? When she'd taken up the damn flute and had resolutely played it all the way through high school. And she remembered those words when she was working her ass off getting the Colonel off Edora. '' She ran away this time.'' 

'' Yes - and she must have had a damn good reason for doing so.'' 

Sam felt inordinately warm suddenly - finally, finally someone believed in her. Her father. His faith in her knew no bounds. God that was good to know. '' But what? What could possibly have happened?'' 

'' I've been trying to read up on the mission reports in the months before Sam disappeared but since I've only been able to come back three times since she left that's proven difficult. She must have been planning it for some time - the programme was complicated, and you know the schedules for off-world travel and shifts change all the time.'' 

She was nodding, agreeing with him, her mind running over options. A programme like that... she could only have worked on it after hours, couldn't have saved it on the computer here, and didn't have the information available at home. Not to mention the fact that the rota for off-world travel didn't come out months in advance. 

'' Right. I'll need to get my hands on their reports. SG-2,'' she reminded herself, shaking her head. 

'' You weren't on SG-2?'' 

'' SG-1.'' 

'' With O'Neill?'' 

She nodded absently, her mind still toying with the logistics on subtly reading up on her other self. 

'' You had no relationship with him, then?'' 

That brought her back. '' No,'' she said sharply. '' Regulations don't permit....'' Damn, she was blushing. 

Jacob smiled slightly. '' You know, there has been one other alternate reality incident here and I happened to be present at the time. You and O'Neill came through, though he was actually a General. You were pregnant, engaged to be married after their World War Three ended. You argued over the briefing table and then I walked in on them making up in your lab. This was about two years after you got married and it was the first time I allowed myself to think that your marriage was right for you.'' 

'' World War Three?'' she managed weakly, the image of herself and Colonel O'Neill 'making up' burned into her eyelids. She'd watched him kiss other hers before, of course. 

'' Apparently the Stargate technology was something worth fighting for. Evacuations of military personnel had taken place to the Alpha site, you and O'Neill included. The discovery of the mirror was an accident.'' 

'' So Major Carter was there for this.'' 

Jacob nodded. '' Yes.'' 

'' Was the mirror destroyed?'' 

'' As far as I'm aware.'' 

'' So was ours.'' She tapped her fingers on the desk. '' I wonder how many mirrors are out there.'' 


	4. Chapter Four

AN: The additions to the chapter title (like Proving Ground, for this one) have no real relevance other than the fact that I thought it would be neat to have chapter titles like the episode titles. ****

****

**Chapter Four** (Proving Ground) 

Sitting up in bed, at three in the morning with the lamp beside her burning away, Sam yawned once again, rubbed her burning eyes and continued reading. Every time the words blurred in front of her eyes, she blinked several times, wiggled to get rid of the ache in her back, and started again. Any moment now, she would reach the point of no return and fall asleep in this position - and that would give her hell in the morning. 

Sam blinked, letting her eyes close to rest them a moment, and when she opened her eyes again, three hours had passed and she needed the toilet. 

Creepy. 

She pushed the reports down her legs, rolled the duvet back and headed for the door. Had she chosen the spare room next door to his room, Sam would have had an en-suite bathroom and wouldn't have to worry about bumping into him in the middle of the night. But that hadn't happened yet, probably because he was avoiding her too. They'd already managed it so their morning routines didn't clash. He got up half an hour later than she did, giving her time to wash, dress, eat breakfast and shoot down to the base before he'd even started his shower. It was all in the timing. 

This time. This one damn time, Sam wasn't so lucky. She pulled open the door and nearly screamed. 

'' Holy Hannah,'' she gasped, her fingers reaching for a weapon that wasn't there. 

Colonel O'Neill froze in the doorway, dark eyes black in the dim light of the hallway. '' Why aren't you asleep? Your lights been on all night.'' 

Instinctively, she half closed the door, blocking the sight of her bed. She didn't want him finding out about the reports, her investigation into his wife's disappearance. God knew how he would react. '' I just fell asleep with it on, that's all,'' she lied easily. 

'' You were reading. I could hear pages turning.'' 

Huh. '' Then you must have been awake all night too. What's the big deal?'' 

He narrowed his eyes. '' Nothing. Except that you've done it three nights in a row. Ever since your dad came home.'' 

'' He's not actually my dad,'' she said through her teeth, '' and if you must know, he pointed out that there are differences in mine and her pasts and that I ought to associate myself with them. I hadn't really thought about it before, since SG-2 have been grounded while I acclimatise.'' Well that sounded pretty realistic. 

He put a hand on the door jamb, leaned into it. He took up nearly all of the doorway, she realised and was wearing.... very sexy black shorts. And a t-shirt, of course. But those shorts.... oh boy.... 

Seriously, looking at him was like getting punched in the gut, he was _that_ attractive. 

Oh boy indeed. 

Mind. Gutter. Out. 

'' Don't you think working on this at six in the morning is a little excessive?'' He was still suspicious. 

'' Actually, I fell asleep at three, and when else am I supposed to do it?'' 

'' I don't know... maybe at work?'' the Colonel said sarcastically. 

Hah. With the way General Thomas had her working? He'd got to be kidding! '' Look, Colonel, I appreciate your concern......'' 

'' I'm not concerned,'' he interrupted rudely. '' You're keeping me awake.'' 

Yeah, right, you bastard. '' My pages turning too loud for you?'' 

'' No. Your light is shining directly under my door. I can't sleep unless it's totally dark.'' 

Now that was a big fat lie. Her Colonel O'Neill could sleep anywhere. All he had to do was lie down and close his eyes. Though she'd only really seen him sleep off-world, and he didn't really sleep. He kind of dozed, always with half an ear listening. 

'' Fine. I'll make sure I turn off the lights. Now, can I go to the bathroom, please?'' 

'' Whatever.'' He turned around and walked back to his room. He didn't slam the door, though she could see by the way his shoulders were tensed that he was just aching to do so. 

Making as much noise in the bathroom as possible (turning the taps on extra hard and flushing the toilet twice), Sam wondered if he acted like that whenever he was angry. Would make for an interesting marriage, she thought, knowing only too well her response to such childishness would be, well, equally childish. She did slam the bathroom door, then her own bedroom door, before she piled all the reports together and shoved them in her briefcase. Or, rather, Daniel's spare briefcase. 

Then she lay in bed, wide awake, until her alarm went off. 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 

SG-2's sixth mission was a mud bath. They completed their objectives, no problem, but as they trudged back to the Stargate, Sam glanced back at her bedraggled team and nearly laughed. 

Captain Hennersey was covered in mud from head to toe, literally. The only white bit about her were the whites of her eyes, blinking furiously at the globs of mud that were dropping down from her hair. She had lost her hat early on in the mud slide and was taking things remarkably calmly. 

Lieutenant Thake, on the other hand, had his jaw clenched, his hat pulled down over his eyebrows, and was muttering to himself about local customs of alien planets that insisted strangers be 'cleansed' upon leaving. He was moving stiffly with the cold, his shoulders hunched to prevent any mud from sliding down under his waterproofs. 

The only person who had avoided the 'cleansing' was Dr Hadley, the linguist. He had been walking behind the team, chatting to one of the locals and had realised too late what they had in store for them. He'd called out moments before the mud slide started and his three other team mates were drenched in reddish-brown mud. He had only just finished apologising profusely. 

Just as Sam reached the dialling device, it started to rain. 

Again. 

'' Kill me,'' Thake muttered. 

Everyone else grinned. 

'' This must be doing wonders for my skin,'' Hennersey said, trying not to open her mouth too much. 

'' Ooh, just what I wanted. Baby soft skin,'' Thake said sarcastically. 

Hennersey's dimples peeped through, barely, the mud. '' Your wife will be thrilled.'' 

This raised a tiny smile. '' I could probably convince her to take a bath with me.'' 

'' Too much information, Ben,'' Dr Hadley complained, dialling the co-ordinates for home. 

Sam engaged the GDO, smiling to herself. She rather liked _her_ team. And they were coping well with her replacing their old leader. She hadn't had a cross word from them, when she knew everyone considered the previous Major Carter to be a betrayer. 

'' Let's go home guys. Warm water, soap, change of clothes. We'll all feel much better.'' 

'' Thank God.'' 

'' Amen to that.'' 

'' Gotta love base showers.'' 

General Thomas's mouth did not twitch when they arrived back. He did raise his eyebrows, however, and managed to look even more disapproving than usual. '' Briefing in an hour. Showers and infirmary. Dismissed.'' 

They nodded, saluted, and made their squishy way out towards the shower room, with officers throwing themselves out of their way good-naturedly. 

'' I'm so glad SG-1 weren't around to witness that,'' Hennersey sighed. '' This is usually their milieu.'' 

Sam smiled. She was glad too. But, obviously, for an entirely different reason. 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 

Sam was still discovering bits of mud later that evening, as she worked in her lab. She checked the clock one last time before she decided enough was enough and she would have to get something to eat. Just because SG-1 were a couple of hours late didn't mean anything. And there were plenty of people on hand to deal with them if something had, so she could go right down to the commissary, grab something to eat... 

Why weren't her feet moving? 

Almost as if they were reading her mind, the klaxons started clanging. 

'' **Unauthorised offworld activation!**'' 

_Now_ her feet started moving. 

If General Thomas was surprised to see her, he didn't say anything. Thank God. It was well within his rights to have her removed from the control room. 

'' Receiving SG-1's IDC, sir.'' 

'' Medics to the gate room!'' 

'' Open the iris.'' 

Eyes trained on that circle of energy, Sam didn't realise her breath was being held. God, was this what it was like for her? The other her? Waiting for her husband to return? 

Colonel O'Neill stepped through the gate, walking straight, not a limp or a bloody limb in sight. Behind him came Daniel, Captain Boyd and Major Green. 

'' You're late, SG-1!'' General Thomas shouted through the microphone. 

The Colonel shrugged and raised his hands to the side. 

'' Report to the infirmary. Briefing at 2100.'' 

The three military personnel saluted, though Colonel O'Neill's couldn't really be called a salute. Daniel raised a hand half-heartedly and was already walking towards the doors, chatting away to Captain Boyd as Green went ahead with his CO. 

General Thomas finally looked at her. '' Was there something that you wanted, Major Carter?'' 

'' No, sir. Sorry, sir.'' She hurried away, wincing. 

Sam studiously avoided the infirmary, and the corridor where Colonel O'Neill's office was located. In fact, she decided to finally head to the commissary and eat a substantial meal, so that by the time she got out, SG-1 would be halfway through their briefing and she could drive home. 

It was a good plan, right up until she walked back into her laboratory to get her things and found both Daniel and the Colonel in there already. 

'' Er, hi. That was a quick briefing,'' she managed. '' I was just about to head on home.'' 

Daniel looked at Colonel O'Neill and it was suddenly very clear that Daniel was nervous and the colonel was pissed off. '' Sam, we were wondering if we could have a word with you.'' 

Uh oh. 

'' Sure. Go ahead,'' she said casually. 

'' Major Green goes on paternity leave as of tomorrow.'' 

Oh shit. 

'' Yes?'' 

'' And General Thomas thought.... thought....'' 

She closed her eyes. '' Please be kidding.'' 

Colonel O'Neill snorted. '' Apparently, he has a replacement for you lined up already. You're back on SG-1, Major.'' 

No. She couldn't do this. She couldn't see him every day, couldn't go home with him, couldn't come to work with him. This just wasn't _fair_. '' What? Does he have it in for us or something?'' 

'' I'm sure that's not it. It's just that, well, you're not married anymore and Sam's the leading Stargate expert in the SGF. SG-1 is the flagship team after all, and if you weren't, hadn't been, er, married, then she would have been on SG-1 in the first.... place,'' Daniel said weakly, giving both of them pitying looks. 

'' Right,'' she sighed, frankly not having the energy to argue any more, '' in that case, I think I'll go home. Hard day and all.'' 

'' Yeah, we heard about the mud slide.'' 

Sam managed a smile. '' Thought you might have.'' 

'' There were footprints from the Stargate to the showers,'' Daniel said, tentatively smiling at Colonel O'Neill. 

To be fair, the Colonel was at least trying not to look so stern. She recognised the signs of when he was making an effort to be polite. He'd never had to make an effort to be polite to her before, thought. At least not after the first few weeks of knowing each other. 

Perhaps that was it. Perhaps she had to prove herself to him once again. It hadn't occurred to her before. Putting aside the fact that he had been married to her counterpart, Colonel O'Neill didn't give his trust easily. It had to be earned. She'd earned it with her Colonel O'Neill over five years ago. She would have to start anew with this one. 

'' Who's replacing me?'' 

'' Some new guy. Jack? Do you know anything?'' 

Colonel O'Neill shook his head. '' I'm out of the loop on this one. Deliberately, I imagine. I can only think that the new guy will be 2IC of the base before long.'' 

'' What?'' Daniel and Sam exclaimed. 

'' It makes sense, doesn't it?'' He lowered his voice considerably and unconsciously Sam and Daniel moved forward, aware of the security cameras on them. '' I've seen it happen before. A new CO moves in, he wants to have a 2IC he can trust. He can't get rid of me outright, so instead he replaces SG-2's leader.'' 

'' He can't just replace you,'' Sam pointed out. 

'' No, but he could force me into retirement. Again.'' 

Holy Hannah. That hadn't occurred to her before. General Hammond, after all, had been forced into retirement, ensuring that everyone else wouldn't take the blame. But knowing Colonel O'Neill's reputation, his lack of respect for authority figures like General Thomas and his general attitude... he could so easily be given choice between retirement or dishonourable discharge for so many things. How many times had General Hammond covered up the illegal actions of SG-1? General Thomas sure as hell wasn't going to be so forgiving. 

'' Well, you'll just have to be careful,'' Sam said eventually, giving her CO a stern look. '' Think before you speak and act. We can't lose you to some minion of General Thomas's.'' 

The smile on his face became less bitter at the disgust in her voice. '' You sound like the voice of experience.'' 

'' General Hammond was forced into retirement once before and his replacement, General Vidrine, had me making a naquadah bomb and sending it through the Stargate. We nearly blew up a chunk of the planet.'' She mock shuddered. '' And he split up SG-1. Then there was the time when you.... Never mind.'' 

'' Have there been a lot of differences in your lives?'' Daniel wanted to know. 

Sam nodded and ran her fingers through her hair. This was one particular thing that was driving her up the wall. She had hoped there would be more professional similarities, but it wasn't the case. Her research was slow going. '' Virtually everything.'' 

'' If your memory's as good as... Sam's... maybe you should make a list of all the planets you've been too. Particularly those that could offer us technological advantages.'' 

Her brow furrowed in confusion. '' I've already done that. It was one of the first things General Thomas ordered me to do. You haven't seen it?'' 

He shook his name wearily. 

She wondered how long this had been going on. She felt bad for not noticing that he was being slowly and surely shoved out of the loop. '' I've got a copy.'' She moved to her laptop swiftly and opened up the file, shaking her head as she did it. Her printer spewed out the paper swiftly and she handed it to Colonel O'Neill. '' In the future....'' she began, but trailed off. 

He folded up the piece of paper and tucked it into a pocket. '' Anything you give to him, give to me. I am your CO now, after all.'' 

Oh goodie. 


	5. Chapter Five

AN: Right, here's the next chapter. Um, there's kind of a convoluted part in it - I won't say what at this point - so just go with it. Thanks to the peeps that already reviewed - I'm really flattered and this time it didn't take me three weeks to get up the courage to actually read the reviews. ****

****

**Chapter Five** (The Enemy Within) 

'' Yes, sir.'' 

Colonel O'Neill nodded and went off with Daniel, leaving Sam and Captain Boyd behind. They smiled awkwardly at each other. Boyd was a friend of the Colonel's - had been assigned to the SGF under the Colonel's recommendation - and he was a nice guy. Sam clearly recalled how they had lost Henry Boyd back in her reality - the wormhole and the screen with his terrified face on it. Every time she looked at the captain, she recalled that screen. 

It was difficult to maintain a conversation with a man who was right now being pulled apart like spaghetti in her own reality. 

'' So, in your reality, you and Colonel O'Neill....'' 

Why did every single person ask her this question? Was it so unbelievable that they weren't married/engaged/together? 

'' No,'' she began impatiently, '' we weren't married, we're not together, he's my CO, I'm his 2IC. Frat regs.'' 

Boyd looked a little sheepish. '' Sorry. Bet you get that a lot.'' 

Mentally, she sighed. That was the third time she had taken it out on someone just for asking a simple question. '' You could say that.'' 

Both of them looked to where the Colonel and Daniel had gone. Daniel had insisted upon seeing a specific room in a specific ruin and the Colonel had seen no reason to drag Boyd and Sam along. They had been walking all day, after all. 

Slowly, Sam and Boyd set up camp. Frankly, she was a little tired. Her sleeping patterns had been completely blown over the past couple of weeks, what with settling in to SG-1 (again), working on her own private project and trying to get along with the Colonel, both at work and at home. Unsurprisingly, work was easier. It was all a matter of 'yes sir' and 'no sir'. At home, she felt awkward calling him 'sir' and 'colonel', and even more awkward calling him 'Jack'. In the end, she avoided naming him, and so did he. He went up to look through his telescope in the evenings, coming down to cook dinner, and then disappearing off to his bedroom once more. She imagined he had a TV up there. 

So, all in all, things were just peachy. 

Apart from the fact that she was going nowhere with discovering Samantha Carter's reasons behind disappearing with her son. And the mirror was probably already destroyed. 

All she could think about on the getting home front was that she could contact the Asgard. Since there now appeared to be two alternate reality mirrors, it made sense that there could be more. However, Earth's relationship with the Asgard wasn't quite as close in this reality as it was in hers, no doubt due to Colonel O'Neill's obsession with finding his wife and son over the past two years. Still, in order to get a message to the Asgard, she would have to ask permission of General Thomas, who would ask what was in the message and then deny her the opportunity. 

Sam sighed as she rolled out her sleeping bag. 

'' Problem?'' 

'' You know. The usual. Wrong reality. No way home.'' 

Boyd grinned. '' If it makes you feel any better, we're real glad we have a Major Carter home. There have been a few close shaves without you, you know.'' 

That was flattering, but rather unlikely. There seemed to be a lot of close shaves when she was around. She decided not to comment. 

They unpacked their MREs and started cooking, occasionally conversing. She decided she liked him. He had a good sense of humour, a wide smile, and, what was more, appeared to like her for herself. 

Daniel and the Colonel returned. Daniel was grumpy because the Colonel had pulled him away from his rocks early. 

'' Daniel, the sun has just set. You couldn't see anything!'' 

Daniel rolled his eyes and shook his torch in the air. '' What do you call this, then?'' 

Sam grinned; this was so akin to the arguments they had at home it was almost impossible not to feel at home. 

'' God,'' Colonel O'Neill muttered, dropping down next to Sam, obviously forgetting she wasn't his favourite person. He looked at her and motioned a strangling gesture with his hands. '' There are times when I could...'' He shook his hands violently. 

'' Hey! I'm right here!'' Daniel protested. 

She giggled into her 'macaroni and cheese' and quickly stuffed a glob into her mouth. 

'' Are they like that where you come from?'' Boyd wanted to know, sharing her amusement. 

She smiled and nodded. '' Yup. I can't tell you the number of arguments they've had. Teal'c and I would just sit there while they fought over everything from morals to what colour the sky was.'' And on one particularly memorable occasion, what the MREs actually tasted like that had resulted in a food fight. Thankfully, General Hammond hadn't commented as 'chicken' pieces had dropped out from behind Daniel's ear. 

'' Teal'c?'' Boyd asked. 

'' Apparently, the other SG-1 has a Jaffa in place of you.'' The Colonel said this with great relish. 

'' A Jaffa!'' 

'' He was, well, probably is, the First Prime to Apophis. We kinda recruited him. Or maybe he decided we were a worthwhile cause to save his people from slavery.'' 

'' How did that come about then?'' 

'' Well, in 1997, the Stargate reactivated and a female officer was kidnapped from the base. Colonel O'Neill was brought in, and Kowalski, Feretti, and me, to go back to Abydos to speak to Daniel Jackson. After all, we thought that the Stargate went only one way, and since Daniel had buried the Stargate on Abydos.... Well, anyway....'' She trailed off, looking at their bemused faces. '' You know, maybe I should be reading reports from the beginning rather than the end. I take it none of this happened in this reality?'' 

'' No. I never buried the Stargate on Abydos. It was thought to be unnecessary because we had killed Apophis. The SGF was formed, initially as a sort of archaeological facility - I mean, some of the things on Abydos was of great cultural significant to Earth. Then, Jack brought Sam through - she'd been working on the dialling computer and it was a sort of favour for her since she didn't get to go on the first mission - and she and I worked out that the cartouches were actually planets.... and that was that.'' 

'' Wow. Um, if you don't mind me asking, what about Sha're?'' 

Daniel's face paled slightly, and he just managed to shake his head. Sam got the message. 

'' And....'' Boy, _this_ wasn't uncomfortable. '' The boy? The Harcesis child?'' 

'' He's.... around,'' Daniel managed. 

'' I'm sorry, Daniel.'' She reached across and touched him on the leg. '' My Daniel's gone through exactly the same things you have.'' 

Daniel covered her hand briefly, then straightened his shoulders. '' So, Teal'c. How did he come about?'' 

'' He didn't like the way his people were being treated. Colonel O'Neill promised him he would help him save them and Teal'c swore loyalty to Earth... well, technically, more to Colonel O'Neill, I suppose. Without Teal'c, I suppose you don't know Bra'tac or any of the other rebel Jaffa.'' 

'' Chulak,'' Colonel O'Neill said softly. 

'' Yeah. Teal'c's homeworld.'' 

'' The Jaffa homeworld.'' 

Sam looked at him sharply. '' Any attack on the homeworld would be a really bad idea, Colonel.'' 

He considered for a moment, chewing and looking at her. '' This Thor's Hammer thing sounds interesting, though.'' 

She did notice he hadn't agreed with her previous warning, but, impressed that he seemed to have digested her rather detailed list of planets, she decided to let it pass. '' Yeah.'' 

The Colonel sighed. '' We oughta look into that.'' He rolled his neck on his shoulders, wincing slightly and reaching up to rub the back of his neck. '' Boyd, take first watch, I'll take second, Daniel third, Sa... Carter last.'' 

Obediently, Sam crawled into her sleeping bag, rather looking forward to almost a full nights sleep. Offworld, at least, she had no excuse for staying awake well into the small hours. She could just lie down and close her eyes.... 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ 

'' Sam. Sam,'' Daniel whispered. She could hear the grin in his voice. '' _Saaam_. Wakey, wakey.'' 

Resisting the urge to groan, Sam rolled onto her back and covered her eyes with her hand. SG-1's second offworld mission in five days - General Thomas didn't believe in downtime. '' Morning, Daniel.'' 

'' Don't think I've ever seen you sleep so hard.'' 

She smiled blandly and sat up, blinking in the dull darkness. Around them, trees hissed and wavered, creating a background noise as repetitive as the sea. At least during her watch she'd steadily be able to see more through those trees than less. '' Thanks for the wake up call.'' 

He grinned and clambered over to his own sleeping bag, not bothering to get inside it, just lying on top. 

This was the third time the Colonel had given her the easy watch. The watch where you were guaranteed to get a full night of unbroken sleep. Back at home, it was usually the watch he gave Daniel - Daniel wasn't military and the Colonel was also strangely protective of him, even if Daniel had lost that edge of naiveté he'd had in the beginning. Sam wondered, this time, if he was giving her the watch because he felt she needed all the sleep she could get or that he didn't trust her military skills. 

She quietly made coffee, sitting close to the fire and resting her chin on her raised knees. Really, she ought to be looking around, 'keeping watch', and it was that thought that had her standing up and walking a little way from camp, hoping the slightly brisk air would wake her up. She bounced on the spot for a moment or two, then, deciding her coffee would be ready, she walked back to camp, smiling down at Boyd whose face was smushed into his arm. 

'' Is that coffee?'' 

Sam jumped, then glanced unwillingly to the Colonel who had an arm thrown over his eyes. '' Yes, sir.'' 

'' I'll do your washing for a month if you bring me some.'' 

'' Since I only have one pair of jeans, a T-shirt and a jumper, that wouldn't be much of a hardship, sir,'' Sam said coolly, despite the fact that she was reeling at the colonel's jokey tone. She crouched down and poured him a tin full, then brought it over to where he was sleeping. 

Slowly, he sat up and took the tin, their fingertips brushing accidentally. Sam wondered if he felt the same little thrills running up his arm as she did. '' You can wear her stuff, you know.'' 

Sam made a face and turned her back on him, walking back to the fire, wiping her fingers on her shirt. '' I just don't feel... comfortable,'' she told her own tin of coffee. 

'' Yeah. I know.'' 

It was probably the first time he had admitted to the discomfort she must be feeling. Talk about major breakthrough. 

'' If you like, we could go shopping.'' 

She glanced back at him in surprise. '' You don't have to do it.'' 

He smiled wryly. '' Yes, I do. We have a joint bank account. Unless you know how she signs her credit slips, you won't be able to use any credit cards.'' 

Oh. Well, yeah. 

'' Guess we'll have to practise that.'' Sam wondered whether the other Sam had gone by her married name or her maiden name on her credit cards. It was obviously easier at work to just go by Carter - be a little confusing to have a Major O'Neill and a Colonel O'Neill running around the base. Samantha O'Neill. It sounded really good. 

Since he was apparently in the mood to talk sensibly, Sam walked back over to him and sat down. '' Um, I was wanting to ask you a few things that I'm not sure anyone else would know.'' 

Colonel O'Neill took a big sip of his coffee. '' Shoot.'' 

'' I've started reading the reports from the very beginning.'' She smiled slightly. '' And things have started to clear up for me. Rather than Apophis coming through in 1997 and everything escalating from there, the Stargate in this reality has actually been active since the first mission to Abydos. I, she, went through in November 1995 and then she and Daniel accidentally discovered that the Stargate could be used to go to other planets. Right so far?'' 

He was staring off into the distance, presumably keeping watch for her. '' Spot on.'' 

'' Now, this is where things start getting odd. The Stargate activates while we're all there - which, coincidentally, is the same thing that happened in 1997 when we were there - and Sha're is kidnapped by a bunch of Jaffa.'' 

'' Yes.'' His eyes were still fixed in the same place. 

'' Sir? I was wondering... after that, Major Carter's report and your report take on alarmingly similar detail.'' 

'' What are you suggesting, Major?'' 

Well, that was the point. She didn't know what she was suggesting. It was just that reading the two reports side by side, it was almost as if they had been written together. Which was possible, of course. For all she knew, they wrote all their joint mission reports together. It had just been slightly suspicious. In fact, now that she was thinking about it, with him in front of her, he was looking decidedly shifty. Not in the sense that his expression was shifty, but in the sense that his eyes had gone carefully cold. He was trained to give nothing away, but that didn't mean she couldn't read him when he was preparing to lie. 

'' Sir?'' 

Colonel O'Neill sighed. '' You being you, you're not going to let this go, are you?'' 

Well, that was apparently a character trait they shared in both realities. '' No, sir.'' 

'' Right.'' He looked around at the other two members of SG-1 who were still sleeping deeply. He started to get up and gestured at her to follow. 

Wondering what he was about to tell her, and slightly surprised that she'd caught on to something that could well turn out to be important, Sam followed the Colonel over to a collection of boulders. They weren't very far away from the others that they would be neglecting their duties, but at least this way they could have a semi private conversation. 

'' Daniel knows about this, but Boyd's only been on the team for three years.'' 

Sam nodded, her eyes flicking over the Colonel's intent face. 

'' Sha're wasn't the only one kidnapped. Sam was too.'' 

'' Oh God!'' 

He winced, as if recalling in more detail than he'd like, what had been a dire past event he'd rather forget. '' In an entirely unprofessional effort to rescue her, I kinda got caught by Apophis's henchmen and rather than kill me, like they'd done everyone else they'd come into contact with, I was dragged through the wormhole to Apophis's palace.'' 

None of which was in the report. As far as the authorities were concerned, Colonel O'Neill and Captain Carter had helplessly watched as Sha're was taken through the wormhole, having memorised the co-ordinates used on the DHD. The rest of the team followed in an effort to get Sha're back. 

'' I was knocked unconscious pretty much as soon as we exited the Stargate and when I woke up I was in some kind of cell. Sam wasn't with me. I later found out that she'd been put in a room with Sha're and lots of other potential hosts... hostesses for Amounet.'' 

'' Oh, great.'' 

'' Yeah. Turned out, they were pretty interested in me as well. Not only was Amounet's host dying, but so was Apophis's. In fact, his symbiote was pretty sickly too.'' He swallowed hard. '' Apparently, they'd been infected by something, some kind of bio-weapon that the scientists at the SGF are pretty keen to get their hands on.'' 

Sam had run out of suitable horrified expressions. '' They were going to use you as a host?'' 

'' Nope. They _did_ use me as a host for Apophis. Then, when the symbiote read my... decided preference for Sam, Amounet's symbiote was, rather against it's will, apparently, implanted in her, in front of me.'' Jack winced ever so slightly, a muscle ticking in his jaw. 

'' You were both... oh my God. I mean, that explains why... I can sort of, feel the naquadah in you. I mean, God, I'd thought it was...'' Now she wasn't making any sense at all. '' What the hell happened? I mean, you don't have the symbiotes now.'' 

'' No. They'd thought by getting rid of the hosts bodies the symbiotes would have a better chance at healing. But the host jumping process took a lot of them. Apophis... died inside of me without taking me with it because we were only partially joined. It was a bloody mess. I only vaguely remember what happened next. I can still see Sam lying on that alter thing, shouting out Goa'uld commands to some Jaffa and the next thing I knew, Sha're had been brought in, kicking and screaming for all her worth.'' 

Sam was shaking her head. '' What? Why?'' 

'' The symbiote was being rejected by your body. They tried to make it slither out of you but it was too weak. It died. We were both pretty much out of it. I passed out again, you were totally dead to the world. The guards hot footed it out of there. The next thing I knew, Daniel and the others were coming to our rescue.'' 

God. How... revolting. A Tokra, okay, she could deal with that, though deep down inside she was pretty much icked about the whole concept. But a Goa'uld, worse, Apophis's _wife_. Ugh. '' Can you... can you see the memories of Apophis?'' 

'' Nope. All I've got left in me is a protein marker.'' 

Still shaking her head, Sam suddenly realised something. '' But... Sha're?'' 

'' Klorel's goddess. Klorel was Apophis's son... he wanted to carry out his father's plans,'' Jack explained. 

With dawning horror, she recalled the relationship between Amounet and Klorel's hosts. '' Klorel? _Skaara_?'' 

He frowned. '' No. Skaara's still on Abydos. Klorel's host was some other guy. There were a lot of slaves in the palace. Do you mean, Skaara became Klorel?'' 

'' Yeah!'' She was immeasurably relieved. Seriously. Goa'uld breeding was revolting enough without knowing the parents were brother and sister. Ugh. '' So, why the big cover up? Why did you lie in your reports?'' 

He sighed and reached up to massage the back of his neck. '' For lots of reasons. Firstly, Hammond had concerns about me and Sam being on any kind of team together. We went through on a sort of favour. You'd worked on the dialling computer and all, and it was a kind of treat to get you to see what it was like on the other side. We'd thought it was safe anyway. When you were kidnapped... we weren't exactly on our guard, if you see what I mean.'' He looked at her. Hard. Sam felt herself begin to blush. '' We were sort of involved in the kind of thing Hammond had been concerned about in the first place. We were distracted, which was the only reason why Sha're was kidnapped and so were you.'' 

Sam cleared her throat uncomfortably. '' Is that it?'' 

'' No. The other reason was the fact that Apophis immediately saw the relationship between myself and Sam. She would not have been chosen as a host if I'd been anyone else.'' 

For the first time, regulations were starting to make sense to Sam. Seeing them in action with replicas of herself and Colonel O'Neill was a really nice way to drum the message home. 

'' Thirdly, after we awoke, it became clear that the SGF was going to branch out as a military facility, as a defence organisation. And we both wanted to be in on it. If there was any chance that because of our relationship we'd be separated, we wanted to minimise it as much as possible. We knew we wouldn't be put on the same team or anything, so as far as we were aware we weren't going to jeopardise anyone else after that just because we got all romantic on another planet....'' 

There went that blush again. Man, she really oughta practise looking pale and interesting. '' How did you convince the others?'' 

'' We only had to convince Daniel, Feretti and Kowalski. The others had been killed. Daniel had seen the dialling code and had convinced Feretti and Kowalski to go after us, both of whom, naturally, hadn't needed much convincing, the idiots,'' he added affectionately. '' It wasn't real hard convincing them to keep quiet about it, for which I feel partially ashamed, proud and irritated. Daniel didn't really give a damn about lying in a military report, while Kowalski had been my best man at the wedding and Feretti fancies you himself, so they were okay with it.'' 

Ferretti... wah? Focus, Sam, focus. '' Jesus. No one's ever picked up on it, then?'' 

'' Well, the doc did, of course. Some unidentifiable metal was found in our blood - naquadah - but since it wasn't doing us any harm it was just noted down all neat and precise in a clipboard. It was assumed to be a side effect - exposure to the food or drink or something.'' 

'' No brain scans? You would have been able to see the remains of the symbiote.'' 

He shook his head. '' Nope. And anyway, that doc was replaced shortly after by our dear Doc Fraiser who initially just wanted to take our blood and do lots and lots of tests on it. That meant needles.'' 

'' Yeah. She was probably trying to find out whether you had bad reactions to certain drugs. I know from the experience that the symbiote deteriorates pretty quickly,'' Sam said, frowning, working it all through in her mind. Knowing what she knew now, with hindsight it seemed damn risky lying in reports. There could have so easily been a slip up - scans could have revealed the symbiote and the SGF would have freaked en masse. '' So when Jolinar took me as host here, the protein marker and the symbiote would have shown up, effectively covering up everything else. The naquadah would have been only an anomaly you and I had, Janet wouldn't have realised it came from being blended.'' It still didn't sit right with her, though. Probably because when she thought of naquadah, she automatically associated with Goa'uld hosts, which the people in this reality wouldn't. '' What about the hyper sensitivity to Goa'uld, then?'' 

'' That took a while for us to realise, actually.'' 

'' I suppose it would have done, without Teal'c to corroborate,'' she mused. '' Damn, sir, but that was a risky idea. You could have been caught out.'' 

'' We nearly were. Kowalski got Goa'ulded a few weeks later, started shouting things during one of his blackouts. Then he threw himself into an incoming wormhole. We figured, if the worst came to the worst, we'd explain that we were unconscious the whole time and experienced exactly the same blackouts as Kowalski had done. We simply hadn't _known_ what had happened.'' 

She kind of wished she'd never asked now, anyway, Sam thought, now that she was in on the secret. '' You know, Hammond would probably have understood.'' 

'' We didn't know Hammond back then.'' 

She deflated a little. '' No, I suppose you didn't. God, what a mess.'' 

Jack sighed, and because of their closeness (when had that happened anyway?), ruffled the hair that formed part of her sort-of fringe. She shivered a little and hoped he didn't notice. Wrapping her arms about herself, she bit her lip. '' And all that happened on the first mission? And I thought it was bad getting Jolinar.'' 

'' Oh yeah, by that stage, Sam was a pro. Though, we thought it was another Goa'uld.'' A shadow passed over his face. '' It was no less scary then either.'' 

'' No. I remember...'' She stopped, uncomfortable talking about the other Colonel O'Neill. Somehow it seemed a little like betrayal, a feeling akin to the one she felt when she thought about wearing the other Samantha Carter's clothes. 

But he pressed her, '' Remember what?'' 

'' The look on your, no, _his_ face. They sent you in to interview me. You hated it. You told me afterwards that... that... you'd had difficulty trying to separate me from the parasite inside of me. In fact, it hadn't been just difficult, it had been nearly impossible.'' It had probably been one of the most emotional conversations she'd ever had with Colonel O'Neill. The first hint that maybe the feelings she had for him, that had been growing since, well, probably the beginning, might be returned. Of course, soon after that, he'd broken her heart with yet another alien chick. And not even one Sam could find it in her to hate. 

'' Daniel and Teal'c did it for me. I mean, I stood in the background, but again the symbiote seemed to know that I would be a weakness. She used Sam's voice to appeal to me and I had to get out of the room. I couldn't cope knowing that you were lost to me like that. I had to go home to Matt and explain to him why you weren't there.'' 

On impulse, she reached out and touched his arm. He moved slightly, and she started to take her hand away, worried that she'd overstepped some unspoken line, but it turned out all he wanted to do was clutch her hand with his. She risked a glance at his face, but he was staring at their clasped hands. 

'' We need to get you a wedding ring,'' he said, his voice slightly hoarse. 

She swallowed. OhGodohGodohGod. A wedding ring. '' Um... okay.'' 

'' General Thomas said we could start divorce proceedings, if that's what we want.'' 

'' But we're not married.'' 

He smiled slightly, tightened his fingers on her hand. '' That's what I said.'' 

'' Besides, I'll be going home, and she and Matt will be coming back. You'll need to sort... that sort of thing out in person.'' And, once she'd found out the other Samantha Carter was innocent, 'that sort of thing' would be far easier to sort out. 

'' You're still hoping to get home.'' 

'' I know I will. Nothing's ever stopped me from getting what I want before.'' Okay, with probably one real exception. '' I figure, if the Ancients made two sets of mirrors, there's very little reason why they couldn't have made at least another set.'' 

He frowned slightly, as if the concept irritated him. '' There is that.'' 

She decided to say no more on the subject for the moment. She was sure moments like this with the Colonel shouldn't be overdone - it would be best to spread things out as much as possible. 

He released her hand eventually. '' Sun's come up,'' he told her unnecessarily. '' We'd best start making breakfast.'' 


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six** (100 Days) 

The other Samantha had disappeared shortly after the Colonel's three month vacation on Edora. Staring down at the report she'd written upon collecting Colonel O'Neill from Edora, Sam read the subtext. While Laira was mentioned fleetingly as the woman who had 'provided accommodation for Colonel O'Neill', it was clear from the tone she had used that something rather more significant had been going on. 

'' Do you know what his relationship with Laira was, Daniel?'' 

Daniel, her current victim for information, nearly dropped his cup of coffee. '' Er... Sam, I'm not sure...'' 

'' Because he had one in my reality. In the sense that he slept with her.'' It had taken her months to be able to voice that particular phrase. It was one of the things that no one mentioned, obviously not in front of the Colonel, but Sam had also noticed that Daniel, General Hammond and Janet avoided that time as much as possible too. Even the particle accelerator that she had just whipped up so effortlessly for rescuing her ungrateful CO was mentioned in reverent tones. 

He put the cup down carefully. '' I'm genuinely not sure, Sam, but, yes, I think they did have some sort of sexual relationship. I know things were strained between Sam and Jack after that. He spent the night at my house for a few nights running, spent a lot of the time on the phone to her. He never actually told me what had happened, but you know Jack, he tends to say things in other ways. Then there was the whole... Tollen mess.'' 

The bastard. Oops, where had that come from? She knew only too well that the 'Tollen mess' had just been him following orders. And lying to her. And tell her that.... Oh boy. Issues anyone? '' Oh yeah. Us too.'' 

'' And then she disappeared. Initially, we put her disappearance down to those few months of strain on the marriage but Jacob came home and hotly denied any such possibility. He was furious, actually, with everyone, including Jack. He accused him of having no faith in her. Sam wouldn't run out on Earth just because she was having some marital difficulties. It wasn't like their marriage was a bed of roses all the time - it couldn't be after all the things you were going through. Jolinar put them through the wringer, of course, and consequentially Jack really wasn't keen on the Tokra, particularly Martouf, while you were more open to ideas.'' 

'' That's pretty similar in our reality, too. Jack,'' now she was doing it, and it was only going to get worse, '' I mean, Colonel O'Neill just hates all Goa'uld.'' 

'' It was more than that here. The way Jolinar forced herself into Sam confirmed Jack's belief that no Goa'uld was to be trusted ever. He can just about cope with your dad, but Martouf and all the others just wind him up the wrong way.'' 

Sam found herself smiling. '' Poor Martouf. Uh, I take it, Martouf and Jolinar...'' 

'' Love of a lifetime?'' he said wryly. '' Yeah. I wouldn't, ah, mention Martouf to Jack, Sam. I'm not kidding when I say if Martouf came through that Stargate now Jack would kick his ass back through in the incoming wormhole. Martouf and Jack had... words a few months ago and Jack refuses to have him back here.'' 

'' Really? What were they arguing about?'' 

'' You, of course. For a while, Jack thought that you'd gone to the Tokra and he was really suspicious of Martouf who was on an extended mission for about a year, starting virtually the day you-she disappeared.'' 

'' Oh boy.'' 

'' Yeah.'' He shook his head. '' So, how's the reading going?'' 

'' Slowly. I'm also trying to read up SG-1s missions since I'm now on SG-1, while reading up SG-2s. Then there are the joint missions with SG-5 and the archaeologist branch of the SGF...'' She blew out a breath. There really wasn't a reasonable way to describe just how frustrating her research was. '' There's just so much of it. Four mission reports from each member of each team, four different viewpoints, umpteen missions. Daniel, I'm going to be doing this stuff until I'm fifty.'' 

'' Some of the missions must match yours.'' 

'' Some do, but mostly SG-1s, and only to a degree. There are slight but often important differences.'' She looked up just in time to see Colonel O'Neill approaching their table with a tray. 

He sat down next to her and glanced over her reading material. '' Still slogging away?'' 

'' Slogging is the right word. Daniel's read like a book.'' 

'' Hey! I'm told my style of writing is very refreshing.'' 

Both Sam and Colonel O'Neill snorted. 

'' At least I don't write like I'm trying to beat the record for shortest report ever: Arrived on planet. Planet hostile. Escaped due to ingenious debating skills of Dr Jackson. The end.'' 

Sam giggled. That did sound surprisingly like Colonel O'Neill's reports. '' That's great, Daniel.'' 

The Colonel smirked. '' Well, that's all changing now, Danny-boy. We have another genius on the team now.'' 

'' All hail the theoretical astrophysicist,'' Daniel said in mock awe. '' Talking of people who deserve fake reverence, what did General Thomas say to you this morning after the briefing?'' 

Sam had almost forgotten the abrupt way that General Thomas has pulled the Colonel aside. 

'' Something about margins and bullet point summaries. I forget.'' 

Sam and Daniel glanced at each other. 

'' Jack, don't be flippant. What did he really say?'' 

The Colonel sighed and poised his fork over some pasta. '' Don't worry, I was very respectful, Dad. 'Yes sir'ed and 'no sir'ed like there was no tomorrow. We're going on a joint mission with SG-2 and their new leader next Monday. He was warning me in advance.'' 

'' Are we breaking him in? I thought SG-2 went on their first mission last week.'' 

'' Yes, they did. Mission objectives were achieved efficiently. The only reason I imagine we'll be playing with SG-2 next week is so that Colonel Kiss-Ass can observe us.'' 

'' Or you,'' Sam added, suddenly feeling queasy. 

'' Or me.'' He waved some pasta in the air, then popped it into his mouth. '' So we'll have to be extra careful, boys and girls. Make ourselves look useful.'' They stared at him. He waggled some more pasta at them. '' Okay, I'll try to make myself look useful. But you've got to keep up the pretence as well.'' 

'' How you can make a joke out of this?'' Daniel demanded, which was pretty much what Sam wanted to know. 

'' Oh, I can make a joke out of anything. Trust me, now is the time to make the most out of your sense of humour. It's only going to go downhill from here.'' 

Sam lowered her head to the table. '' I miss General Hammond. I'd even settle for General Vidrine at this point. Even he knew when he was wrong.'' 

'' Three quarters of my time, I'm finding that I hate the military,'' Daniel added, leaning forward, his arms crossed on the table. '' Jack, if you don't mind me asking...'' 

'' I'm sure I will, Daniel, but carry on.'' 

'' Why are you taking this so calmly?'' 

'' Calm? Who said anything about being calm?'' 

Sam turned her head to the side and checked him out. '' Did you go to the gym this morning?'' 

'' Yup.'' 

'' Beat the crap out of the bag?'' 

'' Yup.'' 

She smirked, rested her head again. '' Ah.'' 

'' You people are nuts.'' 

'' Is that your jello? Are you gonna eat it?'' 

Daniel pushed it towards him. '' Be my guest. Sam, I'll have that translation for you by about four. I'll bring it over.'' 

'' Thanks, Daniel.'' She smiled into her arms and then lifted her head, pulling her latest report towards herself. She was on Boyd's version of events. 

'' Um, Edora?'' 

She glanced at him. '' Yeah.'' 

He looked suddenly nervous. '' You, um, ever been there?'' 

Seeing an opportunity that couldn't be missed, Sam smiled. Dangerously. '' Yes, actually. Colonel O'Neill, however, was rather more... intimately acquainted with Edora than I was.'' 

He had the grace to look ashamed. '' Yeah. I mean, I know what you mean. I didn't think I was going home, Sam.'' 

'' Yeah, I guessed as much. Did she put you through hell?'' 

'' Oh yeah. There was a point there when I thought she was going to shoot me.'' 

'' Serves you right.'' 

'' I didn't sleep with her.'' 

Sam's eyebrows shot upwards. '' Laira?'' 

'' Yeah. I didn't sleep with her.'' 

'' Really?'' Sam sat up properly, genuinely interested. She'd never actually asked Colonel O'Neill if he'd slept with Laira - it was just pretty obvious. And Daniel had let it slip once, a few weeks after. She hadn't been surprised but the last vestige of hope had died inside her. And then she'd gone into the ladies' and thrown up. Just like she'd done when they returned from Edora with him. '' Then why....'' 

'' Because it was obvious that if I was there for a significant period of time, I probably would have. Laira wanted to have a family with me and I could imagine myself settling... no, that's sound cruel. I mean something nicer than 'settling'. Getting used to her, maybe. When Sam came through the wormhole, though I was overjoyed to see her, I was trying to be careful of Laira's feelings. She'd just lost her husband, after all.'' 

'' Sam didn't see it that way, though.'' Wow. That was weird. Referring to herself in the third person. 

'' No. She didn't. She waited until we got home before she threw me out. Daniel got the brunt of my bad temper for a few days.'' 

Sam sat quietly for a moment. '' When did you find out about your mission to catch NID?'' 

Jack snorted. '' About two days after Sam had let me move into the spare bedroom.'' He dropped his fork and rubbed his hands over his face. '' God. If I thought that was bad, just a few weeks after that...'' He snapped his fingers. '' She disappears, taking my son with her.'' 

Sam opened her mouth to defend herself - sort of - but Colonel O'Neill cut her off, raising his hand. '' Don't. You've acquainted yourself with all of Sam's missions now. You can finish SG-1s and I don't want to hear any more about it, okay?'' 

'' Sir...'' 

'' That's an order.'' 

She pressed herself lips together and let him storm off. He'd left his jello behind too. 

Way to go, Sam. Just piss off the only man on the planet who'd be able to help you. Piss him off only days after you'd finally broken through the hatred for your counterpart. Way to go. 

She dropped her head back on the table and lay there pretending it didn't hurt. 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 

There was a message from some woman Sam didn't recognise on the answer machine and at first she didn't realise what it said. She played it back again. '' Hey... Jack. It's me. Sara. Um. Call me.'' 

Sara? The infamous ex-wife? Okay, that wasn't fair. The woman had been perfectly nice, if a little dazed on the only occasion Sam had met her. Oh yeah, and there had been that one really, really awkward situation when SG-1 had stayed over at the Colonel's after a particularly gruelling week-long mission and Sam had answered the door at eight on Saturday morning wearing just a T-shirt only to find a very embarrassed ex-wife standing there, a shocked expression on her face. It could only have been a couple of months after they'd divorced and Sara had excused herself and ran the hell away, leaving Sam with no choice by to panic, run up to the Colonel's bedroom and wake him up with the non-too-pleasing information that his ex-wife might have just got the wrong impression. 

She'd almost forgotten about that, actually. Which was a surprise because she'd got to see the Colonel in nothing but navy blue boxers running out of the room like a blur. Perhaps it was the fact that after the front door had slammed (she did hope he found something to wear) she'd been too tired to move and had fallen face down on his bed and slept until eleven. When she'd woken up properly she'd discovered she was no longer the only person in the bed. This time it had been her who'd done the running. Naturally, they never spoke of it again. 

Nervously, Sam flicked over to the next message. Daniel. Daniel confirming that the previous message was from himself. Ooh, Janet (and Cassy yammering in the background) reminding Sam that they were going out on Friday with Cassy. Daniel calling to point out the time of his first message and that it was urgent that Sam or Jack call him back. 

Sam giggled. '' Classic Daniel,'' she murmured to herself. 

'' What is?'' 

She nearly shrieked. '' God! What are you? A ghost?'' 

Colonel O'Neill dropped his jacket over the back of the sofa. '' It's the training. What's classic Daniel?'' 

'' Just his method of dealing with answer machines. Um, you'll probably want to deal with the first one yourself. I'm gonna go upstairs and have a shower.'' She ducked past him and ran up the stairs just in time to hear the beginning of the message again. 

She spent rather a long time in the shower, giving the Colonel time to do... whatever that needed doing. She washed her hair twice, conditioned twice, then used the peach shower gel that Cassy had sweetly given her (despite Sam's misgivings about smelling like a fruit offworld). Still not willing to go out and face him, she combed her hair, brushed her teeth and considered exfoliating just for the hell of it before remembering that Daniel had urgently wanted to speak to them. 

She dressed in her only pair of jeans, and the pale blue sweater and wandered downstairs quietly. She could hear noise in the kitchen and so jogged down the last few steps, relieved that she wouldn't have to interrupt a personal conversation between him and his wife. Wait, ex-wife. That issue wasn't up for debate in this reality. '' Did you call Daniel?'' 

'' No.'' He came out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel. '' I thought you'd want to do that on speakerphone.'' 

'' Okay.'' She went to the phone, pressed number one on the speed dial. 

'' Hello?'' 

'' Daniel.'' 

'' Sam! Is Jack there?'' 

'' I'm here.'' 

'' Jack! Great. Right. You'll never going to believe this, but I can't tell you over the phone. Can you get over here? We can have takeaway or something.'' 

Sam looked at the clock on the mantelpiece and then back at Jack. 

He shrugged. '' Fine by me.'' 

'' Okay, Daniel, we'll be right over.'' 

'' Great. Um, any particular preference?'' 

'' I'm up for Thai,'' Jack announced. 

'' Sounds good. Daniel, Thai?'' 

'' Okay. See you in fifteen minutes.'' 

'' Rush hour, Daniel!'' 

'' Okay, half an hour.'' 

Jack rolled his eyes and hung up. '' Do you want to drive, or shall I?'' 

'' What car are we going in?'' 

'' The truck.'' 

'' You drive. I've never driven it before.'' 

He opened his mouth to say something, then changed his mind. 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Daniel looked ecstatic to see them and kicked away a couple of cardboard boxes filled with what looked like ceramic ducks, of all things, before letting them inside. '' Sorry. Mess.'' 

'' No more than usual, Daniel,'' Jack said, skirting around a stuffed animal, eyes round with surprise. 

Sam jumped said animal at the last moment. '' Christ, Daniel, what's that?'' 

'' It's a cat.'' 

'' I can see that,'' she said sarcastically. 

'' The Egyptians believed....'' 

'' Daniel!'' 

'' Why don't we order first?'' 

Sam rolled her eyes and couldn't help but exchange an amused, exasperated glance with the Colonel. 

Daniel's sitting area was, as usual, covered in open dusty books, dictionaries of various languages (some far more obscure than others) and sheets of paper, lined, blank, scrunched up and protected. Sam recognised one of the notebooks that was lying prominently in the middle of the table. 

'' Hey, Daniel, isn't that the translation you were supposed to give me yesterday but didn't?'' 

Daniel had the phone to his ear. '' No, no, that one's at work. Sorry, haven't got around to it yet. I'll give it to you tomorrow. The usual?'' He glanced at Sam, remembered, then glanced at Jack, who nodded. He turned to murmur into the phone. 

Sam picked it up, leafing through the sheets of translated material. She remembered enough Latin to be able to translate the odd chemical name, but beyond that and some schoolgirl French she was decidedly lacking in the linguistic area. Daniel's translations, even though they were now in English, were always sort of like riddles or metaphorical. She rolled her eyes as she grabbed the odd phrase amongst the scored through and underlined or crossed out selection on offer to her. 

_Upon the fifteenth circle of the eighth cycle... In boats of diamond and colours unnatural.... Brothers and sisters alike as the two burning suns.... Eyes to another world...._

Jack dropped down onto a sofa and propped his feat up on Daniel's no doubt antique coffee table. He sighed dramatically. '' I could do with a beer, Daniel.'' 

'' Get it yourself,'' Sam murmured absently, still flicking through the pages. She came back to the first page. Eyes to another world. Okay, she was no linguist but that sounded awfully like... 

'' Figured it out yet?'' 

Sam raised her eyes, her heart pounding. '' Eyes to another world? Brothers and sisters alike as the two burning suns? Um... Daniel...'' 

'' Sounds like your usual gibberish to me.'' 

'' No. Jack, don't you see? It's talking about alternate realities.'' 

If it hadn't been so serious, the way he sat bolt upright and threw himself to standing would have been comical. '' What?'' He towered over Sam. 

'' Eyes to another world. Mirrors were like eyes. Brothers and sisters alike? Twins. On the next few pages,'' Daniel took the notepad from Sam and flicked forward a couple of pages, '' _Great shivers and shakes overcame my brother and his wife - _which really translated as mate _- and then they were no more. _Entrophic cascade failure, anyone?'' He slapped the notepad closed triumphantly. 

Sam was speechless. 

'' Where did you get this, Daniel?'' 

'' SG-8 visited, um, P34 5Y2, the trading planet a couple of months ago, remember? And Captain Spanin had the sense to barter for books at, well, the book stall. She brought back thirty-three books, all fascinating in their own right. There were a couple in Goa'uld, actually, which are helping in expanding my vocabulary no end. Jack, you must remember me telling you about this?'' 

Colonel O'Neill just stared at him. 

'' So the book this came from might not necessarily be from P34 5Y2?'' Sam said, trying to get Daniel to the point. 

'' True, but it's likely it'll be a neighbouring planet. That whole solar system has two suns, remember. Like on the first page? It's got to be there. And the language... I'd recognise the language.'' 

Sam's knees started to wobble, so she dropped down onto the edge of the sofa and rested her head in her hands. '' Holy Hannah.'' 

'' I mean, you understand why I got you over here. This is... miraculous.'' 

'' Yeah. Miraculous,'' Jack said in low, aggrieved tones. 

'' Hey, guys, you don't sound too thrilled. Sam, you could go home. Jack, we can get Sam and Matt back.'' 

'' Yeah, Daniel, sure we can. Only the odd problem with that scenario, isn't there? General Thomas. Colonel Kiss-Ass. The fact that there are millions, if not billions of alternate realities out there,'' Jack ended, his voice rising to a spectacular shout. 

Sam blinked and decided she'd had enough of yelling. She pushed at his weak knee and he fell back, yelping. '' First things first, how do we get to check out the planets in that solar system. We'll need a map.'' 

Daniel stopped narrowing his eyes at Jack and focussed on the slightly more positive Sam. '' I figure we could just get a mission to one of the planets in that solar system, we could gate to the surrounding ones.'' 

'' What about if we suggested we return to P34 5Y2? General Thomas might be amenable to you going back to get more books, information.'' 

'' No. It won't work. There's no technological reason for us to return,'' Jack said repressively. 

'' Come on, Jack, think of something then. Why are you being so difficult about this?'' 

'' Daniel,'' Jack said softly, very dangerously, '' I did this for two years, remember? It was my one goal. Chasing around the universe searching for two needles in a galactic haystack. I destroyed General Hammond's career and probably mine as well. God knows what this would do to your careers. I can't do this anymore.'' He stood up abruptly. '' I could do with a beer right now.'' 

Silently, Sam and Daniel watched him walk into the kitchen, heard the refrigerator open and the clinking of glass. 

Sam looked at Daniel's crushed expression, something she'd seen before on the occasions her Jack and this Jack had shot him down. '' Give him a couple of days, Daniel,'' she suggested softly. '' We'll need to start planning anyway before we can actually do something.'' 

He nodded and started tidying the translations away, sighing deeply. '' Sometimes I forget, you know, that the way he presents himself has nothing to do with the way he feels. I suppose I ought to learn my lesson.'' 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ 

People dealt with grief in different ways. It amused Sam, very vaguely, to acknowledge for the first time that her father and Colonel O'Neill dealt in the same way. After her mother had died, her father would come home from particularly hard days at work, take a look at her mother's picture on the mantle and drink. Not heavily. Not every night, either, come to think of it. Not at the weekends, or when she had friends over. Nor, when she was older, when she'd go out. He was always dead sober when she returned in the small hours of the morning to find him waiting up for her to lecture her on curfews and the dangers for young women out in the night. 

Colonel O'Neill was the same. When the grief hit him badly, he drank to dull the pain. Tonight, while Daniel and Sam had made conversation over the sound of the news and then the late night movie they'd found on cable, the Colonel had steadily drank, first beer, then the wine they'd had with dinner, then some of Daniel's whisky. Her own common sense dulled by the thrill of what Daniel had found, Sam forgot he was the one who was driving and that they couldn't get home with him in the state he was. 

'' Taxi?'' Daniel whispered as they dumped cartons into the bin. '' You could stay over but I only have the one room. Um, he could share with me.'' 

Even Sam could see Daniel wasn't keen on that idea. Daniel's room wasn't exactly spacious, his bed no more than queen sized, and both men weren't exactly small. 

'' It's all right. He'll fall asleep quick. I'll stay with him.'' 

Daniel nodded and went into the spare room to get things ready, while Sam went to stand in front of the Colonel who was sitting in the single chair, head resting on his hand which was propped up on his knee. An empty crystal whisky glass was precariously dangling at the ends of his fingers between his legs. 

She lowered herself, touched his face very lightly so his eyes raised hers. She saw nothing in the brown eyes that alarmed her, no anger, no awe-shattering grief. '' Bed,'' she said simply. 

He didn't argue. In fact, he stood up by himself and carefully put the glass down on the coffee table. 

Shadowing him closely, she smiled at Daniel who made a quick exit from the spare room, and watched - rather maternally, she felt - as the Colonel crawled across the bed and lay face down on the left hand side. Moments later, he started snoring softly. 

She giggled, couldn't help herself. Feeling really wifely now, she undid the laces on his boots and eased each one off his foot, then peeled the socks off. She left the collection of foot items on the floor by the crate of leather books and then kicked off her own shoes. 

A shadow paused in the doorway. '' I've got you a spare toothbrush. It's in the bathroom,'' Daniel whispered. '' Here's something to sleep in.'' He held up something, a T-shirt, and threw it at her. 

'' Thanks,'' Sam responded, equally softly. She smiled at her friend and thumbed in the direction of her colonel. '' Dead to the world.'' 

'' Do you know...'' Daniel paused tactfully, then gestured her for her to leave the room with him. She did so, half closed the door behind her. '' Sam, does he do that a lot? At home?'' 

'' Um... I don't think so.'' Perhaps she ought to check the levels of the liqueur bottles. 

Daniel was still looking concerned. '' Well, night, Sam.'' 

'' Night, Daniel. Thanks.'' She hoped he knew what she was talking about. 

'' We'll see, won't we?'' 

Sam carried out her nightly ablutions as best she could, changed into the T-shirt, grinning when she saw the cartoon pyramids on the front and the words 'My friend went to Egypt and all I got was this lousy T-shirt'. In fact her grin turned into a snicker than she found vaguely embarrassing as she was all alone in the bathroom. She turned off the light and padded out into the hallway, thanking her good night sight for enabling her to avoid the crates and boxes that were lined haphazardly against walls. 

The spare room was warm, the Colonel's soft snores comforting. Trying not to disturb him, Sam climbed onto the bed, slid under the covers and clung to her side of the bed. 


	7. Chapter Seven

AN: Phew. Only four more chapters after this, and the epilogue.****

****Disclaimer: At the beginning. 

Spoilers: All over the place. 

****

**Chapter Seven** (Shades of Grey) 

Colonel Kiss-Ass (otherwise known as Colonel Forsythe) was an attractive man in his middle to late thirties. He had greying temples, but otherwise had a head full of short, black hair. His eyes were a sharp green, his mouth was sent in a permanently tense line. He didn't voice an opinion about women in the Air Force, nor scientists, as Sam had half expected him too, but it was clear he disapproved of the whole of SG-1. 

The mission briefing was brief and filled with military short terms as both colonels tried to out-tactic each other. Considering they were just going to check out a recently vacated Goa'uld military site (well, for Daniel, thirty years was recently), the air of battle that pervaded the briefing room was rather unnecessary. Sam kept catching her ex-subordinates' eyes and giving them smiles of encouragement but it was clear that they weren't too keen on their new leader either. Still, they were all Air Force. They would accept, because that was what they were trained to do. 

Colonel O'Neill gave his locker a vicious kick once they'd reached that relative safety. Saying nothing, he unlocked it and began to change. 

Boyd raised his eyebrows at everyone else, avoiding Colonel O'Neill as best her could. 

'' That was... pleasant,'' Daniel stated, watching the Colonel carefully. He glanced at Sam, raised his eyebrows. '' You know Forsythe?'' 

She shook her head. '' No. Hammond would never have approved someone who was so obviously territorial.'' Considering Colonel O'Neill was pretty territorial himself, it would have been like throwing two tom cats in a cage and watching them duke it out. 

Daniel was muttering things to himself, changing clothes. '' I just can't believe things are going to hell like this. I can't believe there's nothing we can do about it.'' 

Sam stared into her own locker, frowning slightly. Was there nothing they could do about it? Hammond had resigned in order to protect the rest of the SGF, but whose idea had it been to replace him with someone like General Thomas? It was possible, of course, that the Joint Chiefs were bringing in someone who would follow the SGC mission objectives to the letter - Hammond had always used his own common sense when it came to procuring new technology. Sam knew there were people above Hammond who had been pressuring him to make the SGC more productive. 

'' Major Carter?'' 

She jerked upright and smiled at Boyd briefly. '' Sorry. Be there in a tick, guys.'' 

'' See you all in the gate room, then.'' He and Daniel left, talking in low voices. 

Colonel O'Neill seemed inclined to linger, half turned away from her, staring into the bottom of his locker. '' What did you think of him?'' 

'' Forsythe?'' She smiled. She didn't think it would be appropriate of her say she'd thought he was attractive. '' He disapproved of us.'' 

'' Of Daniel?'' 

'' And me, I imagine. One of the top scientists on the front line? Tut tut tut.'' She closed and locked her locker, wandered over to stand next to him. As usual when she was standing above him, she had this tingling urge to put a hand in his hair. It was funny - ever since she'd met him she'd started to have this thing for men with grey hair. Even movie stars lost their appeal if they didn't have distinguished tufts of grey at the temples. She had a really big thing for Richard Gere at the moment. 

'' Did you see the way he kept looking at you?'' 

Sam raised her eyebrows. '' No. I didn't. I'm sure you're just, er, over reacting.'' 

'' No. I know when men are checking out my... you.'' He winced in a big way. '' I was going to say wife. Sorry.'' 

'' It's really not your fault.'' She looked down at the band of gold around her wedding finger. He'd given it to her only the night before, casually tossing it onto the kitchen table. She'd wanted to ask where something so obviously antique had come from but decided that could only be awkward. After all, if it was something of sentimental value, she'd always wonder if he was holding her to anything. Then again, if he'd picked it up from a junk store, she'd feel ridiculously cheated. It was a no win situation. 

Colonel O'Neill seemed to find something funny. He reached out, snagged her hand, and ran his finger over the fake wedding ring. '' Does this make you awkward?'' 

'' A little bit.'' 

'' It seems cruel to make you wear it when you're not married. Are you superstitious?'' 

'' No. Scientist, remember?'' 

'' How could I forget? You chant the Periodic Table in your sleep.'' 

She'd heard that one before. Mornings off-world had been full of humorous stories of what each team member did as they slept. It had been something to put Daniel at ease. Early on, when he was still searching for Sha're, he'd had nightmares in his sleep a lot, woke everyone up. In an effort to make him less uncomfortable, Colonel O'Neill had informed everyone that Sam whispered the Periodic Table in her sleep. She, of course, had countered that he snored loud enough to wake the dead. Teal'c had pointed out that the dead couldn't be woken by mere snoring, but he did add that he'd noticed the leaves on the trees had shook each time the Colonel took in a breath. It had become one of many SG-1 traditions, one that she missed, actually. 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 

Though, technically, Colonel O'Neill, as 2IC of the SGF, was in charge of the mission, it was clear Colonel Forsythe wasn't going to be taking any orders. Tensing his jaw and talking through his teeth, Colonel O'Neill managed to maintain a level head and it seemed almost as if they were working together rather than butting their heads over every little thing. 

Initially, they argued over how the teams would be split. Colonel O'Neill argued for a simple SG-1, SG-2 split, whereas Colonel Forsythe seemed to want to jumble them up for some unfathomable reason. 

In the end, Colonel Forsythe took Sam, Thake and Boyd with him, leaving Colonel O'Neill with the two doctors and Hennersey. 

The planet was essentially deserted. The Stargate was situated in a park sized clearing, directly north of the gate was the Goa'uld fortress, empty but still in good condition. All around the clearing was mile upon mile of dense forest with overgrown but still visible roads branching, claw-like, from the clearing. In the distance, Sam could hear animals calling out to each other, and large, ferocious-looking birds swooped overhead, cawing loudly. 

The perimeter had to be checked before the teams would enter the stronghold, which was the job Forsythe had bagged for them. It had also been the reason he'd argued for leaving the non-military doctors with Colonel O'Neill. His team was going to check out the main entrance, allowing the doctors to confer over origin, date and so on. Obviously, Forsythe had no patience for that sort of thing. 

As they marched quietly around the perimeter of the clearing, Sam peered into the depths of the forest thinking that she was glad there were two teams on this mission rather than just the one. The four members of SG-1 alone on the planet for one night, maybe two, just didn't appeal. There was safety in numbers, after all. 

Sam didn't notice that Forsythe had dropped back with her until he spoke. 

'' I've looked over the list of planets you gave the General.'' 

He had? Sam glanced at him and tried to keep her expression neutral. '' Was there anything useful that you could see, Colonel?'' 

'' I'll need some clarification on certain details before I can decide. Would 0800 on Friday suit you?'' 

'' Er... sure, sir.'' 

He nodded swiftly. '' Come to my office, then.'' 

'' Yes, sir.'' 

It was with some relief that she watched him strike out ahead again. 

Perimeter secure, the walls of the fortress also investigated, the muddled team made their way to the south end of the stronghold where Colonel O'Neill was waiting impatiently. As Forsythe barked at the doctors to explain what they'd found, the Colonel raised his eyebrows at Sam to see if anything unusual had happened. She mouthed him a 'later' and he left it at that. 

Unfortunately, on first assessment of the stronghold (which brought back really unpleasant memories of Goa'uld motherships for Sam), everything that could have been useful had either been destroyed or removed. The crystals that formed an intricate part of their technology had been removed from all wall points. Still, the place was huge and by the time the teams had covered every floor and every room, checking for new technology, it was already late afternoon. 

'' Safer to spend the night in here,'' Colonel O'Neill decided. '' UAV suggested there are some large carnivorous animals in the forest that we might not want to meet late at night.'' 

'' Agreed. I suggest the front entrance room.'' 

Colonel O'Neill nodded. '' Pack up, then, campers. Double watch tonight.'' 

Dutifully, the rest of the team packed up what equipment had been used to detect electrical output, radiation and any other possible emissions Goa'uld technology would produce, while Daniel and Hadley, still chatting amicably away, rolled up their sheets of paper and packed away their notebooks and cameras. 

Daniel caught up with Sam almost immediately as they trailed down levels and happily told her all about the fortress they were going to spend the night in. While she was enjoying his enthusiasm (it was just so damn normal), she couldn't help but watch Colonel O'Neill's tense interaction with the equally tense Colonel Forsythe. 

Their meal was eaten mostly in silence, with the odd patter of talk between Daniel and Sam, Daniel and Hadley, Thake and Colonel O'Neill. Noticeably, the other members of SG-2 kept rather quiet. Boyd, who was apparently a family friend of Hennersey's, kept glancing at her in a worried fashion as she sat quietly on Forsythe's left. 

Through no manoeuvring of their own, Sam and Colonel O'Neill got third watch together. She awoke to find him looming over her, coffee in hand, finger over his lips. She sat up, aware that two other people were shuffling into their sleeping bags, and took a mouthful of hot coffee before she got up. 

The temperature had taken a decided dip and she did up the buttons of her shirt, picked up her jacket and weapon and followed Colonel O'Neill to the front entrance. Too late, she realised she'd forgotten her hat but decided not to bother the others while she fumbled around in the dark for it. 

Sam perched on the end of a giant lion's paw and, with one hand on the barrel of her gun, sipped the coffee, her eyes hungrily searching out the visible land in front of her. 

'' Creepy place.'' 

'' Too many trees, sir?'' 

He smiled, sat on the other paw, his eyes following the same route as hers. '' My tree complex is apparently universal. Or would that be uni-reality?'' 

She smiled. 

'' So what did he say to you?'' 

'' I have a meeting with him Friday morning. Wants to hear more details about the planets I've visited.'' 

'' Now why would the leader of SG-2 want to do that, then?'' he wondered sarcastically. 

Somewhere in the distance something howled. 

'' Now _that_ was creepy,'' Sam murmured, feeling goosebumps rise up on her arms. She glanced at him and found herself comfortable, for the first time, in his presence. '' What's up with Hennersey, do you think?'' 

'' The same thing that bothers you when you get a new CO, I imagine.'' 

Sam thought about that for a moment, smiled, and lowered her head. '' Ah. I see. Proving herself. How could I forget?'' 

He grinned easily. '' Can I ask you something? You didn't meet the other me like me and Sam met... now that sounded weird, but never mind... how did you meet?'' 

'' Second mission to Abydos in 1997. I was transferred from the Pentagon as a Stargate expert.'' 

'' Same as my Sam, except, well, she transferred earlier. Do you know anything else? About the other me?'' 

Sam swallowed, telling herself it was only natural that he was curious. '' I know that he was recently separated from his wife, Sara. He didn't like me initially because I was scientist and, though he swears this isn't true, and a woman. He didn't want me on his team. I found out later than shortly before the first mission to Abydos... his son shot himself with his father's sidearm.'' She licked her lips, her eyes flicking to him and back to the forest. He'd closed his eyes. 

Slowly, Colonel O'Neill nodded, asking her to continue. 

'' He was selected to go on the first mission because of his, er, state of mind. It was supposed to be a suicide mission, after all. But they used the bomb to blow up Apophis's ship, Daniel stayed behind with Sha're, promising to bury the Stargate once the others returned, which he duly did. Colonel O'Neill returned home but, then, in 1997 the Stargate reactivated and he was called out of retirement by General Hammond. The beginning of the story.'' 

'' You said he didn't like you - I'll bet that didn't last long.'' 

'' Oh, no, we grew to be friends after I saved his ass a few times. But then...'' She made a face and put her cooled coffee tin on the ground by her feet. '' Well, suffice to say, after a couple of years of really touch-and-go stuff, we're back to normal now. As normal as things in the SGC get.'' 

'' What do you mean?'' 

'' Which bit?'' 

'' I thought you and... him weren't having a relationship.'' 

'' We're not. That's part of the problem.'' Oh well, might as well talk this out with someone. Even if she couldn't ever, ever talk to the real person she wanted to discuss this with. '' The thing is... we were kinda forced to air our feelings about each other in front of an audience before we'd even contemplated telling each other.'' 

'' How?'' 

'' Through zay'tarc testing?'' 

'' The Tokra lie detection thing?'' 

'' Yeah. Well, everyone in the SGC was tested to make sure none of us were Goa'uld assassins. Colonel O'Neill and I came up positive - they thought we were zay'tarcs. It wasn't until it was nearly too late that I realised we'd missed out rather pertinent parts of our reports because they suggested... a more than fraternal relationship between myself and my CO. We were re-tested in front of Teal'c, Janet and Anise and, let's not forget, the security cameras, admitting as little as we could get away with, which wasn't much.'' 

'' Ah.'' 

'' Yeah.'' She blew out a breath. '' So we avoided each other like crazy, well aware that Hammond probably knew and that we were walking on egg shells even though we hadn't done anything.'' 

'' You weren't willing to just... ignore the frat regs?'' 

'' I was tempted too.... even seriously considered it on the odd occasion,'' namely a certain person's invitations to go fishing, '' but... I'm his 2IC and I always thought that the frat regs were there for a reason. If anything, this experience has taught me that. Work and personal lives just don't mix well. Maybe when the war is over...'' 

'' Does the war seem like it's gonna end any time soon, Sam?'' he asked gently. 

She glared at him. '' Look, I'm trying to deal with this in the best way I can...'' 

'' I can see that, and I understand, really. But I've seen it from the other side. It can work, Sam, and it does.'' 

'' You can still say that now?'' 

'' I can and I do. There's nothing worse than regret, Sam.'' 

'' It's different here. You met before. She wasn't directly under your command.'' 

'' As 2IC of the base, she most definitely was. There are ways and means. I know for certain Hammond wouldn't remove you.'' 

'' And you?'' 

He looked down at his boots. '' Well, maybe it's about time I retired anyway.'' 

'' See, I don't think so. I couldn't imagine the SGC without you, and you love it there.'' 

'' Sam, I loved... love being a father. I love being a husband. When I was married to Sara, the job came first. The second time round, things were different, are different. I was already considering retiring to spend more time with Matt before Sam left. I'm sure your Jack has thought about it, and if you were an option, I'm sure he seriously considered it.'' 

'' But...'' 

'' Sam, probably the best person to talk to about this is him. You know that.'' 

'' He's not exactly handy at the moment, Colonel.'' 

The right corner of his mouth quirked. '' That's all up to you and Daniel, isn't it?'' 

She looked at him sharply. '' So you've sorted that out in your head, have you?'' 

'' Took me a while.'' 

'' We should have been more sensitive.'' 

'' You're the one trapped in an alternate reality.'' 

'' Trapped suggests that it's horrible here. It's not horrible. It's just... not home.'' 

He reached out, brushed his fingers over her shoulder. She could barely feel it, but the knowledge that he'd reached out warmed her. '' Didn't I promise you we'd go shopping?'' 

'' Er... kinda.'' 

'' Right. Must do that. Think I keep repressing it.'' He shuddered. '' Shopping for women's clothes is a scary business.'' 

'' Done it a lot, Colonel?'' 

'' Sam went on this kick shortly before we were married, dragging me everywhere. Said she was testing me. If I could handle shopping with her then we were going to be okay, or something.'' He shook his head. '' Women.'' 

Sam giggled. '' Shopping is the one thing I do without any logic. I don't know why. Actually, that's not true. It was my mom. She was a crazy shopper too. I guess girls pick up habits from their mothers.'' 

'' Oh, for crying out loud.'' 


	8. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight** (Beneath the Surface) 

'' A Beta site?'' 

'' Yeah. We have an Alpha site. It would make sense that we had a Beta site in the works. And a Gamma, sort of.'' 

Sam wondered if they had a 'Beta site in the works' back at home. She'd never been so close to the command structure before, but living with this Colonel O'Neill had certainly changed that. Suddenly she was a bouncing board for all his ideas - and he had millions of them. She'd never known before quite how well versed he was in all sorts of tactics and strategies. Of course, she'd noticed that his dress blues were littered with medals - her father had pointed them out to her after the first time he'd met Colonel O'Neill, not that they were easy to miss or anything - but, well, it had never connected in her mind that the guy was therefore full of useful military information and theories. Perhaps it was the self-depreciating way he came across to her. 

'' You have to expect it, wouldn't you? With you and Daniel on my team.'' 

Sam had never thought about it like that before. 

'' Sam, you can't get to Colonel without a modicum of intelligence. Throwing yourself into suicidal situations will only get you so far in the military,'' he said bluntly, slapping her butt with the tea towel before presenting it to her. Yawning broadly, he stretched with his eyes closed and Sam found her eyes travelling to the brown inch of skin between his jeans and his raised jumper. She quickly averted her eyes and stared out of the window. 

'' Well, I'm off to bed. Night, Sam.'' 

'' Night, Jack,'' she said vaguely, staring at her reflection in the dark window. She watched his reflection walk off. 

Shaking her head, she dried the last plate, the last few knives (how did they get through all those knives in just one meal?), and decided it was probably time for her to go on up too. 

She was flicking off lights all the way to the hallway before she remembered they hadn't closed the curtains in the lounge. She bumped her knee on the coffee table, swore, rounded behind the sofa and nearly knocked over a standing lamp. Rolling her eyes at her clumsiness, she grabbed one edge of the thick curtains and started pulling them to the middle. It was almost ridiculous quite how used she'd got to this domesticity with Colonel O'Neill. More and more frequently, she'd dropped the 'sir' and 'Colonel' and resorted to calling him 'Jack', and he hadn't even insisted on it. They had some downtime coming up in a few weeks and he'd casually mentioned that he was going up to the cabin and there was plenty of room for her as well. And because she felt so safe with him - he was married, after all - she'd said she'd love to. And she hadn't keeled over and died on the spot, either. No one had snuck out of the woodwork (or metal work, in the case of the SGF) and strung her up. Janet hadn't tut-tutted, her father hadn't scowled and condemned her. 

The phone started ringing, which made Sam jump. She knew there weren't any phones upstairs, not even in the offices, so she climbed over the sofa and grabbed the blinking object from its special stand. '' Hello?'' 

'' Hey, Sam,'' someone yawned. 

Hey, yawns were even catching over the phone. '' Cassy? What are you doing up? Isn't it a school night?'' 

'' You know, I just love having two mothers.'' 

Sam snorted. '' It's called being an adult, Cass. What is it?'' 

'' Look, don't shout at me, but I'm doing my homework.'' 

'' It's nearly half past eleven!'' 

'' Believe me, this is early for some people I know. I'm doing Math.'' 

'' Uh-huh.'' Sam went to stand in the hallway, looking up at Colonel O'Neill who was standing midway down the stairs. He raised his eyebrows at her. '' Cassy, I'm not sure I can help you with your Math homework.'' 

His grin was broad and genuine. 

'' Is this an ethical reason?'' Cassy asked suspiciously. 

'' No. It's a tired reason. I'm tired.'' 

'' Sam! Come on, Mom's completely stumped, too. She's pacing. And if I don't get a good grade on this, my teacher'll kill me. And then Mom will. And you know General Hammond will find out and then I'll get a phone call saying I'm letting down Earth or something.'' 

Sam rolled her eyes dramatically. '' All right then, hit me.'' 

'' Excellent!'' 

So after half an hour of explaining sin, cos and tan, Sam was finally able to get off the phone. She just about managed to put the phone back properly in its stand before succumbing to tiredness and half-crawling up the stairs. Washing her face and brushing her teeth seemed beyond her - even though half her brain was protesting that it was only twelve o'clock and she was in the prime of life - so she fell face down on her bed in the dark with the curtains open and the door ajar. 

Naturally, she woke in exactly the same position, her body protesting mightily. At least she didn't have to get changed, she thought positively, rolling onto her feet and stretching. A good workout would probably do wonders for her kinks and she wandered downstairs to find something healthy to eat. 

'' Morning,'' she greeted the Colonel, who was perched on the sofa, watching the early morning news. 

'' Storm. Big one. Snow. Lots of it,'' he said, eyes fixed on the screen. 

'' Snow?'' 

'' It is December.'' 

God. So it was. She looked at the calendar. December 4th. '' Christmas!'' 

'' Yeah.'' 

'' Presents!'' 

He leaned to the side and looked at her in the kitchen. '' Don't sweat it. Everyone will understand.'' 

'' What about Mark? The kids? And surely I have friends outside of work, or something?'' 

'' A couple. But you've kind of lost touch, what with your project in Europe and all.'' He raised his eyebrows at her significantly, reminding her of her cover story. '' As for Mark, you have a pact not to buy each other presents at Christmas. I'm not sure about the kids; I haven't seen them in over two years.'' He picked up his cup of coffee, raised it to his lips. '' But I expect a present.'' 

She narrowed her eyes at him threateningly. '' I hate you.'' 

He grinned. '' I want to get to work early today. When will you be ready?'' 

'' Why are we going in together?'' 

'' Weren't you listening? Storm. Big one. Snow. My truck has snow tires. Your car cringes at mizzle.'' 

'' Oh.'' And she was sure 'mizzle' wasn't a word. And her car was a classic. Classic cars liked nice warm garages. What was wrong with that? 

She looked closer at the calendar and saw that the week of their downtime was Christmas week. He'd drawn a red line down that week and scrawled 'cabin' beside it. Christmas at the cabin. Huh. She really would have to get him a present or he'd be in a foul mood the whole week. '' I hope you're getting me one.'' 

'' Already got it.'' 

She dropped the sheet of the calendar. '' Please be kidding.'' 

He grinned. '' Nope.'' 

'' Oh, for crying out loud,'' she muttered, grabbing a cereal bear from the cupboard and storming back upstairs. 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 

'' I've reviewed your request and I tend to agree, it would be useful if we kept up continuous contact with this planet,'' General Thomas said, looking at the both of them over his steepled hands. '' However, I'm not sure why SG-1 needs to be the ones doing the contact.'' 

'' Ah, that's mainly due to me, General,'' Daniel said, smiling as sweetly as possible and trying not to babble. '' I'd personally like to check out the 'book store' to see if there are any more informative texts, particularly those of the Goa'uld language, which are undeniably useful.'' 

'' Undeniably,'' the General agreed, nodding once. 

'' And I'd like to see what sort of technology was on offer there. It also occurs to me that there must be other planets that do this sort of trading, so we could ask around while we're there,'' Sam added in a well-measured voice, trying not to sound too enthusiastic. Wouldn't want to get him suspicious, after all. 

'' What does Colonel O'Neill think of all this?'' 

Sam and Daniel glanced at each other. 

'' The lack of trees, he said, was appealing, but beyond that he didn't say much else,'' Daniel said, smiling slightly. They'd discussed, between them, the necessity of keeping Colonel O'Neill's name out of the plan as much as possible. After all, he would still have a career to come home too. 

General Thomas seemed to find this amusing. '' Well, the SGF schedule is fairly tight at the moment. But I can see that such a mission would be beneficial, particularly with regards to technology. I'll keep it in mind.'' 

Sam sighed internally. For the time being, she guessed that was the best they could do. '' Thank you, sir.'' 

'' On another note, did you both get your invitations this morning?'' 

'' Yes, General. Black tie, General?'' 

'' Will that be a problem, Dr Jackson?'' 

'' No, sir. Just... I'll have to rent one, I suppose.'' 

Since Sam didn't have a clue what they were talking about, she looked from one to the other blankly. 

Daniel took pity on her. '' It'll be in your in-tray. Under that stack of sheets Jack dumped on you this morning. It's the SGF's annual Presidential dinner. There's a strict non-uniform dress code. So you don't scare the locals.'' 

'' Oh.'' Huh. They'd had nothing like that back home. 

'' I expect both of you to attend. As key members of SG-1 you will be on the second table and you will make yourself available for the President.'' 

'' Yes, sir,'' they chorused dutifully. 

'' Right. Dismissed.'' 

Sam saluted automatically, Daniel did his usual slightly confused half-wave, and they left the office, closing the door behind him. '' Damn,'' she realised. '' I'm going to have a find a dress, aren't I?'' 

'' You and the rest of the female members of the SGF. I've already had an earful from Dr Fraiser this morning,'' Daniel murmured, looking around him to make sure the doctor wasn't in range. '' She was muttering something about having more important things to do than prancing around in something that cost more than she made in a month.'' 

Sam's brow furrowed. Since she'd never had to attend something like this before, she'd never heard Janet complain about shopping for formal dresses. '' Why doesn't she just rent something?'' 

'' See! That's what I said! I got a really nasty needle jab for that comment,'' he told her, absently rubbing his upper arm. '' She says formal dresses aren't made in her size.'' 

Sam's mouth formed an 'o' shape in understanding. '' I'll ask her to go shopping. Then she can laugh at me. I look dreadful in formal dresses. Like an elongated Barbie without the...'' She started to gesture at her chest, then stopped midway, smiled at a blushing Daniel. She patted him on the shoulder. '' Never mind, Daniel.'' 

He snorted. '' Thanks for sparing me.'' 

They went their separate ways, Daniel back to his office and Sam to seek out Janet. 

Janet, for once, had a few minutes to herself and she was quietly savouring her first cup of coffee in her office. She gave Sam a withering look when she didn't even bother to knock but refrained from saying anything. 

She dropped onto a chair with a sigh. '' Do you want to go shopping for formal dresses at the weekend?'' 

Janet sighed. '' Oh God. Don't.'' 

'' I promise you, I'll have a worse time finding something than you.'' 

'' Why! You're tall and thin! I'm short and... curvy.'' 

'' You're not short.'' 

'' I am. I know I am. I'm petite. Unfortunately, I'm not skinny petite, which is all the world seems to cater for. Dammit.'' She plonked her coffee down and looked remarkably like a mutinous pixie. '' I can't wear the same thing I wore last year and the year before that and the year before that. It's out of date, doesn't fit me particularly well and rubs under my arms.'' 

Sam was having a hard time not smiling. She'd seriously never seen Janet this aggravated about something so unimportant. Then again, this woman wasn't her Janet. '' Just how formal is this thing?'' 

'' You didn't have them back... where you come from?'' 

'' Never. If we had anything remotely important like this, I just wore my dress blues.'' 

'' See? That's what I think! We should be able to wear our dress blues. But since the other half of the occasion will be non-military, it's thought more kind that we don't look like a great sea of blue and white and make them nervous. Which is just ridiculous. If anything, the sight of a couple of hundred men and women in uniform should be a comfort. You know, I think I'm going to write an email in complaint...'' 

'' So, no shopping?'' 

'' No, no, I'll come with you. If we get this done early...'' 

'' That's a point; when is it?'' 

'' February 13th, of course. Just in time to ruin everyone's Valentine's Day.'' 

'' That far away?'' Sam didn't want to say it in front of Janet, but there was a possibility that Sam wouldn't be there. 

God, that was a hopeful thought. Home by February 13th. It gave her a little glow just thinking about it. 

'' They like to rope everyone in. Remember to RSVP or the General will come down on you like a tonne of bricks.'' 

'' Right. Um, Saturday?'' 

'' Sure. Do you want me to pick you up?'' 

'' Yeah, that'd be great.'' 

'' Nine-ish?'' 

'' Sure.'' Since she had Samantha O'Neill's signature down to a T there would be no need to lug Colonel O'Neill with her, which he would no doubt be grateful for. If, indeed, he'd even glanced in his in-tray and seen the invitation. After all, there were about fifty separate sheets of paper over hers. She wondered if he had a tux. 

'' Oh, Sam, I forgot to thank you. For Cassy. She was driving me up the wall last night.'' 

'' That's okay.'' 

'' She used to be so good with her homework. She'd come home from school, have a snack, go up to her room and scribble away. I think it was the novelty of it. Now she's a teenager, the later it gets done the better.'' 

Sam grinned, remembering that phase well. She leaned forward and snagged Janet's stethoscope. '' I always used to do Math homework in Biology class.'' 

'' Didn't you get in trouble?'' 

'' I sat at the back. No one noticed. Or, if they did, they didn't say anything. Cassy mentioned any subjects she's particularly interested in?'' 

'' Nope. Should I be worried? I knew what I wanted to be from as early as I can remember.'' 

'' It's different for everyone.'' She breathed onto the stethoscope and listened through the earpieces. '' I don't think I could say theoretical astrophysicist when I was eight.'' 

Janet laughed. '' Sam, give me my stethoscope back. It makes me nervous when other people play with it.'' She waggled her hand over the desk until Sam dropped the instrument into her hand. '' Perhaps I ought to get her a careers book for Christmas.'' 

'' Janet!'' 

'' What? I'm that type of parent. I put socks in her stocking as well.'' 

Sam giggled. '' So did my mom. Dad used to put satsumas in as well. Never knew why.'' 

'' Parents are a mystery until you have children yourself. I can't tell you the number of times I've run around Christmas Eve trying to find things to put in the damned stocking. I swear it gets bigger every year. Cassy's always terribly smug because she'll have mine done by mid afternoon and there it'll be, hanging over the fireplace while I'm hunting around for packets of chewing gum that have gone missing in my handbag, or toys I got free from Happy Meals.'' 

Janet ate _Happy Meals?_ That was just... wrong. '' You don't think Colonel O'Neill will expect a stocking do you? I know he wants a present, which'll be hard enough.'' 

'' Of course he'll expect a stocking! Men are children,'' Janet said scornfully, reaching for her coffee again. 

'' I guess I'll have to do my Christmas shopping this weekend as well.'' 

'' Going up to the cabin?'' 

'' Yup. My first time, actually, assuming it's the same cabin.'' 

'' I'll bet he invited you though.'' 

Janet, too, had also heard all about Sam's relationship with 'the other Colonel', which was strange because Sam tended to keep quiet about it with 'the other Janet'. After all, the Janet back at home hadn't wanted Sam to hurt her career by giving in to her feelings. She'd been right, of course, though Sam couldn't help but wishing, on occasion, that her Janet back home had been a little more... open to the idea so that Sam wouldn't have to clam up about that part of her life. And it was a big part of her life, no doubt about it. '' Yes.'' 

'' You were never tempted to go?'' 

'' Every single time. In fact, one time I refused him, then ran after him to let him persuade me and....'' 

The doctor leaned forward slightly. '' And...'' 

'' Thor whisked him away to his replicator infested ship.'' 

Janet winced. '' Nice timing.'' 

'' Perfect. After that I realised, not for the first time, that work would always get in the way. So I kept saying no until he stopped asking me.'' Feeling rather deflated now, Sam slumped in her chair and remembered the last time she'd seen him, he'd just returned from a cabin trip she hadn't been invited to. 

'' I suppose he stopped wanting to be rejected, Sam. It can't have been nice for him, even though you lived for the invitations,'' Janet said quietly, in the kindest tone she could manage. 

'' I should have told him.... that I didn't want him to stop inviting me. That one day I would say yes. It didn't occur to me until recently that perhaps he couldn't wait any more. That there might be someone else he'd want to invite.'' 

'' Sam?'' 

'' Yeah?'' 

'' You're making yourself miserable.'' 

She sighed deeply. '' I know.'' 

And strangely enough, that feeling dogged her for the rest of the day. She worked quietly in her lab, trying to keep her mind off him, ate her lunch in her office as she drafted her reports, went to a budget meeting at three and spent any free time she had pouring over all the reports she could find. She knew only too well that she would need to get a move and find out the reason for Samantha Carter's disappearance before she got her chance to go home herself. It had been very important in the beginning to clear her counterparts name just to prove to Colonel O'Neill that he had been wrong, but now it was becoming a personal obsession. 

For some reason, the secrets the couple had kept from the authorities, from General Hammond, kept ringing a bell quietly in her head. Major Carter didn't go on any missions during the time Colonel O'Neill was on Edora - the same in her own reality - because she was working hard on bringing him home. There had been a couple under Colonel Makepeace's command, but they were small time, mineral surveys and the like. 

Sam wasn't the type of person to keep a journal, but that didn't mean this one wasn't. It wouldn't be safe to keep one at home, so the only likely possibility was on the computer in the lab or her office. Having searched both thoroughly, she'd found nothing. She'd searched through her paper filing system several times, finding everything in its place and not exactly sure what she was looking for. 

Feeling conspicuous, she'd also ran her hands all over the insides and outside of her office desk, looking for any compartments or anomalies. On the occasion when she'd had call to hide things - ranging from her secret stash of candy bars to expensive pieces of equipment she didn't want Colonel O'Neill breaking - she'd taped it to the underside of drawers, but that had revealed nothing. She also figured that if anything had been left behind, the search team would have found it shortly after Samantha left. 

So what did she know? 

Both Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter had naquadah in their blood from being blended, against their will, with Goa'uld. 

Was it possible that someone had found out? It was an offence to lie in reports, of course, but Sam was sure this wasn't the case. Why would someone use that to threaten Sam? Why not Colonel O'Neill? And, what's more, why would she feel the need to run from Earth with Matthew? 

In fact, the only reason Sam could see for her taking Matthew with her was to protect him. She must have felt only she could do that and it could only be done away from Earth, which meant the threat was on Earth and possibly within the SGF. 

'' Sam?'' 

'' Huh?'' 

'' Home?'' 

She glanced at her watch. '' Oh God. Sure. Give me a few minutes.'' 

He smiled at her kindly, his hands in his jeans pockets. '' Hard day?'' 

'' Tedious, more like. You?'' 

'' Not so bad. Paperwork, a few meetings. Oh, man, is that what I think it is?'' He reached forward and plucked the invitation up. '' I missed this. February 13th. Well that's just peachy.'' 

'' Janet and I are going dress shopping at the weekend.'' She reached up to cover a yawn that escaped. 

He made a face. '' Tux. Oh, crap, I'll have to start practising tying a bow tie again.'' 

Sam's mouth corners twitched. '' I can do it.'' 

'' You can!'' 

'' Yeah. Can't....'' 

He shook his head, eyes changing slightly but his mouth keeping its smile. '' No. She's worse than I am. Great! Well that's a load off my mind.'' 

She snorted. All right for some, she supposed. 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 

Janet found her dress ten minutes into the shopping trip, no exaggeration. It was green, metallic looking, long and kind of... well, Sam didn't have all the technical words for it so all she could think of was that it came in at the waist and went out and had bit of a train. It was gorgeous and suited Janet down to the ground. 

'' No bra!'' Janet said excitedly, jumping up and down in the changing rooms to show that the tight top gave her all the support she needed. 

Sam scowled. '' You look beautiful.'' 

Smugly, Janet wandered back into the changing room and closed the curtain. '' What about the blue dress?'' 

'' I hate blue dresses.'' Which wasn't strictly true. She'd just started hating them ever since she'd been forced into one off-world. Ever since then anything blue and ornate gave her the creeps and reminded her of female oppression. She couldn't help it. She didn't think she was particularly feminist, she just believed that there were certain things a woman didn't have to put up with just because her reproductive organs were on the inside rather than the outside. 

'' Well, Sam, you know your colouring will mostly allow you to wear anything.'' 

Sam sighed. '' I'll be outside if you need me, Janet.'' 

'' Okay.'' 

Sam wandered around the formal dress section of the store, pulling out the odd dress that appealed to her. She really didn't know what she was looking for. She wasn't exactly a follower of fashion, just grabbed whatever appealed to her. She knew she didn't particularly want to stick out at the dinner, which left out strong colours. Pastels, she supposed, were the way to go. 

There was nothing that stuck out in that particular store so she and Janet wandered around the clothes shops, running up and down flights of stairs, leaning against walls in elevators, until Janet made them stop for a very late lunch. Doctor's orders, she said. They ate sandwiches in a small, well heated but rather empty cafe and chatted inconsequentially, both of them fairly well pleased to be away from the SGF for a weekend doing something sociable. This Janet, Sam found, was different from hers. Subtly, but definitely. For one thing, she'd once had an affair with her CO, which shocked Sam no end. 

'' I was fresh out of medical school, Sam. Very young in military experience, really. I knew the regulations but it seemed to me that they were just a guideline and that nothing would actually go wrong.'' 

'' And?'' 

She inclined her head. '' Nothing did go wrong. We had a relationship, enjoyed each others company outside of work, and when it petered out, it petered out. No one got hurt but... there were rumours. I lost a friend or two who staunchly disapproved, and I regretted that.'' 

'' But you didn't regret the relationship? Compromising yourself for something that didn't work out?'' 

'' No. How could I? We were both adults. I enjoyed myself. Then again, it wasn't as if we were in combat together.'' 

Sam sighed, agreeing with the difference in situation between herself and Janet. '' I suppose my main worry was that we'd be in a situation where he'd be forced to choose, me or someone else. And he'd made a decision based on his emotions.'' 

'' And you believe Colonel O'Neill would choose wrongly?'' 

'' Don't you? I mean, isn't that what he did here?'' 

'' Here is different, Sam. Here, she was his wife, and she had taken his son from him. No man would react emotionlessly to that.'' 

'' True. It is very different here.'' She smiled whimsically. '' I heard you delivered the baby.'' 

Janet rolled her eyes and brushed crumbs off her jeans. '' Yes, and if I wasn't a Major in the USAF I would have blushed at the abuse you, she, hurled at her husband.'' 

Sam grinned and leaned back in the chair. '' When was he born?'' 

'' September 7th, 1996, at 0227. Eight pounds and three ounces,'' she reeled off with medical precision 

'' That's big, right?'' 

She shrugged her shoulders delicately. '' Average. He was full term, actually. The only baby I've ever delivered on its due date. Typical soldier's baby. Prompt.'' She giggled at her own joke. '' You know he's named after me?'' 

'' Matthew?'' 

'' Matthew Fraser O'Neill.'' 

'' That's so sweet!'' 

Janet grinned. '' I was pretty pleased at the time. So were they. He really was the most adorable baby. Had most of the SGF wrapped around his baby fingers by the time he was two. Because of the naquadah in his blood, we had him in for regular check-ups, just to make sure.'' 

Though she was internally wincing from the fact that Janet was acting under the impression that Matthew's parents had naquadah in their blood 'by accident', or whatever she thought, she was interested in the health of a baby born with the element in its blood. After all, she did hope to have children someday. '' Any problems?'' 

'' None that we could see. Didn't start floating around the room, or anything. Though he did have a particularly bad case of chicken pox,'' she added irreverently. '' Anyway, the present. Shopping. Dress.'' 

Sam groaned. '' Oh for crying out loud.'' 

'' Oh, stop whining. We'll find you something.'' 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 

Crunching through the slushy snow on the driveway, a dress bag over her arm, Sam grinned at Jack who was holding the door open for her. '' You've been gone for days,'' he remarked as she stepped inside and hung the dress up temporarily on the coat hanger. 

'' Miss me?'' 

He blinked. '' Well, yes, actually.'' 

Shocked, she glanced at him. '' Oh. Well. You could have come, but I didn't...'' 

'' Sam, it doesn't matter. I'm just... getting used to... What did you buy?'' he managed in the end, fitfully running a hand through his hair. 

Sam unlaced her shoes and kicked them off. She grabbed the hanger and took it into the lounge, dropping her hangbag onto a sofa and casting off her coat. '' It took me hours to find it, but it's perfect.'' She unzipped the plastic and carefully pulled the dress out. The lamps made the medium metallic grey glimmer slightly but she knew the cool colour looked good with her skin and hair, didn't make her feel flashy. There were no straps, it was form fitting from the chest down to her waist, then, like Janet's, came out at the waist into a fuller skirt. It was lined, which would keep her warm, and all she'd have to do was search out some kind of a wrap to go with it. And shoes, of course. But she could always rummage in her counterpart's closet for them. 

He whistled appreciatively. The grin on his face was a mile wide, and softened his expression considerably. He always looked so much more friendly when he was genuinely happy, which, with this Colonel O'Neill, only happened when he forgot she wasn't his wife. 

'' Yeah, I was pretty pleased, too,'' she agreed. '' Janet nearly bought it for me, she was so relieved. She found her dress almost immediately.'' 

'' So you had a nice day?'' 

'' Very nice. It was lovely to be out of the SGF.'' 

'' You work too hard.'' 

From the tone of his voice, it was a line he had used before. '' So do you,'' she pointed out, as she had always wanted to but never could. 

He grinned, almost as if he expected it. '' Do you want to go out to dinner tonight? I don't really feel like cooking and you... can't.'' 

She narrowed her eyes threateningly. '' Won't,'' she correct. '' It's different. But, yes, I would like to. Where do you have in mind?'' 

'' That new place?'' 

She knew which one he meant - he'd been pointing it out to her every day. '' Yeah, good idea.'' 

'' I'll phone, see if they'll have space for us.'' 

'' And if they don't?'' 

'' I'll point out that I'm a Colonel in the USAF and I can blew up their itty bitty restaurant on a whim.'' 

'' That's not funny.'' 


	9. Chapter Nine

AN: Thank you all those reviewing. I'll be going through the rest of the chapters trying to improve upon them with the suggestions nicely offered to me - first time I ever really understood the meaning of constructive criticism. Thanks! 

**Chapter Nine** (A Matter of Time) 

Sam's luminous computer screen flickered once, twice, then the flicker became a flutter and before she'd had time to save, the screen went. And so did all the lights in the cabin. '' Jack!'' 

He stopped whatever loud thing he was doing in the kitchen behind her. '' I got it!'' 

Despite her frustration (dammit, that was an important document), she couldn't help but grin cheerfully to herself. The fire was still going to her left, spitting and crackling and emitting a lovely, warm, some how Christmassy glow. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had a real fire at Christmas. Last Christmas, she and Daniel had flown to Egypt because she'd made the mistake of saying considering how steeped in Egyptian mythology they were it was a pity she'd never really spent any time seeing the real thing. Not that she hadn't enjoyed herself - it was just that it hadn't really been Christmas. The previous Christmas she'd spent with her dad, Mark and his family. That had been a real family Christmas. But this time... this time she was spending it with probably the one person she really wanted to spend all her Christmases with. 

The lights flickered on as Jack dealt with the generator and came back into the cabin, smirking to himself. '' See? Not the only genius, are we?'' 

She would have said something about the generator being older than she was, but she didn't want to hurt his feelings. Inside, she went back to her laptop to see if it had auto-saved recently before the power had gone out. 

Jack climbed back onto the sofa, sprawling out on his front, the new astronomy book she had got him for Christmas in his hands. He rested his chin on his linked fingers and continued reading. In the beginning, when he'd first started reading it, she'd been concerned he was just doing it for show but since he appeared to be genuinely interested, and was probably about a hundred pages in already, she'd long since given up worrying that it hadn't been a good present. She'd also done him a stocking, which had thrilled him no end. Though it had mostly been filled with chocolate, candy and wind up toys, he'd taken great delight in sending chattering teeth across the kitchen floorboards or showing her the tricks he could do with the yo-yo. 

Janet was right. Men were children. Young ones. 

Sam sat back in the sofa, pulled the laptop carefully onto her lap and smiled when she saw she hadn't lost as much as she'd feared. 

'' So, you've really never been here before?'' 

She shook her head. 

He leaned his cheek on his head and blinked at her. '' I've had SG-1 up here a couple of times. I would have thought....'' 

'' He's had Teal'c up here. Fishing. He's... invited me. Alone.'' She lifted her eyes from the screen and saw that he had his eyebrows raised. 

'' That's practically like asking you out,'' he pointed out. '' What did you say? No, I suppose.'' 

'' I had to. He's my CO!'' 

'' Is that the only reason you said no?'' 

'' What do you mean?'' 

'' If he wasn't your CO, Sam, would you have said no?'' 

Sam opened her mouth to say, no, of course not. She'd have said yes, wasn't it obvious? Then she thought about it. Really thought about it. 

'' Because, when I first met Sam, my Sam, she was kinda freaked about the whole dating thing. I mean, we were going to meet professionally only a few weeks later, but I coaxed her out with me a few times before. When things got serious, and with me and her it got serious really quickly, she started pulling away. She'd had some bad experiences with Air Force men before.'' 

And Sam tried very, very hard not to think of Jonas Hanson at this point. Because Jack O'Neill was nothing like Jonas Hanson. Nothing at all. 

Sure, they were Air Force. Special ops trained. There had certainly been some classifieds in Jonas's past too. Some open, bleeding emotional wounds. 

Eventually, realising that he was expecting an answer, Sam lowered her eyes to her screen and 'um'd. '' Well, if he persevered, like you did, I'm sure I would have said yes.'' 

'' How many times has he asked you to the cabin?'' 

'' Five times,'' she answered immediately. 

'' And each time you said no. Did you have a good excuse for any of them?'' 

'' Work.'' 

'' I said a _good_ excuse. Presumably, with you all in SG-1 together, you'd have the same downtime. What could you have possibly be doing during your downtime that could have been so important?'' 

Fixing a motorcycle up, playing Solitaire, helping Daniel search for his favourite coffee mug.... '' Look, Jack, don't have a go at me about this. Believe me, I've done it enough myself. Me and Colonel O'Neill... alone... it's just not a good idea.'' 

'' You don't trust him?'' 

'' I don't trust either of us.'' 

'' Sam, he wouldn't do anything unless you wanted to.'' 

Sam smiled faintly, knowing he was telling the truth. The Colonel was a master of self-control when it came down to her... them. But, if she was honest, it wasn't him she was worried about. '' If I went with him to the cabin, I would want him to do something. _I_ would want to do something.'' 

'' You couldn't spend time together without taking a step further in your relationship? You couldn't stay friends?'' 

'' Would you have wanted to be just friends with your Sam?'' 

'' If that was all I could have.'' 

'' The Colonel and I are friends.'' 

'' Sam, I'm not sure you are. Friends don't call each other by their titles.'' 

'' We do, okay? Jack, it's not as simple as it was for you. Hammond knows something's up, so does Janet and Teal'c and the grapevine is keeping Daniel informed so the whole time we're on base it feels like we're being watched. We can't do anything without it being misconstrued. And it's gotten to the stage when I leave the base and it _still_ feels like we're being watched. Working in the SGC, on SG-1, means so much to me, Jack, and I know he feels the same way. We can't compromise what we have.'' 

'' Okay, okay,'' he said quickly, defensively. '' I'm sorry for rubbing salt in the wound.'' 

Wound? Big, gaping hole, more like. God, she missed him. All of a sudden, all that warm contentment had disappeared and she felt like her heart was bleeding. What would he be doing now? They hadn't made any Christmas plans yet, as a team. Teal'c usually went home to see his son, but she never knew what the Colonel did. Christmas had to be a pretty miserable time for him, reflecting on what he had lost. His son and wife. 

Unless... '' God, do you think....'' 

He opened the eyes that had closed. '' What?'' 

Sam shook her head, looked down at the blinking cursor. '' Jack, do you think your Sam and Colonel O'Neill are...'' 

For a moment, he was utterly still. '' He'd better fucking not be.'' 

Despite herself, she smiled at the assumption he'd jumped to. '' I mean, making friends. Not anything else, Jack. He wouldn't do that. _She_ wouldn't do that.'' 

'' No, of course not. Damn, but that was horrible feeling.'' He rolled onto his back, taking the book with him and laying it open on his stomach. '' I hope Matt has a good Christmas.'' 

'' I wonder if they've been allowed off-base. She does look rather different than me.'' 

'' Deep space radar telemetry hairdressers?'' he suggested. 

'' I suppose I could pass Matt off as a cousin, or a nephew. I imagine, if he knows, the Colonel would probably want to spend time with him.'' 

'' I know I would. It'll be painful for him when... if Matt leaves.'' 

'' When,'' Sam corrected firmly, saving her document and shutting down the laptop. She didn't really feel like working anymore. Putting it down on the coffee table, she curled up along the length of the sofa, pulling down the quilt that was draped over the back. Sleepily, she cuddled one of the sofa cushions against her head and watched him as he stared up at the ceiling. In her peripheral vision, she could make out the blurry shape of the silver charm bracelet he had given her. Smiling faintly, she moved her wrist so the five charms he'd chosen for her jangled. '' I had a nice Christmas, Jack.'' 

He smiled. '' Yeah, me too. I didn't think I would.'' 

'' Charming.'' 

'' No, I mean... I planned to go up to the cabin at Christmas months ago. I thought it was going to be another miserable week in which I drank too much and slept too much. But it hasn't. It's been... nice.'' 

'' I'm glad I got to come. I love your cabin.'' 

'' So do I.'' 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 

Colonel Kiss-Ass (damn, she'd better stop doing that - one day it'll actually leave her mouth) was the first person she saw as she walked out of the elevator. And she was three hours early. Made her wonder if he'd even left at all, though she knew there were some personnel who were unlucky enough to be pulled in for Christmas duty. 

'' Colonel,'' she greeted, nodding at him. 

'' Major. Ah, Major?'' 

She stopped walking and turned smartly. '' Yes, sir?'' 

He paused, seemed at a loss. '' Did you have a nice Christmas, Major?'' 

Was he... was this... huh? Was he _talking_ to her? As in _conversation_? '' Yes, sir. You?'' 

'' Ah, in a sense, Major, in a sense.'' 

She wondered if he was married, had a family. Somehow, she found that difficult to picture. Nervously, she stood there, wondering if she was supposed to make conversation back or if he had a point to make. 

'' Major... um...'' 

Um? Colonel Kiss-Ass was 'um'ing now? What the hell was going on? '' Sir, are you all right?'' 

He winced. '' Yes, Major. Never mind. Carry on.'' 

'' Okay, sir.'' Giving him a very odd look, Sam turned around walked off a little quicker than she usually would have done. 

When Jack dropped by shortly before her lunch break, like he always did, she regaled her brief but memorable conversation with the bizarre colonel to him to see what he thought. Jack's fingers were carefully kneading a ball of blue tack by the end. He was frowning. '' Sounded suspiciously like... nah.'' 

'' What? What?'' 

'' I'm sure it's not that. Probably....'' 

'' Jack!'' 

'' Are you getting any... vibes from him, Major?'' 

'' Vibes? What kind of vibes?'' What was he talking about? Why were all men completely incapable of holding a sensible conversation today? Graham Simmons had spilt coffee down his front when she'd greeted him that morning and had stammered through their brief communication until she'd had enough and talked to Siler instead. He at least could talk with some seriousness. And before that there had been the nonsense with Colonel Ki... Forsythe. 

Jack seemed to be having an internal conversation, staring at her with amused dark eyes and kneading that damn ball of blue tack. '' No, I didn't think so.'' 

'' Didn't think about what? Jack!'' 

'' Lunch?'' 

This was beyond frustrating. She wrenched the blue tack from his fingers and shook a finger at him. '' I'm not kidding, _Colonel_. What are you thinking?'' 

He grinned. '' I'm thinking he has a crush on you.'' 

'' A crush.....'' There weren't words to describe how she felt at that simple statement. Colonel Forsythe's face, tensed and controlled, flashed before hers, followed swiftly by Colonel O'Neill's, also tensed and controlled. '' Gah!'' she managed in the end. 

He laughed. He actually _laughed. _And she had no misconceptions about this - he was laughing at her and not with her. '' Man, that was great. Where's a camera when you need one?'' He bent over at the waist, laughing hard. '' You and Sam... you never notice. Seriously, Feretti's besotted with you. Even told me he was, though it was obvious to everyone...'' 

'' He's married!'' 

'' Yes, and I'm sure he'll grow out of this besotted phase and everything, but it's just so damn funny.'' 

'' It's not... you bastard. How am I going to look him in the eye, now?'' 

'' Sam, come on, Colonel Kiss-Ass has his eye on the sort-of-wife of his rival? It's just classic. Really, really.... perfect.'' 

Sam gritted her teeth and seriously considered kicking him in the shin. Hard. '' Jack, if you don't stop laughing, I'm gonna hide your Playstation.'' 

Abruptly, the laughing stopped. He cleared his throat. '' So... lunch?'' 

'' Good idea.'' 

In a gentlemanly fashion, he let her go first, sweeping an arm ahead of him. But she knew the truth. As she walked in front of him, he was grinning his ass off behind her. She was damn well gonna hide his Playstation anyway, she decided vengefully. 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 

Though Sam may not have entirely believed that the Colonel had a 'crush' on her - men like that simply didn't have 'crushes' - Jack really took it to heart. His feelings towards Forsythe took a swing towards the positive. He greeted him ebulliently in the corridors, grinned at him from a distance, occasionally waved, and generally acted as if he knew something Forsythe didn't. 

It was incredibly embarrassing. 

It took Sam about a week to work out why she was so pissed off with him. It was the fact that he took this as a laughing matter. He didn't see Forsythe as any kind of a threat. 

Which she knew was true. Not only because, though she did find Forsythe attractive, she had no interest in dating anyone at home, let alone in another reality, but because Jack had no reason to be threatened by anyone interested in her. She wasn't his wife. He wasn't her husband. 

Still, it would have been nice if Jack didn't think it was the biggest joke on and off planet. 

And if he hadn't told Daniel and Boyd. 

'' Seriously?'' Daniel looked across the commissary at Forsythe, eating by himself. Daniel grinned, looking from Sam to Jack. '' I mean, seriously?'' 

'' Doesn't seem like the type,'' Boyd said, not entirely sure what to make of it all. 

Sam, who was vacillating between blushing with anger and embarrassment, finally snapped. Picking up her tray, she scowled at the rest of SG-1 and walked away. Towards Forsythe. It was a cheap move, one she wasn't especially proud of even as she came to stand over his table. 

He looked up, his eyes leaving the open report on the table. '' Major.'' 

'' Can I sit with you?'' 

Forsythe's eyes moved from her face to the gobsmacked members of SG-1. '' Are you sure about that?'' 

'' If you were sitting with them, you'd understand.'' No longer waiting for an invitation, she put her tray down and sat. She smiled at him genially and decided she _would_ like him. After all, he could well be innocent of all the things Colonel O'Neill was applying to him. '' So, how are you enjoying life at the SGC.... sorry, SGF?'' 

Suspiciously, he watched her eat, looking like he expected her to poison his drink or something. Sam couldn't help but notice how the green of his uniform perfectly complimented the green of his eyes. '' It's interesting work. But you're new to the SGF too, aren't you, Major? Surely I can ask the same of you?'' 

She shrugged. '' It's pretty similar to home. I've never really asked a proper newcomer, but what was your reaction when they told you about what work you'd be doing here?'' 

He smiled very, very slightly. Still mistrustful. '' I thought they were pulling my leg.'' 

Sam grinned. '' Really? Did you tell them that?'' 

'' Politely.'' 

This time she giggled. '' How did you find your first trip through the 'gate?'' 

'' I'd been warned not to eat before hand so I didn't embarrass myself on the other side, but it was still... cold as hell. Still is. I'm told you get used to it.'' 

'' I wouldn't say you ever got used to it. More... you expect it. There are bad trips, of course, when you all come out thinking 'where's the nearest bathroom?' but they're infrequent.'' 

'' I'll look forward to that then.'' And, in the way of all men who want to know if they're being toyed with, he changed the conversation to what he wanted, '' Major, what are you doing here?'' 

She knew it was coming, knew his natural curiosity would refuse to let him relax until he knew her motives. '' SG-1 were, collectively, pissing me off. So I left. And since I knew sitting with you would piss them off...'' she trailed off deliberately, judging his expression. She decided he wasn't angry, but he wasn't exactly thrilled either. 

'' So you're using me.'' 

'' Not maliciously. I do genuinely want to know you better. You're commanding my old team. Even if they were my team for about six uneventful missions.'' 

'' They're a good team.'' 

'' Yeah, they are. How's Hennersey doing?'' 

'' You noticed she's awful quiet?'' 

Sam nodded, pleased that he'd picked up on it. 

'' I think her real personality's creeping out. The other day I caught her swearing blue murder at some monkey that had stolen her boot. She clammed up real quick when she saw me and 'yes sir'd and 'no sir'd me to death, but I saw the real her for a moment.'' 

'' She's just waiting to see what kind of a person you are, that's all.'' 

He shrugged. '' I figured. She's a good soldier. Conscientious. I like her. I like them all.'' 

'' You sound surprised.'' 

'' I wasn't sure about the set-up of these teams. The SGF was initially a scientists wonderland, so I suppose that's why most of the teams have a non-military man or woman on them but it still... fazed me in the beginning.'' 

Sam nodded understandingly, remembering Colonel O'Neill's scientist rant from early on in her career at the SGC. '' You'll get used to it.'' 

'' I already am.'' He smiled at her, this time it was more genuine than the ones before. '' On our last mission, I found myself actually listening to what Hadley was saying and it was making _sense_. It was horrible.'' He mocked shuddered. 

She giggled again, surprised at how amusing he could be. Usually the only person who could make her laugh that quickly was Colonel O'Neill or Jack. '' What about Thake? His sense of un-humour getting to you?'' 

'' You mean the way he complains about everything?'' 

'' Yup.'' 

'' I'm kinda wishing he'd go back to the way he was in the beginning, when he'd just scowl extra hard at something rather than say how much he hated it. Is there anything he likes?'' 

'' Warm, dry planets with nearly naked natives, I'm told.'' 

The corners of his eyes crinkled. '' Don't we all?'' 

'' Seriously, Thake only gets grumpy when he's off-world for extended periods of time and mostly when he is it only reflects what everyone else is thinking.'' 

'' I'd noticed.'' He laughed briefly. '' I'm not kidding when I say this, Major, I thought it was going to be a hard slog with them all but... they've grown on me. I saw how cliquey the SGF from the beginning and I thought it was just because you'd all worked with each other for so long but the way the teams are laid out seems to work really well.'' 

He was a nice man, Sam thought suddenly, somewhat shocked. He really was a nice man. Damn, but she felt guilty about calling him Colonel Kiss-Ass in her head all this time. She opened her mouth and then quickly shut it when she realised she'd been about to _tell_ him what a nice man she thought he was. Doh! 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ 

'' How can you like him?'' 

'' I just do, okay?'' 

'' Shush!'' 

'' Sorry, Daniel,'' they muttered, glancing at the TV again. 

Jack shifted beside her, obviously desperate to have a conversation with her. He leaned a little closer to her. '' He said nothing about me?'' he whispered. 

'' Nothing.'' 

'' So he wasn't pumping you for information?'' 

'' Not as far as I could see. When he wants to do that he requests meetings, remember? Like a professional. And I'm not sure he did that because General Thomas wanted him to, just because he was trying to adjust. I mean, usually SG leaders aren't pulled in from the outside, they're promoted from the inside. He was only trying...'' 

'' Guys!'' 

'' Sorry, Daniel.'' 

Across the room, Boyd who was slumped in the single seat sofa, snorted behind his Gameboy. '' Danny, why don't you just give up and tape the documentary. S and J obviously aren't in the mood to be considerate.'' 

Daniel sighed and slid a tape into the VCR, bending over and peering at the screen. '' It's just such a good documentary, and so pertinent to our next mission. I thought it would be simpler this way than writing a pre-mission report than none of you are going to read.'' 

'' Hey! I read your reports,'' Sam complained automatically. 

'' Sorry, Sam, of course you do.'' He scowled at the other two members of SG-1 who were remaining quiet. 

'' Sometimes I read the summaries,'' Boyd said, smirking as his thumbs worked their magic on the computer game. '' But only sometimes, mind.'' 

Jack chuckled. '' Green read your reports, Danny. Then he'd give me the general gist.'' 

'' I hate you guys. Except you, Sam. You're exempt.'' Muttering mutinously, he turned off the TV and went to sulk on the sofa, picking up some old and falling-apart book and starting to read. 

'' I guess this our cue to continue our 'discussion','' Jack pointed out. '' Did he hit on you?'' 

She nearly threw up her hands. '' No. I don't think you're right about that anyway.'' 

'' I'm right. I know when men want you. Experience.'' 

She opened her mouth to say that she knew when men liked her too, but then she realised she didn't. '' I can't imagine it comes up that often.'' 

'' All. The. Time.'' 

Sam brightened. '' Really?'' 

Jack rolled his eyes. '' Oh for crying out..'' 

'' I'm not kidding. Really? I never know.'' 

'' That is painfully obvious. Simmons, Feretti, Forsythe... you could start your own fan club.'' 

'' I'll make the newsletter!'' Boyd exclaimed. 

Even Daniel smirked. '' Good one,'' he murmured. 

'' This is so weird. And you can always tell?'' 

'' Yes.'' 

'' Do you think.. my Jack can tell?'' 

'' Yes.'' 

Oh. Well that was something to think about. For one thing, it might explain his bizarre dislike for Nareem and maybe even Martouf, though it wasn't like they were an issue anymore. 

'' Hey, Sam, did you know me in the other reality?'' 

Sam reached for her beer bottle to busy herself. '' Ah, not really. You were in the SGC, though.'' _Please drop it, Captain. Please drop the conversation. _

'' Not in SG-1?'' 

'' No, neither was Green because Teal'c and I were.'' Damn, but she missed Teal'c. 

'' Where was I then?'' 

'' You were the leader of SG-10.'' 

'' Hey! The leader of...... SG-10?'' He paused the Gameboy and frowned as he thought. '' Weren't one of the SG-10s sucked in a black hole a couple of years ago? No, shortly after I arrived. Three years ago.'' 

Sam winced and suddenly everyone in the room was looking at her. 

'' Sam?'' Boyd rested the Gameboy on his lap as the truth dawned. '' Was I... on SG-10 then?'' 

'' Yeah.'' 

'' Oh my God. I remember seeing the MALP screen. The last image they had of them. Jeez.'' Boyd seemed struck into silence. 

Jack cleared his throat. '' It's not you, Boyd.'' 

'' Yeah, I know that, but still.... That's why you couldn't look me in the eye.'' He smiled slightly at her. '' I wondered. You had this awful look on your face once or twice when we first met. You saw me die.'' 

Sam looked down firmly at the beer bottle, finding her eyes were filling with tears. Now that she knew him, she was feeling more grief for the loss of him in the other reality than she had done at the time. Sure, she'd felt horrible for the whole of SG-10, perhaps Boyd a little more because he was the leader and because of Colonel O'Neill's reaction but she hadn't known him, not like she did now. Now... now she felt like her friend had died three years ago. 

'' Sam?'' Jack touched her thigh lightly, his wedding band glinting against his tanned skin. 

'' Hey, it's all right, Sam. I'm here. I'm okay.'' 

She sniffed, continued to stare down at the bottle. '' Yeah, that's why I couldn't look at you properly. It was hard. I'd stared at your face on that screen while we trying to figure some way to shut down the Stargate. It was your first mission. You didn't deserve to die like that.'' 

'' Man, this is weird.'' 

Quickly, she used her sleeve to wipe at an escaping tear that ran down her cheek. Thankfully, Jack got the one that ran out of the other eye, and then she gave in and pressed her face against his shoulder until she was sure she wouldn't leak all over the place. When she was sure, she put the bottle down and clambered over Jack to envelop Boyd in an awkward but friendly hug. 

He laughed against her. '' You're taking this worse than I am.'' 

She kissed him hard on the cheek, then climbed off him and went back to her warm spot by Jack. He put his arm about her shoulders and gave her a comforting squeeze that she leaned in to. It was nice to be held by him rather than simply longing to be held by him. There had been times in her past when there was nothing more she wanted than to be held by him. After Martouf, after the entity, after Nareem. God, even after the damn zay'tarc fiasco when she'd suggested they 'leave it in the room' - a phrase that haunted her night and day - she'd wished she could turn around and be held. 

Daniel was watching the three of them, smiling and shaking his head. '' You've come across other realities, right?'' he asked. 

'' Two,'' she responded shortly. 

'' What other differences were there?'' 

'' In the first one, the one you visited by accident, you weren't in the SGC. You'd died in Egypt, I think, when the Goa'uld, Apophis to be precise, attacked Earth. Catherine was working at the SGC in your place. The whole planet was wiped out in the end, though it saved us, I suppose because you came back with the co-ordinates for the ship that was being sent to attack our own Earth.'' 

'' What about me and you? Were we around?'' 

Sam grinned. '' Yeah. I was Dr Carter, so I wasn't in the military. You were General O'Neill and Hammond was a Major!'' 

'' No kidding! Of course, I died and everything, but, man, a General. And Hammond a subordinate. Next time I see him, I'm gonna tell him that.'' Jack brought his beer to his mouth and drank, eyes glinting with laughter. 

'' We were engaged. It seems to be a running theme. In the next reality, we were married, though you were... dead. Dr Carter and Major Kowalski came through the mirror because their SGC was under attack and there didn't seem to be a way to save Earth. In the end, Colonel O'Neill and Daniel went back through so Dr Carter could contact the Asgard and get them to help out.'' And she kept seeing Colonel O'Neill kissing Dr Carter goodbye, and got that stabbed-in-the-gut feeling that hit her every time she thought about it. 

'' We've only had the one incident, two including you,'' Daniel said. 

'' Dad told me.'' 

Daniel grinned, glasses reflecting the lamp light eerily. '' That makes four out of five realities, Sam. Methinks you're fighting a losing battle.'' 

'' Tell me about it,'' she said, deciding, on this occasion, to see the humour in the situation. Since she currently had Jack's warm arm about her, his ring on her finger, she supposed things could have been worse. They could have been better too (Jack could be her Jack), but she'd take what she could get for the time being. 

Daniel's mantelpiece clock chimed the hour and all four of them stared at it. 

'' We oughta get on home,'' Jack announced, not sounding too pleased about the idea. 

Boyd heaved himself up, yawning and stretching. '' Can I....?'' He gestured to the Gameboy. 

'' Sure.'' 

'' Daniel, that's yours?'' Sam asked, surprised that Daniel would own something so... modern. 

'' Yeah, but he only has Tetris.'' 

'' Hey, some of us have lives.....!'' 

'' Sure, and you got that high score in your spare time. Daniel, I know you spend Friday nights playing this thing.'' 

'' And what day do you call this!'' 

Sam and Jack hurriedly went to get their coats. 

'' You need to get a girlfriend, Jackson.'' 

'' Actually, I have a date with Melissa Spanin lined up for next Friday.'' 

'' You dog...'' 


	10. Chapter Ten

AN: Whoppee. Season Six is coming to Sky One on 25/09. Can't wait. Oh, and in relation to this new chapter, um... well, not a lot to say really. Thanks for the reviews. I haven't done any chapters seen from the other side of the mirror (ie, the people back in the SGC) because that wasn't how I wrote the story. You get a lot of information about the other reality in Chapter 11 and the Epilogue, though, if that makes anyone feel better. 

**Chapter Ten** (Ascension) 

2002. Sam stared at the calendar on her desk and circled the date. 3nd January, 2002. She was still recovering from her New Year's hangover - SG-1, SG-2, Feretti's team, Janet, some of her nurses and a number of technicians had mistakenly got together in O'Malleys to celebrate the incoming year. Sam didn't think she'd drunk so many spirits in her life and was glad that they didn't have a mission scheduled for another couple of days, but part of her wished she could be doing something active to get her mind off the fact that she'd been in this reality for three months. 

Three. Whole. Months. 

With a sixth sense that was part training, part instinct, Sam knew someone had walked into her office. She turned her head to the right and smiled wanly at Colonel Forsythe. '' If you're coming to apologise again....'' 

If anything, his expression became even more contrite. In the early morning hours of 1st January 2002, she and Colonel Forsythe had examined their attraction too each other by a shocking amount of kissing. In front of _everyone_. Jack still wasn't speaking to her, which was probably part of the reason why she was feeling so low, but he wasn't to know that only yesterday she and Alex (that was his first name) had sat down and discussed how much of a bad idea it would be if anything like that happened again. He admitted he found her attractive, she reciprocated. He pointed out she was sorta-married, she pointed out that she sorta-liked the Colonel O'Neill back at home. He told her he was recently divorced and his ex-wife was remarkably similar in appearance to her, she said somehow, someday, she was going to go home and it would only be cruel to start anything. 

And then there was the matter that, when that countdown had started, Sam had been painfully aware that the person she wanted to be locking mouths with was unavailable to her. 

Sam's New Year's resolution? Never celebrate New Year with co-workers again. She was still getting amused smirks in the corridors. 

'' No,'' he said, bringing her to the present again, '' but I'm still sorry. I was wondering if you'd like to get some lunch. Not just with me.'' She managed a slightly more genuine smile at his hurried tone. Clearly, she and Forsythe wouldn't be spending any time alone for a while yet. '' The rest of my team is going. We're hungry. And since, well, you know...'' 

He, of course, was also receiving the brunt of Jack's temper. 

'' You don't have to live with him,'' Sam sighed, dropping what she was doing. Which wasn't a lot. '' Yeah, thanks.'' 

SG-2 gave her pitying looks. Hennersey gave Sam her blue jello, which only made Sam groan because it reminded her of the shots they'd downed. She picked at her meal and didn't really serve as an interesting eating companion, but everyone understood. She saw Colonel O'Neill sitting with Daniel and definitely not looking her way and found she was pouting. 

'' That's attractive,'' Thake said, smiling. 

'' Piss off. I saw you and your wife in the corner, as well, you know,'' Sam muttered nastily. 

Thake smiled further. '' She's pregnant, you know.'' 

'' We know! God, we know!'' Hadley complained, clapping his hands over his ears. 

Thake had apparently been boring the lot of them to tears with his wife's pregnancy. He appealed to Sam, his ex-CO. '' Three weeks pregnant,'' he said proudly. '' It's going to be a Fall baby.'' 

Sam couldn't help but feel cheerful for him. '' That's so great, Thake. Congratulations.'' It had obviously improved his mood considerably; she didn't think she'd seen him grin so much _ever_. 

'' You know, I remember when you, she, the other you was pregnant,'' Hennersey said, sticking her little plastic spoon into her jello. '' You had the most bizarre cravings.'' 

'' Like what?'' 

'' Cheese and jelly on toast.'' 

Sam's stomach was revolted. '' Ugh!'' 

'' We went on a lot of joint missions while you, she, dammit, were pregnant. You refused to stay on-world until you started showing. It was kinda cute, the way he'd follow you around protectively. You kept trying to elude him but he'd always find you.'' 

'' Is this your subtle way of saying we should try and make up?'' 

'' Hennersey has subtlety down to an art form,'' Forsythe murmured, shooting his 2IC a piercing look. She blushed slightly but refused to be daunted. 

'' You didn't notice the way she made you eat something on P2C 846 when you thought Hadley had gone missing, though, did you?'' Thake said smugly, glad to be embarrassing two of his team mates. '' Or the way that she...'' 

'' All right, Thake,'' Hennersey said through her teeth. '' Try not to let all my secrets go at once, will you?'' 

Forsythe was looking at her with a new appreciation. '' Guess I underestimated your powers, Captain.'' 

'' Guess you did,'' she said, pursing her lips and investigating the bottom of her jello cup. 

Sam was looking back at Jack's table and saw that Daniel was packing away his things. '' All right. This may be my chance.'' 

'' May the force be with you,'' Hadley commented. 

'' _What?_'' Forsythe demanded, looking down the table. '' Are you that much of a nerd?'' 

'' Hey, I heard you quoting Star Trek the other day. You can talk.'' 

That sure shut him up. 

Sam approached Jack's table with about the same nervousness she usually had when she was about to jump out of a plane. She stuffed her hands in her pockets and stood next to him, shifting from foot to foot, waiting for him to look at her. 

He didn't, just continued to eat calmly. He knew what was doing - the whole of the commissary was watching her make the first move and he was torturously denying her any response. 

Three months ago, Sam and Colonel O'Neill would have never had enough of a personal relationship to ignore each other. Somehow, for some reason, she preferred it this way. 

'' Jack,'' she began in a small voice. 

'' I don't want to hear it.'' 

'' You've got to hear it some time.'' 

'' Not here.'' He got up, glared at her, and walked off. 

Cringing, Sam followed him as the commissary turned their heads as one. 

She followed him all the way into his personal quarters, whereby he slammed the door behind her. He clenched his fists at his sides. '' Okay, talk,'' he demanded. 

'' I'm not sorry for kissing him, Jack.'' 

Jack's teeth clenched. '' That's a novel way to start an apology.'' 

'' I'm not sorry for kissing him, Jack,'' Sam repeated, firmly, undaunted. She wasn't going to be punished for something that, while a mistake on her part, he had no right to punish her for. '' I have no regrets about that. I regret you seeing it, I regret the rest of SG-1 and SG-2 and all those others seeing it. I've had no end of ribbing from Janet, not to mention the looks I'm getting in the corridors.'' Since she didn't think his expression could get any blacker, she hurried to explain herself, '' The state I was in, if I hadn't kissed him, I would have kissed you. And that would make both of us feel worse.'' 

His fists unclenched slowly. '' It still doesn't change the fact that you... you...'' 

He was searching for words but couldn't seem to find them. But Sam knew what he was trying to say. '' I what? Kissed someone you didn't approve of? Kissed someone who wasn't you? No matter how awkward the situation we've been put in, I'm not your wife. I know I look like her, act like her..'' 

'' Talk like her, smell like her, walk like her,'' he put in, laughing bitterly. '' Sam, I know I'm being unreasonable. I know that you were drunk. I know I'm not your husband, I know you are not with anyone back in your reality. I _know_ all that. I just... I saw my wife kissing someone else. That's... all, really. And I thought... what if she was kissing someone else in your reality? The other me.'' 

Sam flinched at the jealousy that seeped into her blood. Was that ridiculous? Being jealous of herself? '' No. I'm sure she was at home, with Matthew.'' 

'' Whose home? Yours?'' His expression darkened. '' Or his?'' 

Since Sam's thoughts had been secretly running along the same lines, she found her voice softening. '' Do you really think they would do that to us?'' 

'' Sam, you have nothing concrete with him. For all I know, she hasn't told anyone she was married to me. He might think she wasn't with anyone.'' 

'' One look at Matthew and he'll know otherwise, Jack.'' 

Finally, his hands relaxed. '' You're right. There's no way he could be anyone else's son.'' 

'' And she'll have come clean with them all, of course. Colonel O'Neill and Hammond will have heard how I disappeared from the planet she sent me too. She'll have to have explained what happened,'' Sam continued, gradually watching as the tension and anger left his body. She was starting to feel relieved, probably because not only was she appeasing him but the things she was telling him were making sense to her as well. 

'' Do you think they know the whole story?'' 

'' What do you mean?'' 

'' About why she left... me.'' 

'' Yes. Colonel O'Neill would want to know what could possibly make her take your son away from you.'' 

Very slowly, Jack sat down on the edge of his desk. His eyes were searching her face now. '' Sam, what do you think happened?'' 

This was the first time they had ever broached this topic. The first time he had initiated anything like it. She thought her words over carefully. '' I think someone on Earth was threatening Matthew.'' 

His eyes held hers for a moment. '' His life?'' 

'' Yes.'' 

'' Why would anyone do that?'' 

She shrugged. '' That's what I've been trying to find out. Dad agrees with me. I know that's not saying much, both of us are biased, but... I know what family means to you. Even before I came here and got to know you better. And I know myself. The only reason I would do something like that to you was if it was unavoidable.'' She stopped and bit her lip, waiting to see what he would think of that. It had taken her years to read most of Colonel O'Neill's very tight, controlled expressions because with him, mostly what he said had little to do with what was going on inside his head, but this was Jack. Jack, who was talking to Sam, which meant he was trying to be as honest as possible. 

'' Up until you arrived, I would have disagreed with you,'' he began, slowly, thoughtfully. '' But, I don't know, perhaps being around you again has reminded me of all her qualities. Somehow, over the past two years, I'd transformed my wife, a woman I love very much still, into some kind of a pariah. She hated the idea of Matthew going through the Stargate. She was nervous enough about bringing him into the SGC for his check-ups, for crying out loud. If he was on base and there was an emergency, she'd go white as a sheet. The very idea that she would....'' He trailed off, knowing she got the message. 

Hope was lining Sam's soul. She was so thrilled that he was seeing it in the light of someone who'd rethought the possibilities. He was seeing what she had seen from the very beginning. 

Jack rubbed the back of his neck, which he did when he was particularly tense. '' It smacks of a cover-up, frankly. And I've seen a lot of those. Even now I'm worried that I was sent on that covert op as a cover up of a cover up. I mean, they could have chosen someone else to do it. Feretti, Bates, Macey all have the experience and Hammond knew they were loyal.'' 

Sam's ears pricked. '' Hammond? You think Hammond knew something?'' 

'' He never gave an opinion one way or another about Sam's disappearance. But he went above and beyond the call of duty to let me continue searching for her the length of time I did. Any other CO would have given me a couple of months then pointed out that she could be anywhere.'' 

'' Maybe we should talk to him.'' 

'' Maybe we should.'' 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 

Hammond wasn't surprised to see them, was the first thought Sam had when the General opened the door. 

'' General,'' Jack said, pulling his sunglasses off respectfully. 

'' Please, Jack, Sam, it's George now.'' He backed up, let them come into his house. He patted Sam on the shoulder as she passed. '' I hope you're acclimatising all right after your unfair removal from your own reality.'' 

Sam, who had been in the General's house before, still looked about with interest. It had a decidedly female touch to it, which she put down to his late wife. He obviously hadn't seen fit to redecorate. '' Um, it's going... all right, sir.'' 

'' Take a seat, I was just doing some accounts.'' He switched off the TV in the lounge and shuffled papers about on the table, gesturing for Sam and Jack to sit on the sofa. '' Would you like something to drink?'' 

'' Er, no, thanks, George,'' Jack murmured. 

Sam nearly winced. It just sounded _wrong_ to her. But then, so had 'Jack'. '' Sir, we really need to talk to you.'' 

General Hammond smiled slightly. '' Down to business already?'' 

'' Yes, sir,'' Jack said, smiling briskly. '' We were wondering if we could ask you a few questions?'' 

'' Fire away.'' 

Jack looked at Sam, giving her the lead. He obviously didn't quite know how to put it either. '' Sir, the other Major Carter's disappearance, and the reasons behind it, are still a mystery at the SGF and, probably naturally, I'm curious about it. From my own personal experience, I would say the situation she put Colonel O'Neill in with regards to their son would be the last thing I would put him through. Unless, Matthew was under some kind of a threat.'' 

'' Do you have any proof of this?'' Hammond demanded, leaning forward. 

'' Nothing but gut instinct, sir, though I have combed through SG-2s last mission reports and searched her office and lab.'' She felt Colonel O'Neill glanced at her at this last comment, but that didn't dissuade her. '' I was wondering if you'd... noticed anything in the days before she disappeared.'' 

'' Major Carter wasn't exactly her usual self during that time, Major. She'd been under some strain in the previous months. I was about to suggest she take an extended downtime to recuperate and spend time with her family.'' He raised his eyebrows at Jack, who winced. '' It was, however, too little, too late.'' 

'' She didn't speak to you? About anything in particular?'' 

'' No more than usual. I did call her in regarding one of her mission reports which had been unusually substandard. That was about four days before she left.'' He smiled. '' It wasn't really a dressing down, though. More of an attempt to get through to her. I believe she'd just thrown you out, Jack.'' 

'' Look, George...'' 

'' Jack, wait.'' Sam held up a hand midway through what she expected was an explanation of his marital difficulties. '' Substandard?'' She was never 'substandard'. It just wasn't in her. If anything, the more stressed she got, the tighter her reports became. 

'' Yes. She'd hand-written a report for me. The content was fine...'' 

'' I don't hand write reports. Does she?'' Sam shot at Jack. 

'' Never. You know how you are. That laptop of yours might as well be attached to you by umbilical cord. General, this report, what exactly was wrong with it?'' 

'' It was covered in inkblots. Like someone had shook a fountain pen over it. Is that significant?'' 

'' I need to see it.'' 

'' Sam?'' 

Sam shook her head at him, her eyes telling him 'later'. '' I suppose all of the reports are with General Thomas.'' 

'' One of the triplicate. You should have a copy yourself. Major Carter, Sam, is there something I've missed?'' 

Sam licked her lips, looked at them both. '' When I was in the academy, there was a particular method in which my friends and I would arrange to meet, er, against academy regulations. We'd check the notice board for any long messages and would dot over letters, forming a place and time. It wasn't very original.'' 

'' Shit,'' Jack commented, hands going to his face and rubbing. '' We've done that. In briefings.'' 

'' That's nice to know, Colonel. I suggest you get to the SGF, Major Carter. I'd like to know your findings.'' 

'' We'll keep you up to date, General. Come on,'' Jack ordered sharply, standing up and heading for the door. 

'' Thank you, General,'' Sam said, smiling at him as she stood and started walking, backwards, towards the door. '' We really miss you.'' 

He nodded. '' As I miss the SGF. You'd better catch up, or he'll leave without you.'' 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 

Jack drove at breakneck speed to the SGF, barely breaking at the check-in. He swore the whole way down in the elevator and beat her to her office, and her filing system. She slapped his hands away, told him to sit down in her chair and calm down before he burst a blood vessel. 

'' Why didn't I think of that? Why?'' he was whispering. 

Eyes flowing over the folders, she flicked through the last reports she'd filed with General Hammond, the fear that someone had got here before her highly prevalent in her mind. With relief, she pulled out the report and slapped it down on the desk. They leaned over it, shoulders pressed tightly together, eyes running over the scrawled lines, picking out the letters than had huge, blue ink blobs dropped over them. 

C. O. L. O. N. E. L. F. S. I. M. M. O. N. S. 

'' Simmons? Who's Simmons?'' Jack demanded, almost glaring at her. '' Sam?'' 

'' Oh shit, I should have known.'' It was almost funny. 

But really, really not. 

At all. 


	11. Chapter Eleven

AN. Nearly finished guys. Just have to format the Epilogue after this, double and triple check for spellings and grammar, though I'm positive I've missed some. Sigh.****

****

**Chapter Eleven** (Desperate Measures) 

'' He's an asshole. A Pentagon asshole. He has connections with NID. He doesn't like the way Hammond runs things, says the SGC is a security risk just waiting to happen. The first time I met him was shortly after... um, well, I kinda brought an alien back with me.'' 

'' Orlin,'' Jack put in impatiently. 

'' Yeah. Orlin. Simmons bugged my house, had people watching me. Then, January last year, he practically accused me of being some kind of alien harbouring traitor when SG-1 had been made to believe we had a fifth man in the team. God, then when I was kidnapped a few months ago,'' she rubbed her hands over her face, '' so that some damn millionaire, um, Adrian Conrad, could cut me open and see if he could be saved by my protein marker or whatever, Simmons was definitely somehow involved in that.'' 

'' You were kidnapped?'' Daniel exclaimed. 

'' So this Simmons guy is nasty. What would he have on Sam then? What interest would he have in her?'' 

'' The only thing I can think of has to do with Jolinar. Perhaps Adrian Conrad wanted to cut her open.'' 

'' Matthew, Sam, why would he want Matthew?'' 

'' He has naquadah in his blood, from the symbiotes you both had. Maybe...'' 

'' Too many damn maybes,'' Jack muttered disgustedly, getting up and pacing the small amount of space in Daniel's living room area. 

'' I'm sorry, Jack, but that's all I can manage at the moment!'' Sam said sharply. 

'' Simmons,'' Daniel murmured, sitting back in the sofa, '' Simmons. Why do I recognise that name?'' 

'' There's a Lieutenant Simmons on base,'' Jack snapped. '' Daniel, now's not the time to play name games. So we have a lead. A clue.'' He pointed at the report on the coffee table. '' My wife was being threatened. She left Earth because she was afraid of something. Something this man knows.'' 

'' We could go see him,'' Daniel suggested. 

'' Oh yeah, and let him know we know something's up. If he had the power to do to Sam what he did in her reality, then he could do that here. I'm not putting another Samantha Carter in danger.'' 

'' I can look after myself.'' 

'' Says the woman who got kidnapped to play guinea pig.'' 

Sam told herself firmly that he was overemotional and it wouldn't help her case if she shouted at him. '' Right, let's think about this. She used the Edora and covert operations missions to cover up her reason for leaving so that, to the outside, it would look like she was running away from a bad marriage.'' 

'' Check,'' Daniel said, reaching for his notepad and uncapping a pen. He started scribbling. 

Jack continued to pace. 

'' Right. But what I find difficult to comprehend is how, what with making the particle accelerator, she managed to create a dialling programme sophisticated enough to dial out and then delete itself, and find a window of opportunity in which to do it. If my marriage was supposedly falling apart around me, I was shattered from three months of all-nighters and had a son to look after and maintain a brave face for....'' 

'' Rub it in why don't you _Major_.'' 

'' Sorry, _Colonel_, just putting myself in her place,'' Sam said through her teeth. '' I'm just not sure I could do that by myself. If I didn't have help, then I'd have to have been planning it before Edora. Which means I could have been aware of the threat to myself or Matthew a month or more before Edora. Can either of you think of anything odd that happened? Daniel?'' 

'' I'm sorry, Sam, but I wasn't... exactly... myself then either. It was just after Sha're had died. And I was working on finding Kheb. The Harcesis child,'' he floundered, shaking his head. She noticed for the first time that his hair was sticking up all over the place, like he'd run his fingers through it several times. She imagined they all looked rather worse for wear. '' I couldn't tell you if anything was off with Sam.'' 

Jack knew he was the one everyone was looking to now and he was already shaking his head, his hands nervously fiddling with everyone they came near. He halted by a table lamp and absently played with some no-doubt expensive foreign statue. '' I thought everything was fine. Great, even. I thought we were happy.'' 

'' Simmons. Simmons,'' Daniel was heard to repeat under his breath. '' Oh, this is driving me nuts. It's not our Simmons. I've heard the name before.'' He closed his eyes. Then they sprung open, bright blue. '' Yes. I do remember. Colonel Frank Simmons. But that wasn't who he was then. He was Lieutenant Colonel Frank Simmons. He interviewed Major Kowalski when he had that Goa'uld in his head. Jack, don't you remember?'' 

Sam looked from Daniel to Jack and back again. '' He did?'' 

Jack was looking frustrated. '' I don't remember, guys. My best friend had just been snaked. I wasn't at my best. All I wanted was it out of him. I didn't care what they talked about with it.'' 

Something was niggling in the back of Sam's brain, something someone had said. Since the only conversation she'd had about Kowalski's blending was with Jack herself, that one time two months before, she ran through the conversation in her mind. '' You said... you said Kowalski started shouting things that nearly got you caught for lying in your reports.'' 

'' Yeah. On the ramp. He called out 'Ask your Colonel what the naquadah in his blood means - ask him what Apophis feels like on the inside. Ask his mate about Amounet's death'. Daniel, you remember? It was only me and you in the gate room. God, I remember _that_ real clearly.'' 

'' It was a close one all right...'' 

'' No, no, no, no,'' Sam shaking, shaking her head and standing. '' Daniel, do you know if anyone else was present in the interview with Colonel Simmons?'' 

'' I don't know.'' 

'' Because if he was alone with the Goa'uld, it could have told him that you and she were hosts without anyone knowing.'' 

'' So? That was six years ago. Why would he wait all this time to use that?'' Jack demanded, leaning on the back of the sofa and glaring at her intensely. 

'' Kheb. The Harcesis child,'' Sam said with the utmost confidence, as an idea began to form in her mind. '' A Harcesis child has the inherited memory of its parents. Jack, Matthew was conceived shortly after you were hosts. If Simmons knew that, then found out that if two Goa'uld hosts have a child then...'' 

Daniel's face suddenly changed with horror. '' Christ, Jack, someone like this Simmons person, NID, would think your son could be put to some tactical use, or medical or... or...'' 

'' I get the picture, Daniel.'' His hands went to clutch at his hair. '' Jesus Christ. Ah, Matthew's a real smart kid. I mean, really smart. Started talking early, whole sentences. He understood us, too. He was reading before he was walking. But all the books said children learnt at different stages, some earlier than others, and the Doc was our only medical consult because of Matthew's security level. I just thought... cause Sam's smart, he must have got her brains. What if this Harcesis thing is true? Dammit, why didn't she tell me?'' 

'' Because she left the clue behind. She thought between you, General Hammond, Daniel and the others you'd work it out. Perhaps there were other clues, but Simmons could have been in charge of the search crew that looked through her office and lab and they could have brought them back to him.'' Something occurred to her suddenly. '' I want to see the video tape. The one of her from nearly a year ago. She's got to have tried to tell you something.'' 

'' I've looked at that tape back to front, Sam, I would have seen something.'' 

Sam looked up at him, trying to show him that she understood the guilt he was feeling, that she didn't blame him for missing this. For two years, he'd been blinded by his emotions. Perhaps the other she had thought that the soldier in him would think first before acting, underestimating just how powerful Jack's feelings were when it came to his family. 

'' I'll look anyway. A fresh eye and all that,'' she said quietly. 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 

Perhaps unsurprisingly, that night they didn't get much sleep. They'd left Daniel's at two in the morning and when they'd returned home, the Colonel had gone straight to the drink's cabinet and poured himself a drink that made Sam wince. Then he'd sat down on the sofa, glanced at her as if to say 'you can't stop me', and steadily drunk his way down the bottle. 

Since she didn't want to leave him, she sat down next to him, curled her legs up and watched him in silence. For maybe an hour and a half. Listening to the swallow of the alcohol, the light breaths of air as he breathed in and out, the clink of the glass against his teeth, against the rim of the bottle. Refilled and emptied. Watching his profile, she knew when his eyes grew heavy and she leaned forward, took the glass away from him, using both hands, one to hold the glass, the other to pull his fingers off it one by one. He watched her hands on his with the concentration of a man who simply didn't care what his body was doing anymore. 

She took him upstairs, into his bedroom, and like last time, they shared the bed. Unlike last time, he clutched at her tightly, head buried in her hair and whispered, only moments before he feel asleep, '' I failed them.'' 

'' She should have told you,'' Sam whispered back. She didn't know whether he heard her, or whether he fell asleep before he could hear her fervent statement. All she knew was that just seconds later, the body behind her grew heavier, leaning on her back more, and that she was incredibly tired. 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 

The videotape confirmed something Sam had thought. While Major Carter gave no more clues, Sam saw the moment that she accepted defeat. She paused the tape and nodded at it. '' See there? The way her shoulders slump and her head hit the bar. I know that look. She's just realised her plan didn't work.'' 

'' She allowed herself to get caught,'' Daniel stated as an idea dawned. 

Sam nodded. That had been what she'd been thinking. '' To see if her plan had worked. I imagine she left Matthew with someone she could trust, came up with a foolproof cover story and got in the way of the search team.'' 

Jack, who was leaning against the wall, thumped his head back and stared up at the ceiling. '' The way I reacted to her... That was how she knew it hadn't worked.'' 

'' She should have told you, Jack. She just...'' Sam shut her mouth. 

He pushed off the wall, suddenly twice as large and very, very threatening. '' Say it. Go on, Sam, say how she thought I would be the one person to vindicate her. To find this Colonel Simmons. To slam his head through a wall so that if he ever came near my family again he'd know what he was up against.'' 

'' Jack, it wasn't just you. General Hammond didn't think of telling you about the report until...'' 

'' We asked,'' he interrupted, not willing at all to give up his increasingly huge guilt trip. '' Until another reality Sam came through and slapped it into me that...'' 

'' Shit!'' Sam jerked upright. '' That's it. She found an alternate reality. She sent _me_ here to help _you_. It must have been timed down to the last second. She found an alternate reality where as much as possible was similar,'' suddenly that triumphant smile in the gate room made sense, '' and used me as a tool to find out the truth. Sent me back just in time for _you_ to grab me and take me back, this time knowing that you wouldn't let me go so easily.'' 

'' How would she have known that you'd get trapped here, though?'' 

Sam was at a loss. She found herself smiling - sometimes her imagination got the better of her. '' I don't know. Maybe that last bit's far fetched.'' 

'' Maybe she was relying on you to have an interest in the situation. Maybe she thought that you'd be brought back through to your reality and that she'd have a chance to explain it to you in the safety of Sam's reality,'' Daniel said, looking at Jack. 

'' Yes, that makes sense. Of course, it worked out either way.'' 

Daniel jumped up out of his chair, went to eject the tape. '' We've got to tell someone. Now.'' 

'' Hammond,'' was all Jack said. 

'' Hammond,'' they agreed. 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 

General Hammond listened with increasing fury to the point when Sam thought her usually calm superior was going to break something. His Texan accent became heavier the more furious he became as mainly Daniel gave over the only evidence - the report and the tape - that they had. 

'' - you kept this lie up the whole damn time, Jack?'' 

'' - that sounds like Major Carter all right.'' 

'' - yes, yes. That damned report. When I pulled her in, she didn't sound remotely concerned about it. And she kept staring at me. She knocked a sheet of papers off my desk. Saluted when she came in, when she left. It was, frankly, bizarre. She was making sure I remembered it. Two years too late,'' he sighed, dropping down on a chair in the dining room where he'd brought them all. 

The set-up of this meeting was not lost on Sam. It was arranged remarkably like how it would be during a briefing - he was at the head of the table, with Colonel O'Neill on his left, Sam next to Colonel O'Neill and Daniel opposite. 

'' And after we caught her, eleven months ago, General, she made sure she was always two steps ahead of us, but let us know what those two steps were. She was probably searching for an alternate reality mirror or searching for some safe place where she could talk to one, or all of us. It's possible she stumbled on the alternate reality mirror by accident, or some evidence for it, but used it to her advantage.'' 

'' So, General, any idea how we're going to get this creep hung?'' Jack said in forced jovial tones. 

General Hammond smiled. And it was not a smile Sam would ever like to see aimed at her. '' Yes, actually. I have a very good idea. If you'll excuse me for a moment, I need to make a call.'' 

One call lead to an interview with the President, four First Class flights to Washington within the hour, four hotel rooms booked for the night and a really good reason for three members of SG-1 to be AWOL. 

With somewhat of a surreal feeling, Sam followed General Hammond and Colonel O'Neill - for both of them couldn't be George and Jack in their dress blues - through the White House to the Oval Office, passing through umpteen security checks and security guards. The President greeted both General Hammond and Colonel O'Neill by their given names, shook their hands, greeted Dr Jackson and clasped Sam's hand for a moment longer, apologising for her 'misplacement'. Then they sat and got down to business. 

While the solid evidence was minimal, it was clear the President was willing to believe anything presented to him by Jack and General Hammond. Phone calls were made, orders were issued, Sam and Daniel cast each other impressed looks while Jack and the General just looked justified. 

It was also a surprise to the President that it had been decided Major Carter would be given no opportunity to go home. In fact, his exact words were: '' But I was under the impression that the mirror was irrevocably damaged on the other side, that Major Carter was unable to return home?'' The President's eyes narrowed. '' Which isn't the case. How interesting.'' 

_That_ realisation led to yet another phone call. Summoning General Thomas to the White House ASAP. 

SG-1 looked at their toes with glee. 

Colonel Simmons. NID. General Thomas. No one was fooled into thinking that they weren't all linked in some way. 

'' I'm going to have a chat with Simmons and Thomas. General, perhaps you'd like to join me when they arrive?'' 

'' It would be my pleasure, Mr President.'' 

'' As for the rest of you,'' the President raised his eyebrows at the three of them, '' I suggest you have the day off. We should have results for you by this evening.'' 

'' Yes, sir. Thank you, sir,'' Sam managed, genuinely prepared to do anything he wanted. Kiss his feet. Sharpen all his pencils. Dammit, she'd fetch him coffee for the rest of his life at this point. 

They left the White House, silently happy. Words couldn't describe quite how happy Sam was, so she didn't speak. 

They eventually sat down in a cafe, drank stupidly expensive coffee around a ludicrously small plastic table, with Sam and Jack looking outrageously out of place in their dress blues and Daniel slowly but surely crumpling his suit into its usual disarray. 

'' I can't believe what just happened,'' Daniel managed halfway though this cup of coffee. He reached up and pulled his tie down further until the knot refused to budge anymore. 

'' Ditto,'' Sam said. She reached across the table and touched Jack's wrist. '' Did you want to watch them interview Simmons and Thomas?'' 

Jack shook his head. '' Hammond's there. I'd only say something inappropriate.'' He turned his hand over, and clasped Sam's hand in his. '' Thank you.'' 

She squeezed. '' I'm sure Simmons got his crew in the SGF somehow. Hid things that would have helped.'' 

'' And I'm sure I was too blinded to see. I hope she'll forgive me, if we ever see her again.'' 

Daniel clinked his cup down, learning forward conspiratorially. '' Jack, we'll have free range to search for the mirror now, surely?'' 

'' And how many realities are there, Daniel?'' 

'' Must you be such a pessimist, Jack?'' he countered. 

'' Both of you, shush. Let's just enjoy this moment for what it is. A triumph. Her name is cleared. She didn't betray you. If anything, she was the one betrayed. And we're clearing out Colonel Simmons and General Thomas in one fell swoop.'' Sam looked down at their clasped hands, the words Jack had said casting a shadow over her happiness, but she refused to look at the reality for the moment. '' Maybe he'll reinstate the General.'' 

'' God, that would be nice.'' 

'' And get rid of Forsythe.'' 

'' Jack!'' 

'' Kidding. I was kidding.'' 

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 

Sam couldn't believe it. She was standing in front of her way home. 

'' The President thought we'd maybe like to have it sent over,'' Hammond murmured, standing in the background, away from Sam and Jack who were staring fixedly at the slab of mirror. The one that they'd been assured was going off to Area 51 to be destroyed. 

Sam felt something wet trail down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly. '' It looks different from the other one.'' 

'' It's a different design, that's all,'' Daniel said. '' The cave where we found it had the mirror broken off the wall. It transports you to the other cave where the mirror is embedded in the wall. It's so dark down there that you wouldn't be able to tell what's stone and what's the mirror. If it's not switched on, it doesn't even look like a mirror.'' 

Sam wiped at her other eye. '' How do you turn it on?'' she asked shakily. 

Jack reached forward, ran his finger over what looked like a rock outcrop on the right hand side. The mirror sprung to life, an alternate reality image appearing on the other side. '' Do you know if the scientists in Area 51 were fiddling with it?'' 

'' I'm afraid I don't, Colonel.'' 

'' Then this might not be your reality,'' Jack whispered, looking at Sam. 

'' We'll have to keep going through and finding out,'' she said in a determined voice. 

Jack took her hand and squeezed. '' General? Permission for SG-1...'' 

'' Granted, Colonel. SG-2 will be accompanying you on each trip through until you find Major Carter's reality. The President has given the command that the SGF will be given an unlimited time scale to return Major Carter home, and get our own Major Carter and Matthew O'Neill back. You have a goal, Colonel.'' 

Jack smiled slightly. '' All right, people. Let's go kit up.'' 

SG-2 were ready and waiting when SG-1 returned. Forsythe nodded respectfully towards Colonel O'Neill, smiled at Major Carter and awaited orders. 

'' We don't know what we'll find through there,'' Jack said, surveying the two teams who were gathered in the room the mirror had been transported to. Ironically, it was the same room it had been placed in in the first place. '' Goa'uld holiday planet or deserted site. The cave on the other side is dark, with only one route up to the surface, at least in the reality we're looking for. Major Carter and myself will be going through first, since we have the most experience of the planet we're looking for. Wait two minutes, then follow in pairs in two minute intervals.'' 

'' Yes, sir.'' 

'' If everything goes to plan on the other side, we'll meet on the surface.'' Jack looked to Sam who'd listened to every word he said intently. '' Let's go, campers,'' he murmured, still looking at her. 

With a lump in her throat, nerves up to her eyebrows, Sam touched the mirror. She tried to analyse the feeling as best she could, but all she really felt was a tingle that ran from her head to her toes and when she opened her eyes she was in pitch darkness. She had enough sense to step away from the mirror so that Jack, who she could see on the other side, could come through. 

He shook his head to get rid of the sensation. '' Wow. Weird, huh?'' 

She smiled faintly, weapon raised at the entrance she could see dimly. She flicked her flashlight on and aimed. '' That way.'' 

Jack was already sweeping his flashlight around the cave. '' Looks the same, at least.'' 

'' I suppose the ones that aren't my reality may have different rock formations, so that'll be the first easy give-a-way.'' 

Jack went first, his light leading the way as they began the steep climb upwards. They didn't talk - Sam, for one, was too nervous to, while Jack was either the same or was too busy concentrating on making sure the planet was safe to bring two teams on. He didn't like going into situations blind, and without the UAV and the MALP that was what they were forced to do. 

Something crunched under Sam's foot and she winced, thinking along the lines of rock pieces, snail shells or larger, more revolting insects. She briefly flicked her flashlight down but instead of the options she'd immediately thought of, light was reflected back at her. With awful realisation, Sam's breath caught in her throat. It took her two tries to get her voice to work. '' Jack... Jack,'' she whispered creakily. 

'' What is it?'' He swung around, nearly blinding her with the light. 

She forced a hand up to cover her eyes. '' Look,'' she whispered, showing him the shards of glass. '' When... when you grabbed me. I dropped my flashlight.'' 

His own flashlight was already searching the ground, up and down the area of steps. Almost poetically, both of their flashlights landed on the discarded body of Sam's original light source at the same time. 

She heard him swallow. '' Could there be a reality out there where exactly the same thing happened but with tiny differences?'' 

'' It's possible but...'' 

'' The chance that we'd open up on it straight away is more unlikely.'' 

'' Yeah. Maybe the scientists hadn't changed the reality.'' 

'' Maybe. It would be nice if we got a break, wouldn't it?'' 

'' It would be nice.'' 

Behind them, Sam and Jack could hear the next two working their way up. So they continued on. 

Heart thumping because she was trying her hardest to crush her hope in case it was false, she followed Jack up and up, feeling sicker and sicker as the walls grew brighter and the distance lighter. They emerged and with a sucked in breath Sam took in a view that was identical to the one she had seen what seemed like yesterday. In the distance, she could even see the Stargate. 

They waited until the rest of the teams caught up, Jack smiling proudly as every single pair pointed out the flashlight. 

'' We'd better get a move on, hadn't we? The next place we've got to visit is an ally home world, since the codes will have been changed,'' Forsythe pointed out as he stuck his flashlight in a vest pocket. 

'' Good point,'' Jack said, nodding. '' Any particular planet of preference?'' 

'' The Alpha site,'' Sam said with certainty. '' I'm sure we'll shock the hell out of whoever's monitoring it at the moment, but they'll have a code to get us, sorry, me home.'' 

They hurried to the DHD, with Jack and Forsythe still vigilantly searching their surroundings, looking for any possible threats. Sam dialled the co-ordinates of the Alpha site and watched, her heart leaping in her chest, as the Stargate activated. 

'' Move out,'' Jack said, giving Sam a little push up to the platform. 

One by one, they dropped through to the other side, shocking the hell out of SG-11 who were innocently playing cards at a table they'd dragged out of one of the temporary buildings. 

Jack raised his eyebrows at them. '' Doing your duty excellently, I see.'' 

Major Ford leapt up, stammering, '' Colonel! Sir! We didn't know you were coming!'' 

'' No. That's obvious. Give us your GDO.'' 

'' Sir, yes, sir.'' He was handing it over obediently, before he thought to ask. '' Um, where's yours, sir?'' 

Jack chucked the GDO over to Sam, who nodded at Daniel to dial Earth. '' Oh, we're not from your reality, Ford. When was the last time you went home?'' 

'' We've been here for just over three months, sir. Extended mission. We're with a team of scientists.'' 

Jack looked at the four members of SG-11 pointedly. '' And where are those scientists?'' 

Ford smirked. '' Still in bed, sir. It is only half past seven, Earth time.'' 

'' Oh.'' 

'' Wrong reality, sir?'' 

'' Ask me later.'' 

'' Jack,'' Sam called as she engaged the GDO. 

He came to stand by her. '' This is it, then, Sam.'' 

'' This is it, Jack.'' 

'' Guess we'd better go first. Don't want to scare the natives.'' 

She approached the wormhole with considerable apprehension. Stared at the amazing blue ripples, the event horizon. '' Sometimes I forget just how astonishing my life is,'' she whispered. '' But, sometimes, you know, I just wish it was normal.'' 

'' Normal is overrated.'' 

And in a repetition of the first time they'd gone through the Stargate together, Jack shoved Sam through. 

With the Stargate there was no opening or closing of eyes, no allowance for the change in distance. One minute you were looking into blueness, the next the gate room. Staring at the familiar features, Sam walked down the ramp, waiting, waiting for a sign. Any sign. The medics rushed into the gateroom, the klaxons were whirling, red lights were blazing. All the same. 

Jack appeared next to her, reached out to pull her to a halt as the defence team held their fire. 

General Hammond marched into the gate room. '' At ease!'' he ordered. 

Around them, a new call rang out. 

**'' SG-1 to the gate room. SG-1 to the gate room.''**

The lump in her throat reaching mammoth proportions, Sam stared at General Hammond. 

Hammond's eyes widened as, one by one, the members of SG-1 and SG-2 appeared behind her. '' Major Carter,'' he said, though, fixing his eyes on her at last, '' it's good to have you back.'' 

Sam closed her eyes. 

Moments later, she heard running. 

'' Sam! God, Sam, what happened? Where've you been?'' 

She opened her eyes to see Daniel running up the ramp, a broad grin on his face. He enveloped her in a hug.'' Daniel,'' she whispered. _My Daniel_, she thought, hugging him back. 

'' Oh. And me. Hey, this is first time I've ever me another me.'' 

'' Me too.'' 

Sam automatically looked to Jack as the two Daniel's - a combination that could send terror through anyone's heart - struck up a conversation, but Jack's eyes were, of course, elsewhere. So, for the first time, Sam allowed herself to look around the room. She saw her counterpart, eyes wide and rapidly filling with tears. She saw Teal'c, God it was good to see him. And she saw the Colonel. 

The Colonel. 

Sir. 

Who was staring right at her as if his eyes could swallow her whole. 

'' General, I can truthfully say it's very good to be back,'' she replied, still staring at Colonel O'Neill. She wanted to run forward and throw herself at him, Sam found, somewhat surprised at herself. She'd also quite like to kiss him, as well. Kiss him so hard he would see stars. Suddenly, all that mattered was that, and for a moment, Sam's vision wavered in confusion as her heart pulled her one way and her common sense ground her feet to that ramp as if they were cemented there. 

Later, she promised herself. Later. Later she would tell him what she'd only just realised for herself. That she loved him. That she felt like she always had. 

'' Briefing room, people. I think some explaining is in order.'' 

There was nothing more bizarre than sitting opposite yourself, Sam thought ten minutes later, as she took her place beside her own, real Colonel O'Neill, next to Daniel, who was next to Teal'c. Everyone else crowded around in whatever seats were left. 

'' A number of familiar and unfamiliar faces,'' General Hammond said, also looking faintly bemused. 

'' Yeah,'' Colonel O'Neill murmured, leaning forward and raising his eyebrows. '' Boyd?'' 

Boyd grinned from down the end of the table. '' Colonel! Apparently I'm being pulled apart like spaghetti in this reality.'' 

Sam felt the blood leave her face at this crude imagery. God, that sounded suspiciously like something... '' _I_ didn't tell you that, did I?'' 

Boyd, remarkably cheerful about this, simply grinned. '' Yes, you did.'' 

'' No, I didn't. When did I?'' 

She didn't notice Forsythe making an urgent 'no, no' gesture with his head and hand. 

'' New Year's, of course.'' 

A number of people around the table, embarrassingly, snorted or laughed or did a combination of both, and lowered their heads. Sam felt the colour rush back up to her face. '' Jesus. Sorry, Boyd.'' 

General Hammond cleared his throat. '' Well, anyway, let's begin the briefing. We've heard this Major Carter's side,'' he gestured to his right where the long-haired Major Carter was sitting tensely in her chair, '' let's hear your side.'' 

'' All right. At Major Carter's suggestion, SG-2 and I gated to....'' 

As she told, in as little detail as possible, of how she got to the other reality, Sam couldn't help but be aware of everyone around her. Of Daniel sitting beside her, a stupid grin on his face, looking like he'd just found his long-lost twin, of Hammond nodding at her words understandingly, of Colonel O'Neill staring fixedly down at his fidgeting fingers. Jack sitting across her, his eyes roaming about the room, the other Sam Carter who kept swallowing hard and wouldn't look up. Teal'c - loyal, steadfast Teal'c who was being gawped at by the other realities SG-1 and SG-2. She could see it was making him uncomfortable by the disdainful looks he was giving them all. 

'' Yes, everyone that's Teal'c,'' she snapped at them, interrupting her own briefing. '' Now stop staring at him like he's going to pull a zat on you and pay attention.'' 

Daniel beside her snorted at this uncharacteristic sharpness from her, but looked up and around in surprise as a number of SG-2 murmured a 'yes, sir' and Boyd and Forsythe grimaced and turned their attention to the front of the table. 

'' Anyway,'' Sam continued, giving the lot of them a last scowl, '' the SGF was taken over by General Thomas and I was refused access to the mirror or the chance to talk to our more advanced allies who might know the location of another mirror.'' 

'' So what did you do for the three months you were in the SGF, Major?'' 

'' Initially, General Thomas put me back on SG-2 after a couple of weeks of acclimatising. SG-2 comprises of Captain Hennersey,'' Sam nodded at the captain, then the rest of the team, '' Lieutenant Thake and Dr Hadley.'' 

'' Are there civilians on every team?'' Daniel asked. 

'' The SGF was originally an archaeological facility, Daniel,'' Jack said, speaking up for the first time. '' We have an archaeological branch and most teams, except the marine teams, have a civilian, either archaeological or a linguist.'' 

'' Really? What an interesting idea.'' 

'' Don't even think about it, Danny,'' Colonel O'Neill muttered. 

'' Actually, Colonel,'' Forsythe put in, smiling slightly at Sam, '' I was the same as you. When I brought in by General Thomas to lead SG-2, I thought the layout of the teams was the worst feature of the SGF. But, as it turns out, it's probably one of the best. The civilians humanise the facility.'' 

'' I'll take it under advisement. Thank you, Colonel Forsythe,'' Hammond said peaceably, nodding at Forsythe. He turned back to Sam. '' SG-2, Major?'' 

'' Yeah. I led SG-2 for six missions before Green, who was on SG-1 with Colonel O'Neill, Captain Boyd, Daniel Jackson, went on paternity leave. After that, General Thomas decided that since Colonel O'Neill and I weren't actually married, though he'd made us live in the same house together, I could replace Green on SG-1.'' 

'' Basically, Thomas wanted the top Stargate scientist in the flagship team,'' Jack put in to clarify, '' as well as, handily, bringing in a colonel of his own choice to...'' He stopped, narrowing his eyes at Sam and the other reality Daniel as they groaned in unison. '' What? What was that?'' 

Sam cleared her throat and reached for her water. '' Nothing. Frog in my throat.'' 

Daniel was a little less tactful. '' Can we not have you spouting insane political theories, Jack? Particularly since they're worth squat now that General Thomas is being hung by the President.'' 

'' Wait, wait, is this the theory where I replace you?'' Forsythe jumped in, enjoying himself immensely. He grinned down the table at Jack. 

Jack closed his eyes briefly. '' Don't tell me. Sam told you at New Year's. Damn, how much did you drink? You were still standing, at least.'' 

Cringing, Sam lowered her head to the table and refused to comment. 

'' Major Carter, Colonel O'Neill, as amusing as your escapades outside the mountain are, we have a short period of time to discuss this matter and....'' 

'' Of course, General, I'm very sorry. It won't happen again,'' Sam said, lifting her head swiftly and taking in a deep breath. She would not be embarrassed, she would not be embarrassed.... '' I was put back on SG-1 as 2IC. We were sent on missions. Then Daniel found this text about alternate realities which Captain Spanin had brought back from a market especially for him.'' This time it was Daniel who started to blush. Both Daniel's, interestingly enough. '' Which made us think that there might be another mirror out there. We put in a request to Colonel O'Neill to revisit the planet, saying it would be useful to go for information and technological finds and so on.'' 

'' A request that went unanswered until shortly before Christmas. But we had a tight schedule, according to the General, so it wouldn't be viable until we had more time,'' Daniel said, pushing his glasses up his nose. 

'' Damn!'' 

Everyone looked at Sam. 

'' Major?'' 

She flushed and lowered her head. '' God, sorry, nothing.'' That dress! This was so childish, but, seriously, it was a great dress. She wondered if there was any way she could get someone to run back and... '' Just remembered something. Never mind. Um, Christmas came and went. We returned. A couple of missions. Mineral surveys. January. We went to see General Hammond. He told us about your messy hand written report.'' She glanced up through her lashes at Major Carter. '' With the code I did at the academy. The blobs over the letters that spelled out Colonel F. Simmons. Can I ask you a question?'' 

Major Carter nodded tersely. '' Sure.'' 

'' We're a little unsure of the timing. Did you use Edora and the covert op and the effect it had on your marriage as a superficial reason behind you disappearing, or did it merely delay you?'' 

Her counterpart lowered her eyes. '' It delayed me. I couldn't leave while Jack was stuck on... Edora, then I couldn't leave... because I'd thrown him out after,'' she clenched her teeth and forced the word out like it hurt, '' Edora. Then there was the Tollen nightmare. After that I decided I might as well leave. I didn't just leave the report, though. I had the surveillance tape of Colonel Simmons entering Kowalski's room to interview him. I hoped that would lead to you finding out that the one of him _interviewing_ him was missing from the library.'' 

Jack shook his head. '' Simmons must have had someone on the crew because they didn't find anything.'' 

'' I also had a photocopy of Daniel's journal entry on the Harcesis child in my office at home.'' 

Sam raised her eyebrows at Jack, but his expression darkened. '' Someone was in our house, then, because I personally searched that office from top to bottom.'' 

'' When you caught me, eleven months ago, I saw that you didn't have a clue about what had happened. I thought maybe Simmons had got to the evidence I'd left.'' She leaned forward in her seat, staring at her clasped hands. '' So I made sure you were able to follow me after you let me go, after I'd convinced you I wasn't her. Then I stumbled on the alternate reality mirror and saw a chance. I... fixated on it, like it was the only opportunity I could see. If I could get you to follow me through, then I could talk to you, but I waited there for nearly a day. It was taking too long, so I went through the gate to Earth knowing I had to get rid of the other me or I'd be facing entrophic cascade failure. I figured you'd take her back, figure out she wasn't me, and then return. I didn't realise General Hammond's time had run out.'' 

'' That's what we figured,'' Jack murmured, looking at his wife's hands. '' Or rather, what Sam figured. We went to Hammond, who made a phone call, then we went to Washington and had a nice little chat with the President. Sends his love by the way. Then we found out Thomas had lied to him - he'd been informed the mirror was damaged on the alternate reality's side. He was pretty pissed off.'' 

'' Next thing we knew, Hammond was reinstated,'' Daniel continued, looking triumphant, '' our allies were being informed that they could drop by unannounced without wasting our time and money and the President sent the mirror over. Luckily, the scientists in Area 51 hadn't touched it, it was still set on this reality, and we went through.'' 

'' And here you are,'' Colonel O'Neill said, looking at Sam finally. 

'' You didn't find the mirror on P4X 874?'' Sam said, biting her lip and avoiding the Colonel's gaze. 

'' We searched that island from top to bottom, Major Carter. For several weeks. At one stage, we had half the SGC combing the area. We couldn't find the mirror.'' 

Sam frowned and looked at Major Carter. '' Couldn't you show them where it was?'' 

'' I tried to. I showed them the cave I thought it was in but because it had been turned off at the other end, the mirror just looked like the rock. At first I thought it was the wrong cave, then we searched all the other caves. We couldn't find _anything_. Except that damned flashlight, which we left there as a sort of marker in case... well, for you to recognise home by.'' 

Colonel O'Neill smiled shortly at Hammond, then looked at his counterpart. '' So for three months we've been waiting. Waiting for you to come home.'' 

'' And here you are,'' Daniel said triumphantly, spreading his hands wide. '' Have I said how nice it is to have you home, Sam?'' 

Sam rolled her eyes. '' You did have a me here, Daniel.'' 

'' I know, I know, but both of you were in the wrong reality.'' 

'' General Hammond, I don't mean to be rude,'' Jack began, impatiently tapping his fingers on the table, '' but I was wondering if it would be possible for me to see my son?'' 

'' Of course, Colonel, of course. Matthew has taken over one of the quarters on the base for the time that his mother and he have been here. Major Carter, perhaps you'd like too.'' Major Carter was already nodding and sliding her seat back. 

'' The rest of you, feel free to investigate the base. Major,'' this time he looked at Sam, '' if you, Colonel O'Neill, Dr Jackson and Teal'c could join me in my office for a few minutes.'' 

Sam nodded, picked up a pen and let it dangle from her fingers. '' Yes, sir,'' she added to the chorus of agreements from SG-1. 

'' Dismissed.'' 

Sam pushed back her chair slowly, watching as Jack followed his wife out of the briefing room. 

Forsythe leaned over the table. '' The hair's gonna take some getting used too,'' he told her, grinning inanely. She couldn't believe she'd thought this man was a consummate professional. '' But it's growing on me real quick.'' 

'' Hey, she's married now,'' Sam pointed out, smirking. 

He rolled his eyes. '' So were you. Kinda.'' 

'' Sorta, I believe was the word.'' She grinned at him. '' Go look yourself up on the base computer.'' 

'' See what ass I'm kissing?'' he added. 

Sam's mouth dropped open in horror. Usually, she could drink anyone under the table - with the exception, obviously, of the Colonel and Teal'c. What had she drunk that night that had made her so loquacious? If the Goa'uld got a hold on it, Earth would never be safe. '' Jesus, Forsythe, you know I didn't make that name up for you. That was Jack's. And I didn't believe it, either.'' 

'' Go see your CO, Sam,'' he said, shaking his head pityingly at her. It was a damn good thing she was leaving that reality or she'd never be away from the ribbing. 

Sam stood up, saw that Colonel O'Neill and Daniel were waiting for her and that they hadn't missed the exchange at all. Teal'c was standing just outside the door, and was he smiling, just slight? She smiled at them, slid her arm around Daniel's and squeezed, looked at Teal'c. '' Teal'c, you've no idea how good it is to see you.'' 

'' As it is to see you, Major Carter.'' 

Her smiled widened even further as she took in her real team. '' Are was going to see the General or are we going to stand around here all day?'' 

The General didn't appear to be in 'telling off' mode. He offered them all seats, which everyone bar the Colonel and Teal'c accepted. Hammond was positively beaming. '' Now, this is what I like to see. SG-1 back together again. I hope the last three months haven't been too difficult for you Major. I know things around here have been rather fraught.'' 

Sam nodded. '' I suppose things could have been worse, though it did seem rather hopeless at times.'' She looked at Daniel, and what she could see of Teal'c. The Colonel was behind her, leaning against the wall and she didn't want to draw attention to the fact that she was looking at him by turning around. '' I missed everyone like crazy, particularly, if you don't mind me saying, sir, you.'' 

From the look on his face, Hammond didn't. '' With Thomas as a comparison, you'd probably have missed General Vidrine,'' he said dryly. 

Sam laughed. '' Exactly. How was the other Major Carter?'' 

'' Confused, hurt, lost, angry and upset,'' Daniel summarised. 

Sam winced, looked at Hammond. '' When did she tell you the truth?'' 

'' Shortly after Jack locked her up and refused to let her see her son,'' Daniel murmured, looking down at his shoes. 

All once, tension filled the air. Disapproval emanated from Daniel while behind her, Sam knew Colonel O'Neill was clenching his teeth. 

'' It was an effective method of gaining the truth from an unwilling subject, Daniel Jackson,'' Teal'c put in loyally. 

'' By denying a mother the right to...'' 

'' Dr Jackson, please. We've been through this,'' Hammond murmured depressingly. 

'' Right,'' Sam said quickly, clearing her throat. '' Kind of the same approach the other Jack used, then.'' She'd glossed over the details earlier in an effort to shorten the briefing. '' I was locked up in the brig, interviewed firstly by the other Colonel, who flatly refused to believe I was who I said I was, then Daniel came in. Dr Fraiser verified who I was - in the other reality, Jolinar entered her through the back of the neck, not through the mouth and there some differences in broken bones and scars and things since Major Carter experienced a number of different missions on SG-1.'' 

'' So after that they knew you weren't her, then?'' Daniel queried. 

'' Well, intellectually, everyone knew that. General Thomas certainly didn't care one way or another, but it took everyone else a while to adapt to the idea. I got the impression that Colonel O'Neill, Major Carter and Matthew were an integral part of the SGF. Everyone knew who they were - Matthew had to be brought in for check-ups to make sure there weren't any after effects of the naquadah in his blood... oh, have you had him tested? I mean, Jack told me that Matt's a bright kid.'' 

Hammond smiled. '' He certainly is. No doubt SG-1 will regale you with tales of how he broke into the SGC computers and caused havoc with the sprinkler systems, but that'll be for later. Major Carter did raise the Harcesis possibility and experts have been spoken to regarding his intelligence but all it seems to be natural. Jacob did come by and point out that both you and Mark starting reading, writing and talking earlier than most children. He's certainly not spouting Goa'uld.'' 

Sam smiled, relieved. '' Oh good. That means they can go home easily enough.'' She sighed, folded her hands on her lap. '' I guess it's all over then.'' 

'' Are you comfortable returning to SG-1, Major?'' 

She was slightly surprised. '' Of course, sir. I'm looking forward to it.'' 

'' Well, you'll have a week to readjust.'' 

'' Sure. Um, actually, Jack mentioned something the other day. While our realities are remarkably similar in some ways, the planets we have encountered have been different. The SGF has some technology we don't, and vice versa. If we keep the alternate reality open, for the time being at least, we could exchange info. I mean, I've been working a remote dialling computer here but when I got to the other reality, Major Carter was several steps ahead of me and I was able to virtually complete it. I'm sure there other situations which each side can use to their advantage.'' 

'' Good idea, Major. I shall speak to... the other Colonel O'Neill about it. Colonel? Do you have anything to add?'' 

This time, Sam decided it would be okay to turn and look at her CO. Since he was staring at her anyway, she met his eyes and shyly smiled. 

'' Nothing to add, sir,'' Colonel O'Neill murmured. '' It's good to have Major Carter back, that's all. Anything else, General? We have unknown persons on the base and I'd like to see what they're up to.'' 

'' That's all SG-1. Dismissed.'' He nodded at them, then gestured at Sam to approach the desk. '' I've sent the order to have Jacob summoned. I know he'll want to see you.'' 

'' Thank you, General, I would like to see him too.'' 

'' Good. Without sounding redundant, Sam, it is good to have you back where you belong.'' 

This time, when she turned to leave, only Daniel was waiting for her. She closed the door behind her and embraced Daniel again, grinning across his shoulder. '' Man, you really did miss me.'' 

He drew back, put his hands on her shoulders and gave her a look of impossible weariness. '' Are you kidding? Jack's been like a bear with a sore paw for three months, Teal'c's not really the chatty type, and Major Carter has divided her time between your lab, trying to work out some way to get them home, and her son. Not that she wasn't nice, and all, but she wasn't you.'' 

'' Have you been on missions?'' 

'' No! Well, the odd dig, I suppose. Jack refused to leave while you weren't here, Major Carter only wanted to work on a way home and Teal'c sticks by Jack no matter what.'' He snorted. '' So, was the other Daniel, um, nice?'' 

'' The other Daniel was nice.'' 

'' You're not going to elaborate on that, are you?'' 

'' Captain Spanin?'' 

He shrunk slightly. '' Uh-oh.'' 

She giggled. '' That Daniel's going out with her. Anything you'd like to tell me?'' 

'' He's actually dating her? How did he manage that?'' 

'' I don't know. Ask Boyd. He'll know for sure. They're kinda best friends.'' 

'' Me and Boyd? Major Boyd?'' 

'' Well, he's a captain in that reality...'' 


	12. Epilogue

A/N: Okay, this is the last bit. The end. That's all folks. No more after this. I feel kinda sad. Anyway, extreme shippiness alert, certain degree of angst.****

**Epilogue**

Subtly, but surely, things had changed between Sam and Colonel O'Neill. On missions off world, on world, at work and out of hours, their relationship had certainly shifted. 

For the worse. 

Sam couldn't comprehend it. As she'd walked back through the Stargate into her own gate room, she'd made an unconscious decision to herself. Things would get better between her and Colonel O'Neill and if he was going to need a little bit of coaxing in that area, then she'd work him up to the stage she wanted to be at. She'd start by smiling at him more. She knew he liked it when she smiled because he used to go out of his way to make her grin, laugh, giggle. 

But it was difficult to smile when your CO was deliberately torturing you for reasons that were completely beyond you. 

'' Daniel's tired tonight, Major. You can handle double shifts, can't you?'' 

Yes, sir. 

'' Noticed you were lagging behind a bit today, Major. Remember to keep up tomorrow.'' 

Yes, sir. 

'' I'll need these reports in ASAP, Major.'' 

Yes, sir. 

Anything else, sir? 

Would you like me to polish your boots, sir? Clean your weapon? 

Kick you up the ass from here into Antarctica? And _not_ splint your leg this time? 

Daniel got angry. In fact, Sam didn't think she'd ever seen Daniel quite so furious before. Despite the fact that Sam had forbidden him to lay into Colonel O'Neill about his behaviour towards her, Daniel decided to take it out on him in other ways. Namely, boring him to death or disagreeing with every order he gave. 

Which only put Colonel O'Neill into a worse mood and, consequentially, he took his worse mood out on her. 

There was a point at three in the morning on Thursday as Sam sat over her laptop and wrote up the extra reports he had demanded of her, when Sam thought she was either going to fall into a hysterical pit of tears and exhaustion, or she was going to quit. 

Mmm, quitting, what a nice idea. 

Teal'c, who Sam had mistakenly believed to be unaware of the vigorous punishment the Colonel was putting her through, finally cracked at exactly midday, on the second day of their mission on P3C 981. 

They were trouping, in single file, through a field of ankle high grass on a track that the local 'agricultural specialist' had advised them to use upon making their way through his land back to the Stargate. The Stargate, Sam knew, was due north, directly over the small hill she could see in a pretty little valley. She felt the pull of it almost physically - the Stargate meant home, and home was especially important to her nowadays. 

Colonel O'Neill hadn't been horrible to her for the past three hours. He'd been clipped over breakfast, true, and had reprimanded her - bizarrely, Sam felt - for the way in which she'd packed up the tent, but since that hadn't physically damaged her in any way she wasn't feeling too bad about things. For the past three hours, he hadn't said a word to her. Better than shouting at her, she decided. 

Daniel, walking protectively between her and Colonel O'Neill, still kept looking behind him to check that she was all right. In an ironic contrast, Sam's relationship with Daniel - never problematic in the first place - had improved to the point that had anyone asked, she would have said Daniel was her best friend. She'd been seeing him a lot recently out of work. He'd helped her spring clean her house, redecorate some of the rooms and, in return, she'd gone with him to the some small, out of the way museums, sat in musty libraries and searched for obscure texts. It hadn't passed her by that Daniel was trying to keep her mind off her failing relationship with her CO. 

God, she'd had such hopes, Sam thought as she marched silently through the field. Bolstered by the other Janet, the other Jack, even the other Jacob and Daniel, she'd had an epiphany over her indecision over her Colonel. The war was not going to end any time soon and regretting not taking up the chance of a relationship with a man who, in four other realities, she had been with, was not something she wanted to keep her awake at night any more. 

She stumbled slightly, pulling herself out of her thoughts, and saw that her shoe lace was undone. Daniel, noticing that she stopped, paused also to wait for her as she bent down and re-tightened and tied up her regulation boots. 

A shadow fell over her, larger and broader than any shadow Daniel could made, and two heavy boots came into her eye line. Tensing, very slowly, Sam looked up at her CO. The look on her face made her flinch instinctively - for God's sake, she'd had boot camp instructors who'd been less scary than he was. '' Sorry,'' she whispered automatically, hurriedly rising to her feet, hating how he was making her feel, how he was making her act. 

'' What was that, Major?'' 

'' I'm sorry,'' she said in a louder voice. 

'' I'm sorry, what, Major?'' 

'' I'm sorry sir!'' she shouted. 

'' That's not good enough!'' 

And just as Daniel opened his mouth to start joining in with the shouting, an arm shot out and punched the Colonel in the face. Taken by surprise, he fell back onto his pack and lay on the ground, clutching at his face. 

For a moment, Daniel and Sam simply gaped at Teal'c. 

'' Well... way to go, Teal'c,'' Daniel managed eventually. 

'' O'Neill, Daniel Jackson and myself will make our way to the Stargate. We shall await you there.'' 

Open mouthed, Sam watched as Teal'c propelled Daniel away, and left her to deal with a groaning Jack O'Neill. 

Eventually, she realised she had to do something, so she dropped to her knees, reached behind her and unclipped her pack and pulled out the first aid kit. She reached over to the Colonel, grabbed him by the vest and yanked him upright. 

'' Hey, I'm hurt here!'' he complained. '' Dammit.'' 

Sam, frankly, couldn't give any less of a damn. '' Where did he hit you?'' she asked coolly. 

'' The son of a....'' Grunting, he too struggled out of his pack, threw it to the side and made himself more comfortable on the ground. In the process, he had let go of his face and Sam could see Teal'c had punched her CO in the eye. He was going to have one mega black eye, she decided with some entertainment. Way to go, Teal'c, indeed. 

He sat quietly, holding the ice pack to his eye socket, his one eye watching her face as she tidied up the first aid kit she carried. Five minutes of not talking apparently did him in, because he pulled the ice pack off and sighed deeply. '' Why in God's name haven't you reported me yet, Carter?'' 

'' So it's Carter now? I thought you'd forgotten all of my given names.'' 

He didn't seem to have any idea of how to respond to that, instead he put the ice pack back against his eye and looked off over the field to a collection of pretty little houses. Sam looked at him properly for the first time in ages. His attitude towards her meant that she'd been afraid of looking him in the eye for fear of getting some other unjustified reprimand and consequentially she hadn't really noticed the toll that his emotions had taken on him. He looked sad - not his usual air of sadness though. This time it was etched around his eyes and mouth. 

'' If it had gone on much longer,'' she said, in answer to his original question, '' I was considering leaving SG-1.'' 

He pulled his knees up and rested his elbows on them, holding his hands over his face. '' I'm surprised Danny and Teal'c lasted this long, you know. Last week, with the Phoenicians, I thought Daniel was going to grab my P-90 and shoot me.'' 

If he knew he was being an asshole, why the hell did he keep doing it? she wondered. Was there anything about this man that was simple? 

'' I missed you.'' 

She swallowed abruptly. All right. So maybe there was. '' I missed you too.'' 

Still hiding from her, he spoke through his hands. '' No, I mean, I really _missed_ you.'' 

Faintly, Sam smiled. '' Am I not getting the point here, Colonel?'' 

'' No. I don't think you are, Major. How come you could call him 'Jack' and you can't even call me that when I expressly ask you too?'' he demanded hurriedly, as if the words hadn't been the ones he'd been expecting to say. 

'' I was living with him, sir.'' She winced at the 'sir', but couldn't help it. 

'' And if you were living with me, would you call me 'Jack'?'' 

Though it was a delicate subject, Sam nodded. 

'' That's all it would take?'' 

'' Well, no. Yes. I don't know. I called him 'Colonel' and 'sir' at the beginning but then Thomas made me move in with him and we started being friends... it just seemed awkward to call him by his rank and title at home.'' 

Jack pulled his hands down, one eye swelling and red, the other clear and focussed. It was an interesting combination. '' So we're not friends, is that what you're saying?'' he said caustically. 

She opened her mouth to hotly deny that they weren't friends, then realised, horror of horrors, that he was right. That the other Jack, too, had been right all along. '' No, we're not friends.'' 

'' What?'' 

'' I mean, we're not _friends_ friends. We don't do things together, we don't talk about anything other than work. We're comrades. It's almost as if we've somehow gone backwards in the friendship stakes. God, Colonel, we were more 'friends' in our first missions together than we are now. At least then we weren't afraid to talk to each other.'' 

The muscle in his jaw started working over time. '' I hate the Tok'ra.'' 

At first, it seemed to be some kind of non sequitor, then she saw where he was coming from. The incident they never, ever talked about. Not even professionally. '' On the other hand, Martouf could have killed the President,'' she said softly. 

He smiled equally gently. '' There is that, of course. Oh, damn, can I have some painkillers now?'' 

'' Sure.'' She passed him two, and her own water bottle. '' I guess you should be grateful Teal'c pulled his punch.'' 

'' Boy am I ever.'' He gulped a couple of mouthfuls of water down, clenched his teeth against the pain. '' You sure inspire brotherly protectiveness in those boys.'' 

'' It's sweet, isn't it?'' She beamed at him. '' When I was a teenager, a lot of Dad's men acted in the same way. Of course, they were sucking up and didn't realise I could look after myself.'' 

'' It's not that they don't think you can't look after yourself, Carter, it's more... well, for Teal'c, it's an honour thing. If he thinks I'm acting dishonourably, he'll point it out. Or punch me.'' Gingerly, he reached up and touched his swelling eye. '' For Daniel, you're kinda like his sister. Kinda. Sorta. What was that jerk talking about anyway?'' 

'' Huh?'' 

He scowled phenomenally at her. '' I expected to be pissed off about my other self. I knew you'd charm the pants off him - and you better not have done that literally....'' 

'' Jack!'' 

'' ... but I wasn't expecting you to be flirting over the briefing room table with some stranger who clearly has some issues if he's going after women who are involved, however convoluted it may be...'' 

'' If you carry on like this,_ I'll_ punch you.'' 

He slumped. '' Damn, I really missed you. You didn't look like you missed me at all.'' 

'' How can you think that?'' This time, she really did hit him. On the shoulder. And in a respectful kind of way. '' I was in another reality, Jack, and the man who was playing you hated me for the first few weeks. He treated me like...'' Kind of like the Colonel had been treating her for the past couple of weeks, actually. 

Okay. She was officially confused. '' What's wrong with you? Why have you been acting like this?'' 

'' Isn't it obvious?'' 

'' Humour me. I'm useless when it comes to men. As the other you pointed out on a number of occasions.'' 

He seemed to think this was funny. '' You are, aren't you? You never get it unless you're told it. Carter, I've been in love with you for probably the whole of our time on SG-1. Okay, maybe it's a little unrealistic to say for the whole of the time. For the first year, I knew I was falling in love with you, which is different. But the rest of the time... damn, the rest of the time...'' He trailed off wearily, shaking his head. 

Well. 

That just clarified everything, didn't it? 

'' You were jealous,'' she stated, having a minor 

'' I _am_ jealous.'' 

'' Present tense?'' 

'' Yes. You don't get over being jealous. He spent three months with you. In three months you graduated from hating each other to being all friendly over the table, being 'Jack and Sam'. I swear, you've never looked at me like that.'' His hands went to cover his face again, which was a shame, because he missed the appalled look on her face. 

'' God, Jack, of course I could... you know the reason I... He was safe, for crying out loud! He was married. I could trust myself with him in a way I can't with you. Of course I could call him Jack. Things were different. The lines were blurred - to the outside world we were married and it was obvious General Thomas didn't give a damn either way.'' 

She reached out and pulled his hands away from his face. He'd just told her he loved her and she was babbling. Of course she was babbling. Wasn't that what she did best? '' I was in love with you long before I left this reality. Being there... it just showed me that I was wasting time. Part of the reason I was so adamant about leaving it in the room was that I was scared. I'm not good with relationships and you looked suspiciously like the type of man I always fall for - the ones who are going to disappoint and hurt me, knock me back a few steps in the confidence stakes. But then I realised you weren't like that, that you were perfect for me, that there was nothing I'd like better than to be with you.'' 

He was using her own grip on his hands to pull her forwards and she hadn't even noticed. Her heart started pounding harder as she watched his pupils dilate, his lips part. Closer, closer... '' Just tell me, before things get out of hand,'' he whispered, his mouth only centimetres away from hers, '' who that damn Forsythe guy was?'' 

She couldn't smile, not this close to him, not the way she was feeling, not with her heart in her throat, her lungs working away, her blood pounding in her temples. '' Just some guy who reminded me of you, Jack.'' 

And then they were there. In a field. Off-world. In probably the most unprofessional move of Sam's life. Making out. With her CO. 

The first time they pulled apart she looked down into his face (somehow he'd pulled her on top of him, and if Hammond appeared over that hill he would be in no two minds about what they were doing), panting, and laughed. She had her hands in his hair, his lovely quirky hair and for the first time in her life, Sam was resolved to throwing aside every damn regulation regarding the relationship between a CO and 2IC. 

'' You're _laughing_?'' he demanded, looking pretty damn pleased with himself, reaching up to slide his fingers behind her ears and through her hair which made the very edges of her body tingle all over. He pulled her head down close and nibbled on her bottom lip. And that did obscene things low down in her stomach. 

'' Just at the situation.'' She sighed into his mouth. This was how it was supposed to be. No controlling, no secrets. It was like the puzzle pieces falling into place at once. '' This is not where I imagined doing this.'' 

'' Really? I've imagined doing this everywhere.'' He continued to dab kisses around the edges of her mouth. '' On the briefing table,'' kiss, '' in your lab,'' kiss '' on my office floor'' kiss '' in every single room of my house''. 

Sam smiled between each kiss, delirious with all manner of very pleasant emotions. '' I love Teal'c.'' 

'' The best friend a guy could have.'' 

'' And Daniel, of course.'' 

'' Of course.'' 

She smiled against his mouth and decided to head for the last hurdle. '' Well, you're a much better kisser than Forsythe.'' 

'' Oh, for crying out loud!'' 


	13. Epilogue 2

A/N: I so never meant to do this. This is just a small epilogue for the alternate reality, just in case anyone's interested. 

Disclaimer at the beginning. 

* 

* 

* 

Matthew fell asleep on the drive home, unsurprisingly since his day had been full of unusual excitement for such a small child. Unfortunately, his sleeping meant that both Sam and Jack no longer had an excuse to keep up the tense, nervous chatter that they felt they needed to maintain for Matthew's sake. After all, he'd been understandably confused when faced with his father for the first time in two years. He had little recollection of Jack other than the photograph that his mother kept with her at all times, and was rather confused that the man Sam now labelled as his father looked remarkably similar to that other man she'd tried to keep him away from back in the SGC. 

Thankfully, Matthew was a rather peaceable young man and took things in his stride. He'd found it very easy to call Jack 'Daddy' once he realised such behaviour got him tickled or swung around in the air, even if being hugged was almost too much to bear. Sam had been so relieved that Matthew hadn't instantly taken a suspicious dislike to Jack that she'd nearly fallen on the floor. Only the prudent arrival of the SGC Dr Fraiser and her quick actions had meant Sam collapsed into a nearby chair and not onto the linoleum. 

Of course. Now she was home. 

Jack turned into their street, his hands gripping the wheel so tightly she was afraid something was going to snap. Her own nerves stretched tightly, she found her fingernails digging into her palms as their house got closer... closer... 

He pulled into the drive, switched off the engine. 

And they both sat there. 

Terror. Sam was terrified. There were so many reasons to be afraid. What if they never got over this? What if he never forgave her? What if he liked that other Sam better than her? What if she lost him? 

Fumbling for the handle, Sam forgot to take her seat-belt off and nearly strangled herself in the process of trying to get out. Outside, the air was cool and fresh and she sucked in heavy breaths repeatedly, trying not to hyperventilate. 

'' Sam?'' 

She gasped and hurriedly stepped away from him, holding her hands out to stop him from touching her when she was this close to losing control. But the look on his face was so awful, so traumatised that the hands that had been preventing him from coming closer, turned into hands that were reaching for him. He moved swiftly forwards, threw his arms around her and lifted her a clean few inches off the ground. 

Oh _God_, Sam thought. Oh _God _but it was good to hold him. So good. She wrapped her arms about his neck and clung on for dear life. She didn't care who saw. It was six in the evening and she had every right to hold on to her husband as if he was the only thing keeping her afloat. 

There were no words, not yet. Neither of them were capable of voicing how they were feeling just yet. They simply clung to each other. Sam couldn't even cry yet. As it was she was barely managing to breath in and out, filling her lungs with the distinctive scent of him, Jack O'Neill. Beyond her, she could feel him doing the same, breathing in and out just as deeply as she was doing. 

At some point, they realised that maybe they ought to take Matthew inside, continue their homecoming behind closed doors and drawn curtains. Wordlessly, Jack conveyed to Sam his wish to carry Matthew into his bedroom and she nodded quickly, opening the car door and letting him reach across the child's seat, unclick the seatbelt and fill his arms with his son. The sight brought a lump to Sam's throat, just as it had done when Jack had first seen him again. She took the keys from his hand and locked the car, before hurrying to the front door and opening it, taking in the first sight of her hallway. The hallway she'd decorated. At first glance, nothing had changed, then she noticed that her coats were no longer hanging in the hallway, that the usual arrangement of flowers she kept on the hall table was absent. The laundry basket wasn't sitting at the base of the stairs and her handbag wasn't hanging off the back of the chair. Everything screamed her absence. 

Swallowing, she let Jack go through and head up the stairs. Making a conscious decision to let him spend some time alone with his son, she closed the front door and went into the living room. 

Still the same, but not. The answer machine was flickering and reflexively she pressed the PLAY button. 

'' Hi, Jack, it's Sara. Call me when you get a moment.'' 

She winced. _Sara_. Two years ago Jack and his ex-wife had been on fairly good speaking terms. She'd been invited to their wedding but had politely declined, phoning up to congratulate Sam and Jack, even going so far as to send a wedding present. Perhaps things had got a little cosier while Sam had been away. 

Dismissing that thought as ridiculous - this was Jack after all. Her Jack. And she knew him down to the ground. Sara had been the mother of his son, they would always have a bond, but she was his wife now, she was the mother of his son. Even if she'd left him, abandoned him, taken his son away from him. Abused the marital relationship, even if she hadn't meant to. 

_Oh Jack..._

'' He sleeps really deeply.'' 

She jumped, looked away from the answer machine. '' Takes after me, then.'' She smiled tensely at him, her fingers going to toy with the edge of a sofa cushion. '' Sara called.'' She glanced up at him sideways, wanting to catch his reaction to her unintentional statement. 

Jack wasn't obviously concerned. His face showed the usual discomfort it did when faced with questions about his ex-wife from his wife. '' She did? She's... engaged.'' 

'' Really?'' 

He nodded, his hands going to the edge of his jeans pockets, then slipping inside in a gesture he hadn't used in front of her for years. But he'd always done it when they'd first started dating. Was this how it was going to be? she wondered. Were they back to first date scenarios? Had she bruised the marriage that much? She supposed she ought to be grateful that she hadn't wrecked it completely. 

'' To some... guy. Randy. Andy. Peter! Peter, that's it.'' 

Her relief was so intense she completely forgot to laugh at the way he'd forgotten his ex-wife's future-spouse's name. '' Peter. That guy she works with?'' Distantly, she remember a co-partner by the name of Peter. 

Jack shrugged, obviously not recalling the details. '' She's being skittish, nervous. Second marriages being... difficult and all that.'' 

Difficult. '' I wouldn't know,'' she said coolly, her eyes going to stare at the cushion her fingers were playing with. 

'' It's nerve wracking. You worry... worry about making the same mistakes again. I worried that I wouldn't be able to talk about.. things. The important things. That's what broke me and Sara, even before... before Charlie.'' 

Sam managed a watery impression of a smile as tears bloomed. '' I should have told you.'' 

'' Yes.'' 

'' I couldn't have.'' 

'' I know.'' 

She restrained from blinking, knowing that if she started crying now, she may not stop. '' I wanted too.'' 

'' I know.'' 

'' But... it was Matthew. Someone had to stay behind to work it all out.'' 

'' I sure did a good job of that,'' he said bitterly. 

She looked at him sharply, the tears in her eyes on the verge of spilling over. '' You weren't to know Simmons would sweep the house, my office. Jack, don't blame yourself for that,'' she ordered. 

He was still hovering behind one of the sofa chairs, fingers tapping the back edge. '' You know I just love to blame myself, Sam.'' 

'' Yes, but you can't. You mustn't. It. Was. Not. Your. Fault.'' She moved towards him, standing in front of the sofa chair and trying to hold his eyes, though he seemed intent on avoiding her gaze. '' You worked it out now. We're back. You have your son. Our son,'' she corrected. She blinked, and several tears streamed down her cheeks. '' He's here, right now, in his bedroom where he belongs.'' 

'' But it took me two years and another you to figure it out. How can you forgive that?'' 

She swiped at her eyes. '' I can forgive you anything, Jack.'' 

'' Laira?'' 

'' As far as I was aware, there was nothing there for me to forgive,'' she said, the damn name raising up her hackles like no other name had ever managed too. Laira inspired jealousy that Sara never had done, and she didn't know why. 

Jack was clenching and unclenching his teeth, his eyes searching the room, like he was looking for some reason for her to hate him. '' I can't understand why you... Sam, I thought I _hated_ you.'' 

She winced. '' I remember.'' And it had convinced her more than ever that if he could hate her that much, then he must have loved her in equal proportions. Despite the strength of their marriage, with Jack, she'd never been entirely sure if he loved her on the scale she loved him. Perhaps it was a remnant of past relationships, perhaps it was his inability to speak about his feelings, she didn't know. '' But you don't hate me now?'' 

He shook his head. '' No. I still love you.'' 

_Oh God, oh God, oh God.... _'' I sense a but coming...''She nearly choked on her words. 

_But I can't stay married to you..._

_But I think we should get a divorce..._

_But you destroyed this precious thing we had, Sam. You destroyed it._

'' But... can you still love me?'' 

'' What?'' He'd stopped her heart for that? How he could he doubt _that_? '' Yes! Of course I still love you. How could... you searched for me. If, thanks to Colonel fucking Simmons you didn't find the clues I gave you, at least you risked your career, General Hammond's, the whole of the SGF's, trying to find me and Matthew. Of course I still love you, Jack. I fall more in love with you every day. I can't help it!'' 

Okay, that had been a little more enthusiastic than she'd meant it to be. She flushed, and this time it was her who was avoiding his eyes, crushing her previously gesticulating hands into her pockets. 

He just stared at her. Eyes boring into her. 

'' God, say something,'' she whispered when the tension became too much. 

'' I... you know I can't....'' 

She rolled her eyes and turned away. Typical Jack. When the emotions got too much, he clammed up. '' Jesus.'' 

'' Sam, come here.'' 

'' No.'' But it was more sulky than unwilling. 

He chuckled softly and walked around to her instead, reached around her waist lightly and held on to her. His mouth lingered over her forehead for an instant before it pressed there, then Sam's shoulders relaxed completely. '' We're gonna be all right, aren't we?'' 

'' Please, God, I hope so.'' 

She pressed her cheek against his chest and breathed him in. '' I've missed you so much.'' 

Jack kissed her temple, then the hair that lay there. '' Hey, you had a version of me for a while.'' 

'' No, no, he couldn't bare to be in the same room with me. I reminded him too much of his Sam. They... they don't have anything, you know.'' 

'' I know. She told me.'' His mouth moved further down and she smiled as it brushed her cheek, paused on the corner of her mouth and breathed warm air slightly. '' Sam...'' 

'' Uh-huh...'' She was trying not to tilt her head towards him, her mouth gravitating towards his. Somehow this step, the physical step that her body had missed so intensely while she'd been away, couldn't be initiated by one person. It would have to be mutually agreed upon. The moment had to be right. 

'' I realise we need to do a little more talking...'' 

'' Yeah.'' She so knew where this was going. Perhaps this was the right moment. It certainly felt like it; the pull that had been there from that first evening, the red dress, his tux and dark, passionate, pained eyes was still there, tugging away. Just like it had tugged them into their first kiss, the taste of wine on each other's tongues, the feel of his hands pressing into her back. And the first time... she would never forget the look in his eyes as he held her, the way his hands had cradled her face as they moved over one another intimately. 

'' And I know everything's not going to get sorted out tonight.'' 

'' Right.'' Her fingers brushed his side, going to the hem of his top. 

'' So I was thinking, it wouldn't be too... um...'' 

She slid a hand underneath that hem, the tips of her fingers running over the first inch of flesh she could find. '' Jack?'' 

'' Yes?'' he seemed relieved to be rescued from his impending suggestion. 

'' Do you want to go to bed?'' 

His mouth smiled against her cheek, touched hers chastely. '' Very much so.'' 

She grinned, rubbed her cheek against him. '' Me too.'' 

'' Oh boy.'' 

'' Hey, that's my line..'' 

They giggled and Jack finally covered her mouth with his own. 


End file.
